Viviane
Impressive how there are people who don't realize how much their actions can hurt other people. Not that I was hurt by João Felipe, because I never expected positive things from him and it wouldn't be now that I would delude myself with something like that. Quite the opposite.
If I decided to seize the moment and have anything to do with him, it was with eyes wide open. I can accuse Felipe of several things, but I will never be able to say that he deceived me.
We've known each other for a long time, and I know all your features. Even more so when he always made a point of showing me the negatives. I know all his faults very well.
"I'm not mad at you if that's what you're asking and you'd rather not be blunt," I said wearily.
" I went straight.”
" Right.”
I thought it best not to argue over something like semantics. There were already too many things to discuss.
" So if you're not upset with me, who is to blame, or blamed for your mood? Or should I be clearer and say: bad mood?”
"I don't like the idea of Julia going home with that stranger. She doesn't know him from other places, she has no better frame of reference than just his word that they live in the same building. She's being reckless."
" But if you've been friends for some time, I believe, you should be used to attitudes like that on her part. It didn't seem to be the first time she went out accompanied by a ballad " Felipe pointed, and I had to agree in thought. It really shouldn't be the first time that Julia went out with strangers.
He was driving through the streets of São Paulo, which were almost deserted at that time when I realized that we weren't heading toward the neighborhood where we lived.
" Where are we going?”
" Let's go to a hotel.”
" How do you take the direction of a hotel, without first confirming if I want to go?”
He looked at me looking embarrassed and slowed the vehicle.
" Vivi, you don't need to change yourself that way. I really should have asked earlier, but we ended up getting on the subject of your friend and I just walked along without even realizing what I was doing.”
I looked at him with a frown, but at the same time, I also saw that he was being sincere.
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. The night was not going as I had imagined when I was still getting ready.
" And then, Vivi? Shall I go to the hotel or would you rather go home? I will understand you and even though I really want to be with you tonight, I realize that it's not okay.”
" It must be the accumulated stress of this last week. I'm getting upset about something lately, it must be the pressure of finals at University " I tried to justify it.
He looked at me as he guided the car at a minimum speed, waiting for me to make some decision about our destination.
" Let's go to a hotel. We need to talk and from the events of today, I realize that we won't have many opportunities to be alone.”
"I also came to this conclusion today. That's why I went to the club. I was hoping to find some opportunity for us to be alone together.”
We continued the rest of the way in silence and when we arrived at the hotel, I noticed that João Felipe was as far away from me as possible. In light of that, I was indecisive if I should continue with that. If it was even worth it.
My thoughts were interrupted when he showed me the access card to the room he had reserved for us, motioning me toward the elevator.
" You're afraid someone will see us together here at the hotel," I said as soon as we entered the elevator.
" It's a risk, you have to agree. You know who my mother is, and I wouldn't want to spoil my future plans with family fights" He spoke in an apologetic tone and hugged me.
Of course, we were in the elevator alone and no one would see, I thought wryly.
This relationship had everything to go wrong, but I could enjoy a few more days. As long as I didn't pay attention to details like the one at the hotel entrance, it would be fine. I mocked myself once again.
" Are you going to be upset about this too? Hmm? " She continued hugging me and started smelling my neck. "I love your perfume. I remember that you used it from the times when I was still studying here in Brazil.”
The elevator stopped at the selected floor and I took the opportunity not to respond. If he was waiting for some kind of answer.
We entered an elegantly furnished hotel room, in shades of gold and pale yellow. All are in very good taste. In the room, there was, in addition to the huge bed with yellow sheets, two nightstands, a table with two chairs in the corner, and a very comfortable-looking sofa at the other end.
There was also a door in the wall opposite the desk, where I believe the bathroom would have been, and a sliding glass door that led out onto a balcony.
" Let's sit here. I think we need to talk " Felipe said, guiding me to the sofa. " Tell me honestly, are you just upset with Julia or did I also do something that bothered you? " he spoke while touching my face and caressing my hair, which ended up disarming me.
" I was first upset with you. Then came the situation with Julia, which ended up being the last straw " I vented.
" What did I do to make you upset? Because I was upset with you too, and I think we already have a lot to disturb us. We don't need to place more obstacles ourselves."
He spoke looking me in the eyes and I agreed with him, making an affirmative movement with my head.
" I didn't like to see you talking to those girls, back at the club. Buying them drinks " I ended up confessing what had bothered me beyond measure.