What difference will an extra guy make?
I thought my dignity was already stomped on and none existent but Dakota just made me go through that hurt again. But at the same time, that statement took the wind out of my sail.
What was I so angry about? Why fight so hard? Did it really matter anymore, how many guys I slept with? If I start sleeping with multiple guys, wouldn't it be what everyone in my family was already doing? Why do I have to fight so hard to be different? Since I could cheat with one guy, what difference would cheating with one more make? And who even cares? Not Dad, not Mum. Not even Riley would care. The bastard sold me out years ago.
"You don't have to listen to him. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I will figure something out." Sylvester approached me from behind, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight. "As long as you stay with me, I can risk it. I can risk anything. Don't listen to him." He continued.
I felt like laughing. Stay by his side. As what? A faithful cheat? Like Mum stayed with Uncle Ron? I was dead sure he wasn't the only one she was sleeping with so why should I settle for just one man too? I extracted myself from Sylvester's arms and sat on the three seaters, took the bottle of liquor to my mouth and went for a long swing. The sudden burn on my throat woke me up as I quickly dropped the bottle and started coughing profusely. I felt myself tearing up involuntarily. Since there was no stopping it as my throat was on fire, I released all my pent up anger and sadness into that cry.
Sylvester quickly sat by my side and scooped me in his arms while I wept. With Dakota watching over our heads like that, I was too self conscious to cry for long. I soon gathered myself together then wriggled myself out of Sylvester's arms. He didn't understand and kept watching with eyes that seemed to be asking 'What did I do wrong? Or what should I do?' I avoided looking at him and tried again with the liquor. This time around, I took just a sip.
"One of you should teach me how to smoke " I suddenly said out of nowhere, shocking the two of them.
"Cigarettes or cigars?" Dakota asked with a chuckle.
"I really hate the sound of your voice." I replied to him, making him chuckle more.
I ignored him and picked up one of the medical zip bags on the table. There were like four of them with tiny pills of different colors.
"How much of this is safe to use?"
"Yes!" Dakota giggled behind us then joined us on the three seaters settling on the other side.
"One is okay for now." He continued.
"Catty, what are you trying to do?" Sylvester stared at me worriedly.
"I am joining in the fun." I replied before placing the pill on my tongue, planning to spit it out if it was bitter or tasted horrible.
I watched Dakota as he finished his drink and refilled his glass cup. It seems to me that sipping from the cup is more convenient than using the bottle. Maybe I should go get my own cup…? Then I felt him tap my arm. I turned to him and he placed the cup in my hand. He had turned towards me on the chair and when I looked towards him, I was faced with his popular and well appreciated casanova aura. The one that made all the girls go mad. He had turned on his charm and just like every girl, I was captivated. But unlike them, I also have immunity to this charm. I have fought it off several times so breaking out of the daze his alluring eyes threw me into was a matter of seconds.
"Your charms don't work on me pervert." I gently hit him with the glass cup on his forehead. Then reclined my body on Sylvester's shoulder since he was sitting beside me. I instantly feel his taint body relax. He turned his body toward me and slipped his hand around my waist, holding le to himself.
I signed with contentment. I could stay like that forever…
Dakota rolled his eyes at me.
"You are no fun." He smirked then turned serious in the same breath, catching me off guard. "So what do you say?"
"Babe, don't. He just wants to be able to boast that he already slept with all the three belles of Arizona." Sylvester interjected, sounding worried and angry.
"What does it matter?" I asked and instantly felt him stiffening up. I sat up and turned to face him. What I saw made me feel slightly guilty but I ignored the feeling. Actually I didn't even mean to say that. I just accidently spoke out my thoughts. But that remark had made Sylvester's face grimaced as if someone hit him.
"It matters to me. I love you. I don't want to share you with anyone. Catty please. I don't want you to do these things."
I signed and took a large sip of the liquor. It burned my throat but I endured it. I wanted to laugh at Sylvester's words though. Just like everyone, he was trying to tell me what to do and what not to do. And what does he mean by that first sentence?...
"Is that true?" I turned to Dakota, pushing down my thoughts again.
"I will make an exception with you." He picked up a strain of my hair and started playing with it, turning his charms on me again.
"Nice try." I slapped off his hand. "If you tell anyone I slept with you, I will kill you. Do you believe that?" I asked, squinting my eyes at him. I could feel myself getting drunk but also very relaxed. It was a good feeling.
Dakota's eyes brightened up. "Is that a yes?!"
"Baby please I don't want to share you with anyone." Sylvester tugged at me again.
That annoying sentence again…
"Why?" I asked, feeling confused.
"Because I love you." He also turned on his charms and it worked like lightning. Looking into his eyes and seeing how much he really cared. Knowing that he truly cared made my arousal heavier and it made thinking harder. Without thinking, I leaned forward and kissed him. He tried to get me into his arms to deepen the kiss but I gently pushed him away. "I told you not to say you love me again, Sylvester. We can never be more than clients." I whispered softly looking into his eyes.
I could see that my words hurt him but it's the truth. I have been wanting to tell him that for a couple of days now but couldn't bear to hurt him like that so each time he told me he loved me, I always kept shut and allowed the moment to go. But right at that moment, I felt relaxed, free and powerful. But the way he kept saying he loved me made me have feelings I didn't want to have, so I needed to stop him before he ruined the night. My buried thoughts came out effortlessly, setting me free.
"Catty…"
"Come to think of it…," I cut him off. "Dakota and I are your clients. You have slept with him and many others. But you don't want to share with me. How is that fair?"
Dakota, who had been focused on smoking since I rejected him, suddenly turned to us excitedly.
"Does that mean you will do it?"
"No. Why will I risk a cheap rat like you? You are probably an infection breeding ground." I snorted.
"Wait, you are worried I will give you an infection but sleep with a gigolo without protection. How does that make sense?" He asked, looking perplexed.
Well that was true…
"How would you know? Who told you we don't use protection" Sylvester chipped in, sounding upset and frustrated. He was yet to recover from what I said to him previously.
"Because I saw you with my own eyes. Would have recorded it but the tent was too dark." Dakota smirked.
There was total silence for a bit.
How did he know to go to that place and watch us?, Was the question that popped into my head. I turned to Sylvester and he was looking as shocked as I. We thought that place was safe. It was supposed to be.
"Did you tell him?" I asked in a restrained voice. I just couldn't find a place in my heart to accept that someone watched me while I was having sex. It was so demeaning.