"Yes," I ask.
"Yes, if their family is not happy with their choice, especially their parents." Then he looked at me and smiled. “Because they chose to make themselves happy even though they knew it would hurt their family. So we are both double-selfish because our family is no longer happy with what we are doing. We also put their shame in jeopardy when they get caught up in what we are doing.”
"Fuck, that's fucking unfair to all the children," I said angrily.
“It's really like that, Mia because we're just children. We did not even ask them to give birth to us but we still owe them that they raised us. They did not ask for anything in return for us because they chose to give birth to us. The same that we have no right to ask anything of them. It also depends on the rebellious children.”
"Even understanding and support?"
“In life live on your own, when you can be yourself, you should be free and learn to stand on your own. Because you don't know that those who support and understand you may be dead someday. What if you're used to having them always being by your side, right?” Then he smiled. “I told you before when you are weak you lose. It's not just our job Mia but also the reality of life."
I suddenly thought of what Dylan had told me. For me, he has a point in another part, but there is a part where I don't agree with him. That is the selfish we are because we choose to be free. If selfish is the name given to your desire to help your family even though you know they may feel embarrassed. I'd rather be selfish for the rest of my life so they don't get into debt. I can at least help add to my papa's life so that we can be with him for so long.
I stared at Dylan who was now wondering why I was staring at him.
"Why?"
"Marry me." He coughed at what I said so I stroked his back. He even let go of the bottle, which was fortunately empty. “Fuck you, Dylan. It's like you said that you have no intention of marrying me!”
He straightened up then he became serious then I turned closer to him and hugged him.
"Are you serious? I think you're drunk.”
I looked up and then narrowed my eyes at him.
"Why, you don't have a plan to marry me?"
He laughed and then pushed me into his chest and kissed me on the head.
“If it's just a plan, Mia, my plan is bigger than your thought. But it’s not yet time for us to get into something we’re not totally ready for. Our lives are still chaotic today. How we can build a family then?” he asked then raised my head.
"I just want to prove to our parents that we can be good and responsible parents even if we are not good children for them."
“Ah, so you want to get revenge on them?” he asked then touched my face. “We can't take revenge on them, Mia. They are the ones who can get revenge when we have children because we will experience what they have experienced with us. As we are to them so is it what our children will do to us. That's where we can understand them.”
"So, do you understand why your mom is mad at you?"
“No, but that is not enough reason to leave them. You also, you don't understand why your mother is angry with you but that is not enough reason for you to disobey her because she has nothing wrong with you.” I stood up and then looked at him wickedly.
“You know I don't know who you're biased against. Whether with the two of us or our parents.” He laughed and kissed me.
"We can't get married because you haven't had the closure of your ex yet." I tapped him with the beer bottle. It's just weak enough.
“Fuck you, I told you I am not his ex because we never had a relationship. You keep insisting.” He laughed as he shook his head.
“Ah! whatever, but we can still get married. As long as we are here in this work we cannot build a family. Have mercy on our future children and don't include them.”
"Looks like you have no plans to leave." I stared at him and he converted me again.
“You just thought that, I'm just taking some time so just wait. Just wait and don't go back to your ex. Your dream of marrying me will come true.”
"I'm not his ex." I struggled to escape but he hugged me tighter.
"Yes, not anymore." He laughs holding me back. "You still wanted to talk then."
If I could tell him that Jr. was at home earlier. "… .And I saw him come out of your house earlier when I picked you up." When I raised my head, he had already signed peace. "Peace, Mia."
I don't know if he loves me because since he found out that Jr. came, he's always been teasing me or he's just complacent about my love for him.
"Are you teasing me?" I asked him annoyed.
"I'm not just telling the truth."
"And you're not angry?"
"Where to get angry?"
“That Jr. was at our house. I don't think you love me because you're not jealous.” I was surprised when he suddenly move and what happened next was that he was already behind me. "H-hey."
“I love you, Mia. More than you imagine." Then he kissed me on the lips which I reciprocated. We remained in that position until my hand spontaneously moved. But he grabbed it quickly. "No, I don't want to tempt us both." Then he came down and took me by the hand and helped me to get up.
"Take a bath so that you lose your desire for me." He says laughing.
"Asshole!" I slapped his chest once and he just laughed.