Sloan's POV
Carter is amazing.
I mean I knew he was amazing before, but now...he's truly amazing. He's so fucking smart too. We started a sign language class that's taught online today. And he is picking it up with ease. Me on the other hand I'm struggling. Very badly.
Carter tried to help me out as much as he could but I could see he was holding back a laugh. But I didn't care, he could laugh at me all he wanted. As long as he's laughing and not crying. We were in session three and at this point, we were supposed to have the alphabet down, and the basics. Now we are learning popular phrases.
Truly, I think the only reason why I have made it this far has been because of pure willpower. To have one way to communicate with my mate. Also knowing that no one else would know how to talk with him made me happy, but also guilty. I should probably tell someone back home soon that Carter is mute now.
I'm just worried about how they'd handle it.
Not well. Not well at all.
If they can't even notice when he is upset, no way in hell would they take the time to learn sign for him. And that in itself breaks my heart for Carter.
'Break?' Carter signed to me. I didn't even notice I was rubbing my hands, they were slightly crampy.
(A.N. Carter signing will look like he is talking but he is not. The one quotation mark indicates a sign. The to " indicate speech. Carry on.)
"No, I'm okay, I can still go," I told him determined. But he just leaned forward and paused the TV. We somehow both migrated to the floor during our time learning but I didn't mind. We also sat close enough to where our legs were touching and the sparks were enough to soothe me.
It still felt like a dream. That we were cuddling, and talking and were around each other without arguing, it didn't feel real, but also at the same time I was relishing in it. I wanted to drown in it and I'd die a happy man.
There was still so much I didn't know, and there was still so much to learn. I knew it would take time for him to open up, and tell me why he left. And why he held so much pain. But until then it was my duty to be here. And just let Carter be himself.
'You're not okay.' He chuckled and a soft smile sat on his face. He grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders. He still had a hoodie on and his durag. He looked so cute like this. And those green eyes...my goddess they get me every time.
"How did you learn so quickly?" I asked him truthfully keeping my eyes attached to his.
'Photogenic memory.' He spelled the words out, seeing as he didn't know the signs and it took a second but I finally understood. And I was fucking shocked.
"You have a photogenic memory? Why didn't I know that?" Carter just chuckled lightly but I couldn't help but notice his eyes went downcast, and sadness was there.
'No one knows.' He sighed and I could see he was fighting something deep in himself. 'No one cares to know.'
How in the hell could Crispin and Dieter go all these years and not know their son had this gift? This just added to my anger of needing my questions answered. Because something's not right here...and I'm going to find out.
"So you're saying you're a secret genius?" That caused a light laugh out of him, and I could feel his mood change. Loren let me know he was proud of me for making our mate feel better. His laugh was music to my ears too. I had never heard him laugh so much, even with Ezra. And here he was doing it so freely with me...I couldn't help but be overcome with joy.
'I'm no genius. I just have a great memory.'
"No, don't downplay it. You're fucking smart. Smarter than me." I told him truthfully. For a second I saw his AdamsIs apple bob up and down, as almost if I made him nervous.
Carter nervous because of me? No way in hell is this my real life right now.
'Shut up.' He told me quickly then shoved my shoulder and stood leaving me on the floor.
I can't ignore the sparks he left on my body. As innocent as it was I was still a man. A man who was in a secluded space with his delicious mate. A man who only dreamt of kissing him Is a million times.
"Are you hungry?" I asked as I stood and I saw him rummaging around in the kitchen. He looked up from the fridge and said yes and I was on my feet within no time. I took immense pleasure in feeding Carter. Especially now that he eats in front of me.
"What do you want? I can make whatever. Or do you want something else from your mom's cookbook?" I was hesitant to ask the question, only because I knew it was a hard topic for him. I didn't know much about his mom, but I assume he didn't either. Which can be a hard thing to admit.
'You need to sign while you speak. To learn.' Carter told me as he leaned against the fridge watching me. I had to resist the urge to go to him and touch him in some way like we had been. This distance between us was killing me.
"Yes sir," I said and I signed at the same time. But he was right, I needed to learn. I wanted to learn, hell it was my idea.
'My mom's book is fine. Thank you.'
I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Him being so...nice. But there was this nagging feeling that I had. That this niceness wasn't a new Carter, no. This niceness was Carter and always has been. And I am just now being blessed with the opportunity to see it.
"I'm thinking lasagna." I set the cookbook down once I found the recipe and began to get all the ingredients out.
Carter sat at the barstools and watched intensely. He always did and it made my heart jump. Sometimes I would flex my arms just a bit to see if he noticed. I never could tell though. I had no idea if Carter was attracted to me or not. I would think he was because of the mate bond, but that doesn't ease me in any way.
Of course, I'll never say this to him, I don't want to add more stress to him. But I would like to know if I was something he liked looking at. Or I don't know, saw some kind of future with. I see a future with Carter. I see more than a future with Carter. I see the afterlife with Carter.
I knew I was in love with him the moment I was able to understand what love was. And that was before I knew all the ins and outs of him. And here I am learning about him and my love for him is growing deeper. And I don't even know that much yet. I can't imagine how I'd feel once I do know everything about him.
There was a soft slap on the counter and I knew it was Carter trying to get my attention seeing as my back was towards him. I turned quickly and he looked...almost worried.
'You're thinking a lot.' He said with a raised eyebrow. He was still completely wrapped up in the car blanket. He looked so adorable. 'Share.'
"Maybe one day," I told him and signed back.
Even though I was happy Carter and I were making progress, it still wasn't a lot. Sure we cuddle on the couch but that's all that's changed really. We talk...but we don't talk. At least not yet anyway. And I'm scared to be the first and do it too soon and scare him off.
'Did you just tell me no?' Carter asked with confusion written all over his face. I chuckled lightly knowing that me saying no must be a big change for him. If there's one thing Carter can be sure of is that I'll never deny him anything. But this...telling him I loved him... that I'd have to deny.
"I did," I smirked and began cooking the meat which required me to turn my back to him. I heard him scramble to his feet to come to my side so we could still talk.
'You've never told me no. I did not think you could.' That caused a deep laugh out of me, and a soft smile sat on Carter's face.
"There are a lot of things you don't know about me." I meant for it to come out light-hearted. But there was a heavy deep meaning behind it. Carter caught on and his face fell slightly. Loren was growling, telling me that I needed to apologize for making him uncomfortable.
'You're right.' Well, that was unexpected. 'I'm sorry.' His eyes held a down cast and it angered me to some degree. He kept apologizing for shit he didn't need to apologize for especially when it came to me.
"Why are you sorry?" I asked as I continued to work on making our dinner. Carter shrugged and leaned against the counter. He was much shorter than me, but it was because I was basically a giant.
'I'm an asshole. Always have been.' I scoffed at him and that caught his attention once more.
"Call yourself an asshole one more time and see what I do." My voice came out deep and thick. I hated that he talked so badly about himself and when I looked into his eyes I could see he meant it. He truly thought he was an asshole, which is insane to me.
'I am an as--'
Before he could finish his sentence I grabbed his hands in mine and clutched them together. But that wasn't enough for me. I pulled him flushed to my body chest to chest. He was straining his neck back to look up at me and his eyes were wide in surprise.
We had been close before, but this was different. Much different. His green eyes bored deep into my hazel ones and he sucked in a breath. He must see how serious I am. I noticed how his breathing changed. It was heavy and loud. It pounded in my ears. I held his hands tightly in one of mine and I rested my other on the counter beside us. Though I wanted to grip his side, I knew that would be too much for him. His eyes were moving between both of mine and I had to fight off a smirk.
"I told you what would happen if you said that again didn't I?" I made sure to ask a yes or no question, seeing as I had his hands pinned in mine. He swallowed and I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. I suddenly got a strange urge to lean down and lick it. But I didn't.
I was already overwhelmed with the electricity that was between us just from our hands touching. It was running up and down my arm most beautifully. It was igniting a deep fire in me. Something that I hadn't felt for anyone before. Not even Z.
Carter nodded slowly and his lips parted as he ran his tongue across them. The action as innocent as it was shot right to my dick and made it jump in my sweats. I need to calm down. I need to fucking calm down, right now. Carter wasn't ready for that. He wasn't ready for all I wanted to give him.
"Don't say it again." My voice was breathless and my eyes were glued to his lips. They were right fucking there. Ready for the taking. But I knew Carter was not quite willing yet. Carter nodded again and I used every ounce of strength I had to pull away from him and let him go.
The tension is now thick and heavy around us. And I'm sure if Carter took a deep breath he would smell my slight arousal. He stayed there leaning against the counter and I could see many thoughts swirling in his head but I wasn't going to ask. I was too scared to. His gaze was intense and heavy, and it made it extremely hard to focus on cooking. Especially seeing that my dick was now wanting to come to attention in a way it never had before.
"Go sit and turn on a movie. You're distracting me." I meant the words to come out playful but there was a heaviness in my tone that I didn't mean to be there. But Carter nodded and looked one last time at me before scrambling and leaving me.
I found myself gripping the countertop to get some control of my body. I had no clue why I was so tempted at the moment. And why I was now heavy with lust. I loved Carter, I did. And I've always known he was the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. But this was a different and deeper level of attraction.
When I had him in my hands I wanted nothing more than to rip his clothes off and explore his strong body. I wanted to lick and grope and rub all his sensitive parts. I wanted to see what his face looked like flooded with pleasure. I wanted to know how sweet he tasted. Would he like it rough and quick? Or soft and long? I wanted to make him cum so much he got lightheaded and fell asleep right after.
I wanted to bite down hard on his lips and suck. I wanted to make them swollen and bruised so he was reminded of who did it to him. I wanted to drive him crazy so much so he begged me. Fuck. I wanted him to beg for me. Get on his knees and bend over. Open himself to me. In a way, he's never had before. And he never will to anyone else again.
Yeah, this shit is not helping my very hard problem hanging between my legs.
Focus, Sloan. Focus.
One day, I'll be able to. But that day is far from now. So until then, get I need my dick and thoughts to get under control.
Goddess help me.
________________________________________________________________________________
Things are getting spicy! HEHEHEH! Or at least for baby daddy Sloan. Also don't you just love him? I told you, you guys would. He is literally the best. He's getting Carter to kind of open up and show himself. His REAL self.
I love Sloan. And I love Carter. Plus I'm giving you guys happy for a couple of chapters because I love ya'll. LOL.
Let me know what you think as always!