I did not listen to what he told me. I will still stand in our conversation. We're still just a sex partner and as long as he doesn't name what he feels for me, I'll hang out with the people I want to be with and no one can stop me — not even him.
I grabbed my waist because it hurt because of what we did ago. We have no choice of place. Everywhere we go, we do "it" and are no longer afraid if someone sees us. As I ponder I played the pen because I felt like time was speeding up and I had nothing more to miss or waste. If there's anything I have to finish, maybe it's the confession. I don't want to be trapped in love that I'm not sure if it's real.
I'll just give myself a month chance, after that, if nothing still happens, I'll go away myself. I will no longer dig my pit just to make him like and love me. I just wanted to confess to him so I knew if I should not expect anything more. Annoyed by the amount of thinking I was a reckoning, I just dropped my face on the table and counted the sheep in my brain. I don't know what else I can do to make Lucas like me. I look desperate.
I got up from my seat. I walked back and forth out of anxiety as to who would enter my room. I thought that if I could convince Lucas that he liked me, I would just use Fernan to see if he always had an angry face. Maybe at that time, he would realize that he wanted me and he just didn't know how to say it.
After three minutes and still, no one came to my door I was irritated. We had to go to the room where the employees would need to be interviewed. I'm waiting for Fernan and Lucas to come in at the same time even though I know that's impossible.
I fix myself and went out to follow the applicants to the room. I haven't seen Fernan and Lucas either, maybe they're busy. As I sat at the table I was starting to get bored because Adams didn’t even have an option of who he would take. I mean, not because they were all good but because for him there was no fit. I know the reason why he acts like this. He was still thinking about Zoe. That's how it is when you're in love. That person will fill your mind until you go crazy.
And I’m afraid that when Adams finds out I’m the reason why Zoe left, I’m afraid he won’t talk to me again. I'm worried he might blame everything on me even though I deserve it.
While I waited because Adams was the only judge, I let go of the pen I was holding because the woman entered. Who would have thought that while I was thinking about her, she would enter the door that I was afraid she would find. She still can't see us because she's busy fixing her clothes. When Adams's eyes met, I could see how his dead eyes came to life that I had not done to him. I felt no pain but fear. What if Zoe says here that I was the reason she left Adams.
She had already started to introduce herself and it didn’t reach my mind what she was saying because my brain just stayed with how I was worried. It was as if my heart was about to burst with fear. I only got myself back on the earth when Tyler said he wanted Zoe as a personal secretary.
To get her out of here, I wanted to do everything I could to keep her from coming back but she quickly resisted what I told her. In the end, I did nothing either. I saw the anger in Adams' eyes that I didn't know what for. Probably because of jealousy. I'll just drown myself in alcohol.
I didn’t go straight to the house, but to the bar. I want to drown myself in alcohol. I did not ask Lucas to drop me off and only ask a taxi to get me here.
****
I was not aware of the time or how many times I had swallowed a glass of whiskey. All I could remember was a man dragging me to the bathroom. Because of my dizziness and weakness, I just let it go but I knew it wasn't Lucas or Adams because of the tightness of its grip.
"Nghh ..." When the man rubbed his tongue on my tongue I couldn't stop moaning. I can't open my eyes because I'm so drowsy but because this man's kiss isn't as hot as Lucas' kiss, I keep him away from me even though I don't have the strength anymore.
When the man didn’t stop kissing me, I heard a loud crash on the floor and screams of the man I thought was kissing me.
"What the fuck, bro?"
I opened my eyes a little to see who it was and my sleeping spirit seemed to wake up when I saw Lucas with his fist raised while kneeling on the man's body to corner it. I think I lost all the alcohol in my body because of what was happening.
I quickly pulled Lucas away because he might kill the man. After all, the terror was obvious in the man's eyes. When I removed his body from his knees, the man quickly stood up and ran. You can see how scared he is because he is almost slippery. When I looked at Lucas he was only looking at me. I thought he would follow the man because he left my grasp but he just locked the door and looked at me as if it was about to penetrate my soul.
"Is this what you want? To hook up with another man?”