Viviane
We got in the car, me in the front next to Felipe, because my mother made sure of it and she was in the back seat. Most of the journey she came monopolizing the conversation, admiring how much Sarinha had grown and was more known in this period when he was away, and telling the news about my aunt and father.
He couldn't come with her as he was helping his sister recover from surgery while she couldn't stand missing her granddaughter, according to her words.
Fabiano had gone to pick her up in the morning and she hadn't told me before because she wanted to have a surprise. She had really managed to surprise me, coming with Felipe to pick me up at work.
When we got home, I was the first to come down, because I was very upset about this harassment of Felipe, not because I did not like him, but because it was exactly the opposite. I didn't know how long I could resist this new facet of hers, much kinder, more considerate, and trying in every way to please me. It was too much for me to resist, I couldn't deny it.
I went first towards my room, without even going looking for my little one, for I needed to get away from that man before I committed madness.
I was already in my room, after having finished taking a long shower to relieve the tension of the day and all the things I was living in those last days, when I heard someone slamming the door and, when I authorized the entrance, I realize that it is João Felipe with Sarinha in his arms.
"Mommy!"
This man wanted to drive me crazy, it could only be that!
"She was homesick, and since you went up to your room, I decided to wait a while and bring her here."
So full of good intentions, I thought cynical.
I went towards my daughter and took her from Felipe's arms, talking to her in a caring way and hugging her a lot. I was also missing my cuteness.
"Are you upset?" asked Felipe, at my explicit refusal to talk to him.
" I'm, of course, I'm upset, Felipe! " I decided to talk openly about what was bothering me, but I kept the tone as low as possible as my daughter was in my arms and I wasn't going to make her nervous after all.
We stared at each other intensely, him waiting for my next words and me wondering if I should go ahead with everything I had to say.
João Felipe
"I don't understand all your insistence on being by my side, on trying to "talk" to me, on trying to do what? A reconciliation between us? " she dumped it all at once.
"yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to do, Vivi. I want you in my life, I want a second chance to be happy."
I also didn't mince words to put out what I was really feeling. I had controlled myself too much and for too long.
"You only forget one detail, one small detail. I am married to your brother and we are very happy together. I don't intend to separate myself from João Pedro, I would never do anything like that to him."
That truth uttered by his mouth hurt deep in me, for it was something that, after a long time of thinking, I came to the obvious conclusion that I was the only one to blame for being in such a situation today. I was the one who practically threw Vivi into João Pedro's arms, but at the same time, I knew there was something else in that story. Something I was letting slip.
" Would you rather be by his side, even without loving him? "
I needed to hear the answer because I had already understood that they really loved each other, but not as husband and wife, but I wanted to hear from Vivi the defense of this love, to try to extract the truth.
"Who says I don't love João Pedro? I love him yes. And I love it very much," he spoke with conviction, but that was true. Despite being a love of brothers.
"I love you, Vivi. I want to be Sarah's father and that we can live together, as I should have been. Give our love a chance."
I decided to play all my cards and show her what I was really talking about and what I intended for our lives if she would give me a chance. One more.
"I've already given it a try and I remember your words very well. And as for being Sarah's father, that can only be a joke! Wasn't it you yourself who said it would be a plague in your life to have a child with me? Now want to take over Sarah?"
Being reminded of such words uttered by me, in a moment of extreme arrogance, made me totally unresponsive, for Viviane's anger was totally justified. I just wish I could go back in time and take what I said because today I was fully sorry. Never that a child with Vivi could be something bad or negative, as I had put that horrendous day.
I'm sure it was that day that I lost Viviane to my brother.
"I said it without even thinking, I could never have said anything like that, especially when it comes to something as precious as a child. Today I see that I was very cruel to you, but I just need an opportunity to show you that I'm no longer that arrogant idiot from before."
"And what made you change so drastically?" she asked me mockingly.
Before I could answer, my mother entered Viviane's room as the door was wide open.
"Hello, my dears. I came to call for dinner" She was soon speaking, in her usual delicate way, not noticing the tense mood inside the room.
" You can go ahead, I will leave Sarinha with Isabela so that she can give you dinner " Viviane spoke to us, her clear intention: to end our conversation.
With no alternative, I accompanied Mom to the dining room.
I needed to find out what connected João Pedro to Viviane and why they had married, because if there was one thing that was clear to me, it was that she still loved me, it was enough to see the way she looked at me. There was hurt for my attitude, but there was also love there, just as there was still on my part. And if there was love, we needed to try one more time, I would go all the way.