Losing my man
Nku and Opula lay in the bed and stared into the ceiling. They had been like that for thirty minutes with absolute quietness dominating their presence. Nku took much interest in his phone, turning his back to Opula and sighing heavily. Opula wondered if she was a well moulded brick that Nku could not feel anything for her. She made sure every of her feline endowment was on point.
Before the arrival of Nku, she had properly applied her Guerlain lipstick and bathed her neck with a moderate spray of Hot Ice body spray. Looking into the mirror with her lips pouted, she had carefully stretched her Brazilian hair and squeezed into a polka dotted bum short with her hips ruggedly pulling out. She wanted to get things right for the first time in her life; she wanted to know what she wasn’t doing right. She had been told about Lagos girls, how they were cutesy, and charmed men to the confines of their skirts, making them to forget their lovers. She grinned hugely at such thought that Lagos girls could snatch her baby N. She knew about a handful of them, if not crowd, that could not stand her beauty. She knew she possessed dimples which dug naturally without any shovel; bust that disobeyed the law of gravity and bum that rolled without restriction. She smiled angrily and thoughtful prepared to take away lives if that would make Nku stick around.
Nku was willing to talk after a while. “Yes, baby, are you going to practice,” he asked, still peering into his phone.
“Yes, unless injustice gives way for justice,” she said, resting her hands on his body to see if she could attack from there.
“Then Lagos is too wild for you. You should have resided in any other place, perhaps, Enugu,” said Nku, shaking off her hands.
“I did not come to Lagos to practice law. I came to unite with my boyfriend, the one that gave me the assignment to love him till death,” she said and kissed his muscular arm and a smudge of lipstick stuck there.
Nku turned around, blankly staring at her. “You sound very ridiculous. I only want the best for you. The walk-on-him get money attitude in Lagos is not good for soft candies like you. You shouldn’t have come.”
She placed her thick laps on his. Nku felt nothing but she felt the customary current of passion. “And now I’m here my beloved anaconda can’t even touch me. Come on, baby, this is unlike you. Where is that zeal in your eyes that humbled my skin, that touch of yours that strengthened my virginity? Why are you avoiding me?” Sheasked, housing a pitiable stare and looking drawn.
Nku pulled his legs from her thick laps. “I am not avoiding you. I am just keeping your virginity for our wedding night. It should be my kola. I am Igbo. We cherish virginity like diamond.”
“I can’t wait anymore!” Opula barked at him, sitting up and her bust bounced uncontrollably. “Come on baby N, when will you take it? When will you collapse this Jericho wall? I can’t wait,” Opula said with an impatient frown and her hands roughly pulled up her Ankara wrapper to unveil beefy thighs which had never been scorched by the sun but Nku resisted the head-turning effect. The hairy thighs of Sen. Madu had so much clouded his mind that he took Opula’s thighs for butchered lumps of pork.
Nku sighed. “Your virginity is not orange juice. Stop preparing it for me. I told you on our wedding night I would collapse it. That very night should certify me before climbing that mountain,” said Nku, smacking his lips as though his words left some oil on it.
Just then the usual pain in his buttocks spiked him and stopped and then recurred hugely this time around. He could feel his buttocks pulling away from his waist. He could not bear it any more so he let out a scream. “Ah!”
“What is that?” Opula asked, holding his waist and staring into his face for prompt reply.
Just like the melting of ice cubes, the pain subsidized and Nku quickly brightened up. He said, “Nothing, just the pains that follow when you stand cooking for some greedy restaurant owner.” He lay freely like a cat.
“It’s a pity but that’s why I’m here. You really need to quit that job and stay with me until I get you a befitting job,” she said, holding his face and imagining his red water melon lips scrubbing through her body. But Nku had changed into a rabbit that disliked its carrots.
“I am a man. You have forgotten in Lagos you got to love your job because if it can’t buy you a house it can buy you bread and beans,” he said.
“So, do you prefer bread and beans to me?” Opula asked, scowling hugely.
“I didn’t say so. I only meant you don’t expect me to quit a job that puts food on my table, stick around you, devouring your virginity and claiming to be the lover of the year. I got dreams; look at my widowed mother, our uncompleted building, my unfulfilled glory and you. These things demand energy. I can’t waste it on virginity. I should be going down with you on the night of our wedding, with a million-dollar bow tie across my neck…” He stopped as he saw Opula wincing for tears. He held her face.
Something was about to happen…