I thought I would never see his face again, but here he is. On a table in the middle of the living room. With shaky legs, Soul and Noah helps me to stand up. Soul holds my arms gently as I walk near the body of my mate. I look down at his face. They had wrapped a bandage over his forehead so than you couldn't see the bullet hole. I felt like I couldn't even breath at this moment. It's so surreal. He's just laying there with his eyes closed as if he was sleeping. A part of me is waiting for him to open his bright eyes and tell me that this was all a part of his plan. But another part of me knows the reality of this situation. He's not going to open his eyes, he's not going to tell me that this was a part of his plan...and he won't be able to watch his son grow into a good man. I put my hand on his chest. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Please make a beat, please let me feel a beat. But I feel nothing. His heart is dead. He's not going to come back.
I lean into him and kiss his forehead, eyes and cheeks. I see bits of water on his face. I didn't even realize that I was crying till I touched my cheeks. With everything I am, I knew that I was saying good bye. My lips start to quiver violently. With a shaky hand I cover my mouth to try and keep in a sob, but I couldn't. There is so much pain in my heart. I feel as if I am being tortured from the inside out. I sob out my pain. I let everyone know that I am not okay. I hold Xander's cold and pale hand as I cry, sob and scream. "Please come back to me Xander," I cry, "Please don't leave me, I need you! You asshole! How dare you leave me!" I scream. I feel Soul come behind me, "Come on Lizzy thats enough. I can't bare to see you in anymore pain."
I look at my mate for the last time. Then I close my eyes and turn away. Soul leads me back into my room. Before a shut the door Soul tells me, "We're gonna send Xander off tonight at midnight, when the moon is at it's highest. It's a tradition for when an Alpha passes, we burn his body at midnight of the full moon."
I nod my head, "Wake me up when you're ready."
He bows his head, "Luna." Then walks away. I close the door. I lean against it and slowly sink to the ground. This is when I really struggle. When I am in my room alone. All of my emotions that I try to block for the whole day rushes back to me. I relive the pain I felt the moment I saw my mate get killed. I get up and had a long hot shower. It was about 10:30 when I get into bed. I lie there and feel alone. Ever since I came home, I have always woken up with me holding Xander's pillow to my face because his scent always chased the nightmares away. I remember whenever I had bad dreams he was always there to hold me. I turn away from Xander's spot and silently cry painful tears. I always hope that I'll fee his strong arms pull me into his broad chest. But I just feel empty and cold. I end up falling asleep to tat thought.
I open my eyes and see the window open, snow and wind was flowing in. I slowly walk towards it. I look out and see scratch marks all over the window cell. I felt a shiver go up my spine, not because of the cold, but because I knew I wasn't alone.
"I'm sorry I took so long coming my love. Some of Noah's guards tried to keep me from you." My heart literally stopped. I turn around and see Matheseus. He walks towards me slowly as if he was stalking me, "I've been waiting patiently for that baby," He then drew out his dagger, "I think it's time for it to come out now."
"SOUL!" I scream.
All he does is laugh, "They're not here, I made sure my men would distract them by killing that sweet little doctor. What was her name again? Mary."
NO! "You bastard!" I growl deeply, "I am going to kill you," I snarled.
"That doesn't sound like a nice Luna."
"I'm not just a Luna anymore...I'm an Alpha." I lung towards him. He didn't actually think I was going to do it, so I took him by surprise. I tackled him to the floor. I straddled his waist andstarted to punch him with everything I had. All my anger, all my pain, I gave it back to him tenfold. "You took EVERYTHING from me!" I yelled, "You son of a bitch!" He pushed me off of him. He tried to punch me int he stomach, trying to hurt my pup, but I dodged it. However, as I dodged it I fell over. I got myself back up quickly before he could kick me. I formed my hand into a tight fist, ready to destroy him. I used all my body weight to swing my arm towards his head, but something has me stopping. I felt this warm liquid running down my body. I slowly look down. At that very moment, time stopped. His dagger was inside my stomach. He stabbed me. A whole bunch of blood was leaking out. "You shouldn't have played with fire kitten." He snarls.
I collapse unto the floor and scream my head off. "NO! MY BABY!" I shrieked. He killed my pup! I hold my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding. But I knew it was no use. My pup is already dead. I heard shouting from downstairs. Matheseus growls in frustration, "I'll be back for you my love. Don't worry." He then jumps out of the window. I see him running into the darkness of the forest in his wolf form.
I look down, I am still bleeding like crazy. I sob as I grabbed a towel to hold against my stomach, "NO! PLEASE NO! PLEASE DON"T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME I BEG OF YOU!!!" I yelled. I look up as if I am looking right at the moon goddess herself and cry "NNOOO PLEASE!!!!"
I wake up in a sweat. I look down and see my stomach is fully intact. There is no matheseus. I curl up in a ball and cry. It felt so real. I suddenly shivered unexpectedly. I lookout and see the window was open, just like my dream. Withshaking hands and weak legs, I bring myself to stand at the window. There was scratch my marks on the window. Just like the dream. My heart was starting beat hard...Just like the dream. Then a deep ancient growl echoes in the room. I am struck with deep fear. I turn around and am met with a giant black wolf. I collapse onto the floor. I was so scared that I couldn't even stand anymore. I look away from it, but it snarls at me as if saying that he wants me to look at him and his glory. I slowly look back at it. It was slightly blurry from the tears. The wolf starts to stalk towards me as if it was gonna attack soon. I start to sob. This is the end...I know it. I close my eyes...waiting for some kind of pain. But instead, I felt the wolf licking my tears away. I open my eyes in confusion. Now that I could see the wolf properly, I was frozen in place. His eyes were so familiar. They were soft and comforting, protecting. "Impossible." Xander? This isn't real. I'm dream. "I have to be dreaming," I whispered.
The wolf laid its giant head on my shoulder. I slowly put my hands around him. I weave my hand through his fur. I press my nose against him and inhale his scent. Xander. I start to sob. "I thought I lost you forever." Suddenly big arms circle around me. I knew that he had shifted. I hold onto him even tighter. I kissed his chest. "Never do that to me again." His hold tightens around me. "Ssshhhh..." he whispers comfortingly. He strokes me hair and rubs my back. I felt whole again. I didn't feel the pain. Then he whispers to me, "Lizzy...wake up."
I open my eyes and see Soul sitting on the bed beside me, "Lizzy wake up. We're starting the ceremony in a couple of minutes. I look at him for a while. Trying to process everything. "Oh" I whispered, "Right...yeah I'll be down in a minute."
he nods, "Okay, I'll be waiting."
He leaves. It was a dream. I really thought that he had come back. It looks like the moon goddess really does hate me. I got out of bed in a haze. I quickly looked at the window. it was closed and locked. I felt the hole in heart get bigger. I walk into the closet and chose to wear a flowing black dress with long flowy sleaves with a black vale. As I was putting it on, I cried. Everything is just building up. I put on a little bit of foundation with concealer to hide my blotchy red skin. After a quick coat of mascara and red lipstick, I went downstairs where Soul escorted me outside and into the clearing.
I see hundreds of our pack a long with other packs who were allies with Xander. Soul nods towards the center of the giant crowd, in front of a pile of wood where Xander was placed.
I walk towards there. Everyone I passed bowed their head towards me and said "Luna."