Carter's POV
It smelled like cum.
At first, I thought I was imagining it and I was smelling myself. Seeing as what Sloan had said in the shop had affected me in a way he's never affected me before. I sat there stiff and aching under my jeans and I was leaking profusely into my boxers. And he hasn't even touched me yet.
I was sure I was smelling myself until I started looking around the surroundings of his car. Sloan looked slightly flushed, and he looked a bit more relaxed. There was a new air freshener in the middle of the car. And when I walked over here the car windows were down... it's way too cold for that.
Which only leaves one thing.
He jacked off.
I should be grossed out. I should feel...violated. But I don't. Far from it actually. I brought this big Tiger to his knees so much so he lost control. He couldn't wait. My only annoyance was that I wasn't here to see it happening. That in itself was something I'd never thought I'd say. But here I am saying it.
I tried not to make it known that I could smell what he had just done, and I think he was grateful for it. He carried on in our conversation as if nothing happened. He was chatting away, talking about something Ambrose and Eliezer did when they were kids.
Getting the phone was the easy part. Setting up my Apple ID was easy too. However the bummer was that I couldn't get a new number. If I did, I'd have to get a new Apple ID and I'd lose all my contacts and pictures. So I reluctantly agreed to my old number and Sloan took it upon himself to delete and block Crispin, Dieter, and Sean's numbers from my phone until I was ready to face the music. I didn't even ask him. He just did it.
He's amazing.
I sent out the same text to everyone in my contacts list and I turned my phone on silent. Knowing it was going to blow up and I wasn't ready for that quite yet. I also made sure to go through and delete the numbers of my ex-flings. Knowing I'd never need to speak to them again.
We went to the grocery store quickly to get dinner for Anut Danielle and Rena tonight. Sloan wanted to make some Italian dish and I of course didn't oblige. He could cook whatever he wanted. I'd eat it.
'Have you seen the notebook?' I sighed at him asking. I knew Aunt Rena and Danielle didn't know sign, so I knew I'd have to write to them to have a conversation. I just hope they take my newfound muteness okay. They'd be willing to learn, but I of course don't expect them to.
"I think it's in your room still. On the bed." Sloan said as he unpacked the groceries.
I nodded but I stood firmly in the dining room. I was filled with nerves in seeing them after all this time. And I can't but feel like they'd hate the fact I don't talk anymore. Would they think I was broken? Would they try and fix me?
I felt strong hands wrap around mine and before me stood Sloan. His hands were rough compared to mine but I loved it. It matched him. He pulled my hands away from each other and held them in his.
"Stop worrying. It's going to be okay." I believed him. I found that I believed anything and everything Sloan told me. I trusted him fully and that in itself was weird for me to say.
"Rena and Danielle aren't your dads. They are going to listen, understand, and want to know you. They love you. You know this. I know this. If they didn't I wouldn't let them come over." Even though there was a slight teasing tone to his words, I could feel that he was serious. It was floating in our bond, that he would do anything for me.
As I stared up at him my eyes flickered from his to his lips. We've had many moments like this. Close together and our lips inches apart. But neither of us moved. And after doing some thinking and knowing who Sloan is. I don't think He would make the first move, no matter how badly I might want him to. I had to do it. To show him it was okay. Touching me was okay.
Sloan's breathing labored and his eyes were firmly planted on my lips. It was now or never. Our guests would be here any second and I wanted this. I needed this. Before I knew it, I was feeling myself move forward and my lips hovered over Sloan giving a phantom touch. I was about to pull away, too afraid to be rejected. But then Sloan closed the gap. Crashing his firm lips onto mine.
The sparks flooded my face and almost numbed my mouth with how strong they were. Sloan moved his hands from mine and firmly gripped my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck. And he pulled me closer and our chests were flushed together.
The kiss wasn't slow and sweet, and I wasn't expecting that either. It was heavy and heated. I gave Sloan dominance the moment his tongue invaded my mouth. He tasted masculine and overwhelming. The kiss was nasty and out of control. But in the best way possible. He nipped and licked at my lips and it was causing my knees to shake as I let him do whatever he wanted to do to me.
His hands were gripping my waist firmly, almost painful, but in a good way. He didn't want to let me go, and I didn't want to. I ran my nails down the back of his head and Sloan growled lowly at the action. The sound shot right to my dick and it began to twitch against his thigh. He slowly moved his hands down and they were planted firmly on my ass. No one's ever touched me here before. I love it.
He squeezed roughly and it made me push my hips forward against his. I was drowning in the feeling of his lips on mine. Of being taken instead of doing the taking and I loved it. I didn't know how much I needed it. How I craved it. Then he pulled his hand away from me and for a second I was confused until I felt a sharp sting against my ass and a loud moan slipped from my lips.
Sloan smacked my ass. And I just moaned. Very fucking loudly. The first noise I'd made other than laughing. Well, my first moan ever. Sloan pulled back and he looked down at me and what I said made me want to drop to my knees. The way he had this feral look in his eyes, he was so undone. Undone by me. His lips were swollen and bright red. Because of me.
I never thought I'd see Sloan like this. But my goddess am I happy that I do. He's never looked as good as he does now. Before I could properly process, Sloan's giant hand was wrapped around my neck and I was being pushed into the wall behind us. He squeezed gently but I wish it was more. Just a little bit more.
He leaned his head down and began to nip at my ear and pushed my head to the side, exposing some of my neck to him.
"So you do like it rough?" He whispered in my ear and it sent a shiver down my spine. He leaned closer and licked up the side of my neck and the vein that was there. A whimper escaped me and I was gripping onto his sweater, borderline tearing it if I wanted to. Sloan let out a soft hum in approval as the sounds flew out my mouth. Which was giving me my identity crisis.
He finally stood up and we made eye contact yet again. Though I can only imagine what I looked like. A giant mess probably. We both stood there panting, catching our breath. Waiting for something to happen. But just as he was about to press his lips against me yet again. There was a ringing at the front door.
Now I was very much regretting inviting them over to dinner.
Sloan slowly pulled himself off of me and I was left feeling oddly cold and exposed.
"We will finish this later." He said quickly before turning, fixing his clothes, and walking to the door. Later? Finish? Where are we not done? What else would happen? Oh, goddess.
I followed the ensuite and also made sure to fix my clothes. Sloan rested his hand on the doorknob, took a deep breath, and then pulled the door open. Aunt Rena and Danielle had giant smile on their faces as they looked at Sloan and then their eyes trailed to me.
Aunt Rena pushed Sloan out of the way to get to me and pulled me into a hug. It was filled with emotions and I could feel mine coming to the forefront. Being in Rena's arms felt like home. It was home. I was safe with her. Aunt Dani walked over and joined in our hug, wrapping her arms around the both of us.
We sat there for a moment just in each other's embrace. I could hear Aunt Rena's sniffles in my ear and Dani sighed in contentment. Sloan stood at the door smiling and watching. We finally pulled away and Aunt Rena grabbed my hand firmly in hers.
"Look at my handsome boy." She smiled widely and pressed her hand cup my cheek.
I looked over to Sloan and gave him a look to come over to tell them we would be going upstairs to talk. Well, me write and their talk.
"You guys can talk up in our room. I'll stay down here, and get dinner started. And make some much-needed phone calls." Our room. We don't even sleep in there and yet it sounded right.
Aunt Rena and Danielle began walking to the steps and I followed behind but not before turning to Sloan one last time. This was the longest we'd go separated from each other. And I don't know if I like that. I was used to him always looming about, and even though we were in the same place, we weren't in each other's space.
I knew I needed to have this talk on my own. But I didn't want to be away from Sloan for so long.
'I'll be right here. I promise.' He signed and smiled at me. He leaned against the kitchen counter. But I think he stood at such a distance because he was feeling the same. Us being separated for the first time. It was going to be hard on both of us.
'I'll be quick.' I signed back and he chuckled lightly.
'Take your time, lightening. I'll be down here calling the fam.' I slightly pouted. I didn't want to take my time. I wanted to be up under Sloan at all times.
'I'll be quick.' I signed and then ran up the stairs before he could say anything else.
Aunt Rena and Danielle were already in the room sitting on the bed waiting for me. There in the middle was the notebook and pen and I reluctantly closed the door behind me. Which put more space between Sloan and I.
I sat at the head of the bed and leaned against the headboard. Rena and Dani's eyes were glued to me as I got comfortable but their smiles were big and warm.
"You look...so happy Carter," Rena said as she leaned forward and rubbed my hand.
"Sloan told us about how you've learned sign--to communicate. Rena and I have been learning. We don't know much, but we will keep practicing." Dani spoke and my heart was warmed by their words. And of course at Sloan. Going above and beyond as usual. I opened the notebook and began writing, trying to ignore the very odd feelings that were arising towards Sloan.
'Thanks for learning. It means a lot.' I wrote and showed them.
"Carter, no need to say thank you. You do know we'd do anything for you, right?" Rena leaned forward and she bore her eyes deep into mine.
'I know, I know that now. Sloan has helped me to see.' Which was true. Being here with Sloan has helped me understand myself and the ones around me. I'm forever grateful for him.
"Yes...Sloan. You two have seemed to be getting along well." Rena said with a soft smirk on her face.
"So you two are good then? Making him stay was a good idea?" Dani asked and I nodded quickly.
'Yeah, it was. I'm happy you made him.' That was nothing but the truth. I can't imagine what life would have been like these past weeks if Sloan wasn't here. And I don't want to. I don't want to imagine Sloan not being around at all. Even just thinking about it hurts me in ways I've never been hurt before.
I didn't even notice it until now but Sloan had become...everything.
"Well, I'm happy for you. So happy. You deserve the best and from what I can tell he is." Dani said, her words holding a lot of weight.
"Carter I-- I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Crispin not being your biological father. I didn't feel that was my place and I thought maybe those two idiots would have the decency to tell you." Rena began talking and I noticed her anger began to leak out of her. I don't know what happened between her and Crispin, but it was something. They used to be so close when I was younger, but now they barely speak.
"If I had known that they couldn't even do that one thing right...I would have done things completely differently and I am sorry." Rena's eyes were watering at this point, she looked at me like she was ashamed of herself. For putting me in a position to be hurt.
'What happened between you guys?' I asked, letting curiosity get the best of me.
"Do you know anything about a sacrifice?" Dani asked and I looked at her confused. Which must have irritated Rena because she let out a deep groan and rolled her eyes.
"Of course, they didn't tell you. Honestly, you were better off with us. I should have just kept you." She muttered the last part under her breath but I caught it. And I found myself not being able to disagree with her. But then I think if I had lived here with her I wouldn't have known Sloan the way I do now. And there is no reality in which I would want that.
"There is this thing called a sacrifice that has plagued our family for some years now. It's a consequence we received in order to be the strongest pack in the country. There's nothing we can do to ignore or change it, and it's different for every Romanoff and their mated pair. My grandparents lost their family. My parents were unable to have the many children they desired. Dieter thought him was being mateless. That was until he met your father."
"Then as time went on, Dieter began to notice a change in how Crispin interacted with you. And it confirmed his suspicions. That his sacrifice was watching you and Crispin's relationship break, and Crispin resenting him for having a better relationship with you than him."
"Of course, Dieter being the man he is, decided that he didn't want Crispin to suffer alone so he stopped trying to build a relationship with you."
I sat there staring at their faces. Many things came to mind and I had no idea how to feel at this new information. So it wasn't Crispin's doing but a curse...and Dieter wasn't affected my this curse fully but still decided to choose Crispin over me.
'Why didn't I know about this sacrifice? Am I not a part of the family?' Even as I wrote the words I already knew the answer. Technically, I wasn't any of their blood. I was a stranger in their home.
"I think they thought because you weren't of Dieter's blood, you wouldn't have one. But if you are going to be the alpha of the pack...then I think it's time to consider you might."
'And this curse can be anything?' I asked quickly. My mind immediately jumped to Sloan. Would losing Sloan be my curse? I'd die before I'd let that happen.
"Yes...but--"
'Then I'm not going to be their Alpha. Sean can have it. I won't risk losing anything.' Rena and Danielle's eyes went wide. Giving up my position isn't an easy decision and I recognize that. Especially seeing as I do have alpha blood in me somehow. I don't know how, but I do. But I didn't care about a stupid title. I cared about myself. And I was finally getting to a good place.
"Carter this--you can't give up your title."
'I can and will. And if that means I have to go tell it to their faces then I will. But I'm not risking Sloan.' I made a motion to represent 'final' and they both nodded their head. I wasn't arguing this any longer.
I was finally at a place where I was starting to understand and love myself. And that was all because of Sloan. Sloan has saved me from a miserable and dark life. And in no way in hell would ever put myself in a place to lose that. To lose him.
"Okay, I hear you. I didn't realize you two had gotten so close." Dani said offering a small smile.
'He's my mate, but more than that. I can't explain it.' I signed and I realized that they couldn't understand what I said. But I'm kind of happy they couldn't. Part of me liked that he was the only one that knew what I was saying. Like our own language. It felt special.
I should be upset at the fact there was some curse on the family that I didn't know about. I should be upset that Dieter chose Crispin over me, and he let him. I should be upset about a lot of things. But right now, my only focus is on Sloan. Losing him...
I never thought I'd be in this position again with someone. Trusting them, leaning on them...loving them. And here I was experiencing all of those things towards Sloan.
"Do you have any questions? Anything you'd like to know about the sacrifice? About Crispin?" Rena asked me, pulling me from my thoughts. There was only one thing I wanted to know, one thing that would put me even more at ease.
'Who's my father?' Rena sighed deeply and began twirling her hair in her fingers.
"Your father is actually Crispin's father. Technically, you're brothers."
Holy, fucking, fuck fuck. What did she just say?
"Before you freak out, let me explain. You know our pack was very small and we were dying out. And some sacrifices had to be made to continue to grow. Some of them being mated males had to sleep with unmated females to produce more children. Your father was the alpha and he knew it wouldn't be fair to expect his pack and him not to participate. So he met your mom and they got pregnant with you."
"Crispin was only 20 at the time when your father passed away. He wasn't planning on raising a child, but he was happy to have a brother. That was until your mom passed away too and it was either Crispin's care for you or you put up for adoption in the human world. So, he took you in and raised you as his own."
Rena finished and I sat in silence. I felt as if my head was about to explode from all this new information put on me. I felt like the world was caving in and everything I knew was being ripped from beneath me. My entire identity was gone and there was no way to get it back.
"C--carter? What's going on?" I felt my breathing speeding up and my chest began to ache. My head pounding from the memories that were trying to resurface. All this time...we were brothers?
"Carter?"
An all too familiar darkness was creeping its way in. I thought I had escaped it, and found the light. Perhaps I wasn't as far from it as I thought. Was it going to swallow me whole again? Was I going to let it?
'Tatty, please.' I called to him, needing him to front for me. Just for a bit. Knowing he would.
'Not this time, Carter. You know who you need.'
The words were confusing at first. I didn't quite understand what he meant by that. All I knew was that the darkness was near and inching close by the second.
'You need Sloan. Get Sloan, kid.' Worry was laced in Tatty's tone as he paced. He was right. I needed him. He was the one constant thing I had. He was real. He would ground me.
'Sloan, I need Sloan.' I signed to Rena and Danielle.
Unable to pick up the pen and write. I hoped that they would recognize something. Or just assume that Sloan was what I wanted.
"I'm sorry I don't understand." Rena leaned forward and placed her hand on my leg but it burned and it felt like fire. I pulled away from her as tears started to pour from my eyes. "Okay, okay. I won't touch you. I j--just don't know what you need."
There was only one way for Sloan to know I was in distress. I'd have to tell them that's who I needed. I was hoping that the mate bond would be strong enough to show him what I was feeling. But he could assume it's just because of the talk not because of anything else. And knowing him, he wouldn't barge in here. He's a gentleman.
My gentlemen.
I needed him.
He'd stop the darkness from coming in. He'd stop me from falling into the pit within myself. I need--
"Sloan." I croaked out. My throat itching and it felt like my head was going to explode just from speaking after so long. It was like my skin was being ripped off, and with each symbol, it was even more painful as I said; "I need Sloan."
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This chapter is almost 4000 words long. INSANE.
Okay....so a lot of things happened in this chapter. But let's talk about it.
First, THEY KISSED! And it was hot and steamy and perfect. What did you guys think about it? Sloan is so dominant it makes me crazy. In a good way. I know you're probably like...? That kiss was initiated by Carter and it was intense. Well...yes. THE BUILD-UP PEOPLE!
Then we had Rena and Danielle I love them. They truly care for Carter in a way that parents should.
Finally, we have the last bit, Carter talked...but no he will not go back to talking in the next chapter. It was just for now to express what he needed. But still very sweet.
Also, did you peep that Carter basically admitted he was in love with Sloan but he doesn't know it? HEHEHEHEH!!!
Let me know your thoughts.