Ester, I am trusting the fate which brought me close to you, it shall be my guide from now on. We'll see whether it's gonna take us to the depths of hell or give rise to our salvation.
"Hmm... we came to the rooftop.. now what?" Ester asked coldly. I sighed and leaned on the railing, "How should I make you trust me?" I asked.
"I don't know..." She shrugged. I looked at her in disbelief, utterly baffled by her reaction. "What do you mean by this?" I asked, getting irritated. "I meant what I said." She replied casually.
"Don't give me your delusions." I scoffed, looking away. She gasped when she heard it, "I am not delusional anymore." She argued.
"Then why are you forcing it upon me after you told me yourself that it was not my fault!?" I said exasperatedly. "You know it!" She shouted at me. I opened my mouth to reply but closed it and looked down, "I don't know... what to do. It's lonely without you." I whispered sadly, looking at my hands.
"Desmond." Ester called me sternly and stood in front of me. She put her hand over mine and whispered, "Please..."
"I am trying. I.. don't want to leave you." I spoke in a barely audible tone as my heart broke. A tear stung in my eyes, my mind couldn't help but grief about the situation. My sorrows drowned me in the vast ocean of insecurities.
"I am not leaving you. I only want proof of your innocence." She said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze but I yanked my hand away.
"How am I supposed to do it?! I cannot force myself to love anyone. That was her fault she took her life, I didn't kill her. Please understand." I said desperately as a tear rolled down my cheek.
My chest tightened, I could feel the havoc in my soul, taking me to the abyss with no hopes because my salvation is neglecting me.
"What Henry told you that now you are taking his side?" I asked, holding her shoulders.
"How can you believe him after he lied about Grace's pregnancy. He is playing dirty and you are doing what he wants. Why are you not understanding this simple thing?"
She put her hands over mine and lowered her head. I looked at her hopelessly, panting, wanting her to forgive me and understand the simple thing which took me decades to apprehend that someone's suicide is not my fault.
When she is the one who engraved this in my mind, why is she disregarding it now?
"I need time Desmond... To do what I should. Please..."
When she whispered it in a croaked voice, I quickly let go of her and moved away. The interlude from my redemption turned me ignorant of my own self.
I lost the track of my path, the puzzle is all mixed up now because of my stupid emotions which ruined everything.
Heart was attracted to one purpose; to get her back that's why I couldn't focus on other things and as she said she needed time-
I know I do as well.. to do what I should. I don't have time to cry over the past or my ravage, I need to make things right and find a way to end this.
I quickly backed away from her and looked at her icily. I am sorry. I gave her an emotionless look, raised my head high and spoke in a voice devoid of any emotion,
"Fine then, Ester. Take your time. But remember I won't stop until I break your delusions right under my feet." My voice turned angry with each word I spoke.
"You are not getting it, Desmond. I-" I cut her off.
"Ester, focus on what you should do. We will meet again." I said coldly and walked away.
I don't want to but we have to.
After spending quite a while thinking about what I should do to bring Henry down, not to bring Ester back.
The answer I was able to come up with after thinking and spending two straight days was to start things over. Watch every little detail and find what's more to it.
Why did Henry put the blame over me? Of all people, me. There could be many reasons. For now, I shall gather information, I will stay in the shadows.
I won't make moves, I let others make moves for me and break Henry, for that I have put Emily on my side and now I will gain Tamara's trust as well.
But, Before that I need to make my roots strong first. Any person who can become a hindrance, I need to make its presence firm on my side. Any person Henry can manipulate like Ester to break me, I will tell them what I kept secret for all this time. I need to do things his way to win against him.
I am a cigarette which will burn you internally.
I have to start by Ester's parents. I called Mr Willows and asked him to meet me alone. Since no one knows Ester came home for what reason, they thought she came because she was missing them.
Their support is important for me , they can talk in my favor and Ester will surely listen to them more than my meaningless pleas.
Me and Mr Willows were having lunch and he asked, "So what do you want to talk about?"
I took a deep breath and replied, "I want to ask you a question Mr Willows." He nodded,
"Okay..." I lowered my head and asked in a low voice, "If someone loves me dearly but I don't and make it clear that I don't love her and take her life because of it... would it be my fault?"
He looked at me with a glint of astonishment for about a minute, trying to register my words and thinking of an answer. He gathered his thoughts and finally replied after a prolonged silence.
"No... it won't be your fault. You cannot force yourself to love anyone. Taking its own life for whatever reason is nothing but a pathetic excuse." He explained.
"Then why don't Ester understand her death is not my fault!?" I said aggravated.
"What do you mean?" He asked. I sighed.
"The same happened to me and Ester considered me as her murderer. How can I be held responsible for someone's weakness? I cannot force myself to love anyone."
He hummed and held his chin, deep in thought, "You are right. Ester has to understand this. I guess this is why she is here." He shook his head and I nodded.
"I wish I had been a good Father to understand her pain and not let her live in illusions." He said sadly.
"I think you are a great father. You raised Ester to be kind and if you listened to her first motivational speech, you'll cry." I said sincerely.
"I did.. and what you said happened. I am proud of her. You changed her, thank you." He smiled.
"We both changed each other.." I then told him what has happened till now. Mr Willows was taken back when he heard it.
"This guy Henry is a bastard for doing this. How dare he ruin both of your lives. I can't believe you hurt Ester under such pressure." He hissed, making a disgusted face.
"I cannot change the past but I can change my future and I need to. I can't live in darkness anymore. I need your support." I said.
"Will you help me?" I asked.
"Of course I will! I will do whatever you want. I am with you son. Don't worry. People like Henry need to be taught a lesson." He said firmly.
"You are right."
"Should I talk to Ester?" He asked. I shook my head no. "Then?"
"Talk to Mrs Willows."
"Danielle?" He was perplexed. I nodded and continued, "I will talk to Ester myself. I need your guys' support if something happens or Henry tries to pull us apart."
"You got it. I will do it. Rest assured." He said earnestly. I smiled and replied with a sincere 'Thank You'.
After meeting with Mr Willows I decided to meet my Father because he lives in the same misconceptions as mine. We never talked about it, I never asked what Henry told him.
I used to believe I was at fault and now I know I am not, I will tell Father as well.
He needs to listen to my side of the story now. I remember how much me and Father got scared when Henry out of nowhere sent a threat letter to Ester and she thought it was me who wanted to degrade- She thought of me that low back then.
Back how was I with her... she was right to doubt me but it wasn't me it was Henry.