BONUS CHAPTER
Life is very unfair and we can't do anything to stop it from being unfair even there's a part that we want to skip because it's really mind-blowing and being strong is the most effective cure to fight for its injustice. All we have to do is to go with the flow.
Life is like a waves and it's scary while the struggles is our boat. We need to use the struggles to keep on sailing if we want to survive.
They said moon is the one who light up our night but for me my own version of moon is the one who light up my life... my world... my universe.
Moon will always be my favorite.
Moon will always be my biggest milestone
Moon will always be my comfort zone
Yoreh Selene is my moon.
She's beautiful every single part. I'm very grateful to call her my moon... my home. Lahat ng mayro'n sa kaniya ay paborito ko. From head to toe... even her moody attitudes. Lahat 'yon ay paborito ko. Maraming sobra sa kaniya pero wala akong makitang kulang. Maybe, that's it? If we love someone we'll look at them like a contented person and very grateful.
All I can say... I was crazy for her at hindi ko ikakahiya na nababaliw ako sa isang katulad niya. I was willing to act like a baby infront of others just to get my Selene's attention. Wala akong pakialam kung minsan ay inaasar ako ng mga kaibigan ko dahil sa sobrang kaclingy ko sa asawa. I don't care.
I believe that expressing what we really feel is not bad. All people have emotions and feelings that should be expressed. A guy expressing his feelings is not being girly or what. It's being a man, not a boy. If you are really inlove you'll get in the point that you will be soft just for the person that you love.
As time goes by, narerealize ko na hindi pala talaga unfair ang love at mundo. It takes time... to find the happy ending that more of us seeking for. So, we all need to wait for the perfect timing... na marealize natin na we're in the position that we want to be.
Not because the thing that we want didn't go as what we want ay icconsinder na natin na unfair ang mundo. I realize na hindi talaga unfair ang mundo because love will always be the answer.
If you started loving someone you will sometimes think that the world is not fair but in other point love will help you realize that with full of love... anything will go back into it's fairness.
Giving and receiving love from someone is not a crime. So we must take all the opportunity to give and receive love. Because love will help us grow and develop. Loving someone is the stepping stone to look forward for something magical. That's why we must learn how to love.
Nowadays, many people are scared of loving someone because of what-ifs that keep on hunting them. I was happy because I'm already done on that stage because right now... I'm not scared anymore and I'm capable of giving love without any hindrance and barriers. She is the woman who serves my heart-opener. She opened my heart to give and receive love with of what-ifs.
Many struggles and errors occured... pero sa kaniya pa rin ako babalik. Sa kaniya ko parin pipiliin manatili. She was good at handling me even many years passed. Siya parin 'yung babaeng kaya ako. Siya parin 'yung babaeng isang sulyap lang sa akin ay napapaamo na ako. No words can explain how lucky I was. To have this kind of moon. To be with this girl.
"Yes, Mommy. Narinig ko 'yung sinabi ni teacher Abby kay teacher Rose. She said na daddy is very handsome and she's wishing na si daddy na lang daw 'yung lagi maghatid sa akin here in school." Malia uttered, her face is very red mukhang nagalit sa teacher niya.
I was looking at my wife and daughter's reaction while playing my lips using my fingers. Umayos ako nang pagkakasandal sa pintuan ng aming kotse at pinagkrus ang aking braso. I was wearing a simple white t-shirt partnered with my cargo short and loafers while Selene is wearing a very simple white dress reason why my eyes felt blessed.
Malia Shannel Lavilla, the little version of me. She's 3 years old and a kinder garten student. Yes, masyado pa siyang bata pero as of now. Saling-pusa muna siya sa klase since she wants this. I don't know why with 3 years old she can speak properly and meaningfully. Kahit ata saang angle ng mukha niya ay mapapakita na anak ko siya. All of our relatives and friends are witness with that. Isang tingin lang nila sa anak ko ay alam na nilang akin 'yon. Well, sorry my honey our baby take over my face than yours.
"Really?! She said that? Hindi dapat gano'n ang asta ng teachers!" Selene annoyed said while looking around.
She's probably looking to my daughter's teachers. I just smiled because of her reaction parang anytime ay p'wede na siya mangalmot ng kapwa niya teacher. They look like bestfriends who's spilling some tea with each other.
"Come on..." I chuckled and held my wife's waist. "Let's stop talking about it---"
"Ano? Masaya ka? May nagkakagusto na naman sa'yo." Galit na sabi ni Selene sa akin bago tapikin ang kamay ko.
Awang ang labi ko siyang tinitigan "W-what? Come on, baby. Umuwi na tayo." Amo ko.
She rolled her eyes and held may daughter's hand and started walking. Kamot ang ulo ko silang sinundan. May iilan na napapatingin sa'kin because I know that I look stupid following these two stubborn babies that I have. Napanguso ako habang tinititigan ang kaniyang likuran at ang kanilang kamay na magkahawak.
"Get inside the car, babies." I said as I held Selene's hand but she glared at me badly so I loosen up.
I massaged my temple. Here we go again. Ganito si Selene kapag naiinis sa akin. I don't know if it's because of her pregnancy or what.
"Nakakainis ka," bintang niya, out of nowhere.
"Why? Ano'ng ginawa ko?" nagtatakang tanong ko.
Napahawak ako sa batok ko nang bigla siyang lumiko at pabalik sa sasakyan namin. I saw how her face crumpled. I tapped Malia's shoulder, asking for help but she just pouted and made puppy eyes. Alright, she can't help me with this. I made puppy eyes to Selene but yeah. I failed again huh. Tumakbo ako nang akma niyang bubukas ang pinto. Kahit hindi ko alam kung bakit siya naiinis sa akin ay nakangiti ko parin silang pinagbuksan ng pinto.
"Mommy and daddy, let's play games at home later." Malia smiled and winked at me.
"Sure..." sabay namin na sabi ni Selene kaya nagkatinginan kami.
Of course, I'm smiling while she's glaring deadly at me. Mukha ako na naman ata ang pinaglilihihan ng maganda kong asawa. I smiled because of that idea.
"Baby, It's not good na makita ni Lia na nag-aaway tayo." Baling ko kay Selene na nasa passenger seat at sinamaan ako ng tingin.
"Magkaaway ba tayo? Oh, sorry I didn't know." She rolled her eyes so I shut up.
Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya iaapproach but yeah napaamo ko na naman siya. Ang hirap talaga kapag buntis ang asawa pero sabagay masaya. Ganito rin siya nung kay Malia at masasabi ko na sobra ang dinanas ko nung mga panahon na 'yon. Hindi siya nakain ng luto ng ibang tao so I need to be awake 24/7 para naman anytime ay maluluto ko ano ang gusto niya. One time pinagluluto niya ako ng lugaw ta's ayaw niya raw ng may sabaw. Kulang nalang ay maiyak ako sa mga pinapaluto niya pero... as I always treasure in my whole soul that I love her. Kahit gaano nakakabaliw, nakakalito, nakakapagod, at nakakataranta ay kinakaya ko because I really love her. For our family, I'm willing to lower my pride. Handa ako na laging umintindi. Maybe because I realize that we're on the parenting stage and kung dati na dedicated ako kay Selene ngayon ay mas naging dedicated ako hindi lang kay Selene kundi sa anak namin at sa magiging anak namin.
I want to be the best dad and husband for them. Gusto ko na mabigay lahat ng pangangailangan at gusto nila. I want to give all the love that they deserve. Gusto ko na mahalin sila sa paraang mararamdaman nila. I want to let them realize na I was willing to give all of myself just to make them happy and contented.
Being a father is a big responsibility. I'm the one who can make my family wonderful. Gusto ko na mahigitan ang kayang ibigay ni Selene sa amin because she deserves it. A girl like her deserves the best and I'm willing give all my best.
"What name do you want?" I looked at Selene when she asked me.
Napanguso ako habang hinihimas ang malaki niyang tyan. Nandito kami ngayon sa balcony ng aming bahay. We are both watching how beautiful moon is.
"Anything you want, baby." I smiled as I kissed her forehead.
She stood up and hugged me. I smiled and chuckled. She was being sweet again for sure later aawayin na naman ako nito.
"How about Zeejan Miguel?" She asked while smiling widely.
Yeah, baby. That's what I like. I'm still addicted to her sweet smile. I still can feel the enjoyment inside me. She still can make me so soft.
"Sure... it's very manly." I answered.
No words can explain how overwhelming to be with this girl. Because of her... I want to be the best version of myself.
"Hindi tama 'yung ginawa mo, Zee. Didn't I told you that don't tease someone? Bullying is a crime!" Selene uttered loudly.
Nandito kami ngayon sa loob ng kwarto ng anak namin na si Zeejan. Pinapagalitan siya ni Selene dahil sinumbong ni Malia ang kapatid niya.
Malia said, Zeejan bullied someone at hindi raw alam ni Lia kung bakit dahil maganda, matalino, at mabait naman daw 'yung babae na binubully ni Zee. Maybe, he likes that girl? or sadyang gusto lang nitong anak namin na mang-away?
"Zeejan Miguel..." napasabunot si Selene sa buhok niya habang tinititigan ang anak namin na lalaki na nakayuko lang.
"Son... it's not good to bully someone." I added as I held Selene's hands, stopping her from hurting herself.
No, baby. You are not allowed to hurt yourself. It's making me annoyed seeing you like that.
"Zj, everyday I'm hearing some gossip regarding that issue. Nabibingi na ako at nahihiya sa mga ginagawa mo sa ibang tao. Some of my classmates are afraid of me. They thought I'll do the same. Our parents didn't teach us those immature attitudes or behavior!" Malia madly said as she stared at her brother.
Zeejan sighed "I just pulled her hair---"
"Sige sumagot ka pa!" Selene shouted.
Napamasahe ako sa aking batok and looked at my son to not open his mouth anymore. Selene is the superior in this house. Kahit ako ay tumitiklop sa kaniya. Kahit nga ata tingnan niya lang ako ng masama sobra na 'yung kaba ko.
"Baby... don't shout na. Baka mastress ka pa," lambing ko sa kaniya bago siya yakapin sa baywang. "Son, tomorrow... apologize to the girl you bullied and stop doing this kind of mess, that can hurt someone. It's not good to you... you are a boy so you must act like it." Pangaral ko sa anak namin.
"You're such a brat, Zj. If you act like that everytime then for sure you will lose friends." Malia added. "Nakakaawa 'yung babae na palagi mong binubully."
"I'm not scared to lose friends," Zeejan fired her sister reason why I close my eyes.
His pride is too high! Kinakabahan din ako, baka kasi bigla siyang mahampas ni Selene. I looked at Selene, alam kong onti na lang ay magwawala na siya sa inis.
"Nakakaawa ka, Zeejan. You have that kind of mindset. So, sinasabi mo na ayos lang mambully ng kapwa mo estudyante? It is fine to hurt someone? It is fine to put some pain to someone? It is fine to scratch someone's heart?" Selene almost cried said. "Nakakaawa ka kasi ang heartless mo," she said as she turned her back and walked away.
Napabuntong hininga ako habang pinagmamasdan ang mga anak kong nakatingin sa pintuan kung saan lumabas si Selene. I know that Selene's word hit my son's mind. Maaring bahagyang natauhan.
"Alam kong malakas kang mangtrip, Zj. Even all the guys in our school are afraid to you because of you too high attitude but please stop it already. Be a good guy!" Malia mumbled.
I took a deep breath "Son, you harm someone. I'll cut your allowance. You're not allowed to use any gadgets. You can't go outside every weekend until I said so. After school hours, umuwi ka agad. No buts... you need to spend time here inside our house and reflect from what you did." I seriously said. Alam kong gusto niyang umalma pero alam ko rin na kinakabahan siya sa sasabihin ko. "Bukas na bukas din ay mag-apologize ka sa babaeng binully mo. Apologize warmly and gently. Apologize not because I said so instead apologize because you want to." I tapped his shoulder while waiting for his response.
"Mabuti nga sa'yo. You know, Dad. I want to punch him earlier but the girl he bullied stopped me. She's too kind!" Malia uttered as she glared at her brother.
"She keeps on glaring at me, Ate!" Zeejan fired back.
"That's natural to her! She has those kinds of intimidating eyes!" Malia explained.
I took a deep breath "Stop fighting, okay? Just be kind and act kindly. Alright, I'll follow your Mom she looks like she was about to burst out," I chuckled reason why they looked away.
Hindi ko kinukunsinti ang anak namin sa mga maling bagay na ginagawa nila. We want them to learn from what they did so they can't do it again.
As time goes by, me and my wife watch our children to grow up. Hindi madali ang magpalaki ng anak dahil we want to make sure that they happy. Gusto namin iparamdam sa kanila ang tunay na pagmamahal na sa amin lang ni Selene nila mararamdaman. I don't want them to feel empty. I don't want them to beg for the love that a parents must give.
"Lets give a around of applause... Mr. Cyrus Elio Lavilla!" The MC shouted.
Pakiramdam ko ay namula ang buong mukha ko nang saktong pagtayo ko sa inuupuan ko ay kumindat sa akin si Selene. Tangina kinikilig parin ako sa kaniya. No words can explain how my heart fluttered. Hanggang ngayon napakadali parin sa kaniya na pakiligin ako! Damn you, Selene!
"Are you ready to the question?" The MC asked as he place the microphone infront of my mouth.
Nandito kami ngayon sa gymnassium ng school ng mga anak namin. There's a family event here so here I am.
"Go on." kamot batok kong sagot at hindi talaga nakawala sa tainga ko ang tawa ni Selene.
She knows me very well and I'm sure that she can feel the embarrassment that enveloped my system right now. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagiging awkward na sa akin kapag halos lahat ay nakatingin sa akin. I felt like one wrong move then I can disgrace our family. Too weird.
"Do you believe in second chance?" the host asked me reason my eyes widened.
"May connect ba ang tanong sa family events na ito?" Kamot-ulo kong tanong dahilan kung bakit nagtawanan ang ilang mga tao.
The MC nodded "As you can see, Mr.Lavilla. Ang iilan na magulang dito ay hindi in good terms at ang iilan naman ay mag-isa lang na sinamahan ang kanilang anak. We want you to share some insight about the given topic." He explained.
I nodded as I looked at the woman who gave me chances "Yes... I believe in second chance. We are humans... we commit mistakes. May mga parte ng buhay natin na pipili tayo ng desisyon at the same time we're blinded with that decision because we thought it's for the better. As I said, we are humans and it's natural to have flaws and mistakes. They said 'All person deserves a second chance' but for second chance also deserves who's deserving. We must give our second chance if we can feel that they deserve it. That's why I believe in second chance especially when you love someone. We give second chance to start over. We give second chance to be healed. We give second chance to correct all the mistakes that have done and I'm thankful because second chance still exist. Without second chance, I'm not here wearing a smile. I'm not here because complete." I stopped and chuckled. "My wife made me believe with second chance because she gave me that. I believe in second chance because without it my heart will be empty."
I was very thankful to have a second chance. I made a decision that I thought will be better. I'm blinded with the decisions I made. Hindi ko alam na nasasaktan ko na pala ang babaeng gusto ko. I was thankful to have a chance to prove that second chance deserves some like... a deserving one.
Kung hindi niya ako binigyan ng chance dati ay hindi kami magkasama ngayon. Without her another chances then we'll not be a happy family. My heart feels happy. My soul feels conplete. My whole being feels like a better version of myself.
I hope some people will not be scared to give someone a second chance even how deep the mark is. But second chance is enough and third, fourth, fifth or more chances are too much. However, second chance is worthless if we commit the same mistakes because second chance must be use not to correct what's gone wrong but also to prove to the someone that you deserve the second chance.
Selene gives me a second chance and without it... I'm a failure and mark as defeated.