Tessa pov
I had woken up to the sound of Iris screaming. It scared me, I had never heard any baby ever scream or cry like that. I got out of bed and see Iris tugging at her ears, I felt her forehead and it is back to being a fever like temperature.
I don’t know what to do, it’s 3:30 in the morning, urgent care is closed, the pediatrician isn’t open, this isn’t an emergency, but it’s the only thing I can do. To try and make Iris calm down I used Collins trick, he would snap his fingers next to her ears and she would pay attention to that instead of what she was crying about. But when I did it, she couldn’t hear it.
“Iris, baby can you hear me.” My heart skipped many beats, I should’ve just took her to urgent care when her fever kept coming back, I’m a horrible mother, I’m too young to have a baby, I’m irresponsible, and I shouldn’t just assume anything.
I wasn’t wearing any clothing but my underwear and I couldn’t just leave the house with a robe on. Going into the hospital like that would probably make me look like I’m a stripper or a sl*t not sure which one yet...
I put on my leggings and threw a sweater on, putting socks and shoes on my feet, grabbing iris who’s starting to calm down but is still crying.
I’m still freaking out, putting Iris in the car with the car seat was a challenge, she was looking at me and crying, but I couldn’t hold her at that moment, I tried leaving the parking lot without starting the car, most importantly, I forgot to call Collin.
But I can justify that he’s not answering my phone calls, he’s not answering the door at the apartment, and he hasn’t seen Iris since he left two weeks ago.
We were only five minutes away from the hospital, which, in my case, was nice, but on normal days, all we hear is sirens, every time I hear it, I wonder if it’s yet another drug overdose.
We arrived at the hospital and conveniently the emergency room was right up in the front. I was on the brink of having a panic attack. Iris is starting to get the shortness of breath from all of the crying, her face is red, and her crying is now a whimper.
I walked up to the desk and put her car seat on the counter, the nurse had heard Iris crying and asked me what’s wrong.
“She’s had an off and on fever for about a week, I just figured it was her teeth growing in since she’s growing one but she can’t hear anything, and she’s been crying a lot, like a scream cry.”
" Name? ”
“Iris Gold Reynolds.”
“Insurance?“I grabbed my wallet and opened it looking for the insurance card, but not seeing it, when I realized that Collin carried her insurance card the last time he took her to the doctors, now I just look more irresponsible and frowned upon then I did when I walked in here.
“I’m sorry, I don’t. Her dad isn’t answering the phone and he has the insurance card, I can just pay for it, and the insurance should be on the file.”
She asked me some more questions, and Iris had calmed down, probably sleeping, I was directed into a room and was asked nicely to remove her from her car seat.
I sat down near the top of the bed, sitting criss cross while Iris was laying on her back in front of me.
I held my Thumb over Collins contact number in my phone knowing for a fact he won’t answer, but if I don’t leave a voicemail or call and there’s that 1% chance he will answer and I don’t call him; i’ll regret it.
I clicked it, and the phone never even rang going straight to voicemail, “You’ve reached Collin, Tessa!” And iris’s Babel that took us so long to get, I really do miss him.
“Hey Collin, I know you’re not uhm, answering my calls but I thought I’d let you know that Iris is in the hospital right now, she woke me up screaming and crying tugging at her ears. I know you are mad at me, you have every right, as I did, but please put your anger aside and come down here for your daughter.”
I hung up the phone and a few tears unwillingly fall down my cheek, the stress and separation from the people I know is finally getting to me and I don’t think I can stay strong much longer.
I dialed my dad’s number, knowing its early in the morning and he’ll be the only one who won’t chew me out, he won’t tell me it’s my fault for not telling Collin about anything, he’s the only one that’s talking to me.
“Tessa? Why are you calling so early, is everything all right?” I couldn’t hold my tears back anymore, hearing his voice was bringing me to tears, like everything was okay when nothing was.
“I need you, daddy.” My tears streaming, my heart shattering.
“I’m coming sweetheart, where are you?”
“Colorado springs hospital.”
" I’ll be there as quickly as I can.” My dad hung up the phone, as I buried my face in my hands sobbing in them when a very familiar doctor walked in, his face as shocked as mine.
“Just perfect. This curse just keeps getting bigger. ” I said, His face looking puzzled.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.
“Well, it’s a hospital, and my daughter has been having fever off and on, just 10 minutes ago she was screaming, and crying, now she’s sleeping peacefully, but her skin is still hot.”
“Let’s take a look.” He lowered his chair and raised the bed, grabbing the otoscope which looks inside your ears, putting it inside iris’s left one first.
It was quite and he wasn’t saying anything which made it awkward just like the other appointments I had with him. “So you work in the emergency room all the way over here in springs? It’s two hours from Denver.”
“Its my dad’s hospital, I’m filling in while he’s on vacation, I just so happen to have gotten bored and started working down here. ”
“How’s the twins?”
“Good, they just turned two on Sunday.” He stood up and threw his gloves in the trash, leaning up against the counter. “Iris has what us medical professionals call AOM, acute otitis media. Which is basically a common ear infection. An inner ear infection where fluid gets trapped behind the eardrum. Symptoms would be fevers, hearing impairment, vomiting, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, and a lot more symptoms.”
“My poor baby has had an ear infection for god knows how long and I didn’t catch any of the signs, how could I have missed it?”
“She’s also teething which has similar symptoms minus the diarrhea and hearing impairment. I’m just going to give her antibiotics like the ones she was given today for the visit. You’re free to go when you like, I won’t bill you for the hospital visit, let’s say, I owed you and this was my way of paying it off.”
“Jake, please stay, my dad won’t be here for an hour and I’m sure no one is looking for you. Please stay.”
“I don’t want Collin to get the wrong idea when he comes back, he seems like the jealous type.”
“Haven’t you noticed? Collin isn’t here. I don’t know where he is. We got into another argument and now he won’t answer my calls.”
I took a deep breath and shook my head trying to shake my emotions. I grabbed Iris and put her in my lap, not realizing Jake had put himself close to me, sitting where Iris was laying. My heart was getting excited, my cheeks were blushing, and I was just staring in his eyes as they were pulling me closer and closer to him until I was just inches away from his lips. His right hand on my upper left thigh. The pit in my heart slowly filling, as his lips crash into mine, again.
This time I’m not as regretful. Collin had ended the relationship with me for real.I felt the pit in my stomach as Jakes hand went higher touching where Collin claimed was his, no one else could have. I was craving Collins touch allowing myself to go to Jake to fill that want, that desire. the more he continued to touch the more I thought of Collin, it wasn’t right. I pulled away from the kiss, knowing if it goes any further, I won’t tell Collin, it will be just another secret. I told Jake to get out and bring my dad back here when he arrives.
Collin pov
“I can’t find my phone. It’s not in the car, in the tent, my backpack, no where!” I said yelling, wanting to look and see if any calls had come in since we are going into town soon.
“You told us you weren’t getting back together with Tessa why do you need your phone?” Chris asked.
“Because, asshole, I have a f**k*ng daughter, and Tessa probably thinks I just picked up everything and left. She’s going through a lot and by all of my stuff being gone she’s definitely going to think I’m gone.”
“You can worry about that when you get home. Stop thinking about your family while you’re with your brothers, aight. ” Jordan mentioned.
I’ve been here for two weeks having a f**kin blast, driving in snow mud puddles in my jeep, climbing mountains, blaring music, drinking sh*t loads of alcohol, waking up hungover every morning, and eating the worst food ever. I missed doing this with the boys, it feels like high school all over again, the glory days.
High school was the best, especially senior year. We were in the band playing small gigs in bars, pizza places, anywhere we could go we played. That was before an agent gave Jason a business card, she gave us huge gigs. We were playing local concerts all over the cities of Colorado. Rack up a bunch of female fans and get drunk, and high, then, we would take them to our personal hotel rooms and have sex. It was the glory days.
Then Jason died.
On the other hand, they’ve harmed my thinking. I came here regretting breaking up with Tessa, and now I don’t. They’ve told me that if she even felt the slightest feeling towards another man she doesn’t deserve me.
Every time they told me that, I always fight back saying “I cheated plenty of times with other girls on my ex girlfriend before Tessa.” but, Tessa was pregnant with my baby, Tessa kissed her doctor, and Tessa acted like it never happened. We’re also two different people, two different career’s, and I don’t think Tessa is ready to settle down at 17. I’m not even ready to settle down and be married at 22 I can’t imagine what Tessa’s thinking.
We carried on the morning by drinking alcohol and walking through the forest, Talens rifle in hand, and My bear spray, with a bunch of p**sies behind us. It’s cold out here, but it’s warm enough for us to go out near the waterfall where the boys can smoke weed while I walk further into the forest and think, ponder, look at pictures of my daughter and my now ex girlfriend; I thought we were good, I thought she was innocent, that being a virgin and pure in every way would prevent her from falling in the same path as the rest of the hot, blonde, skinny, typical white girl. But I guess I’m wrong.
“Collin!” One of the guys yelled.
“Yeah?” I wiped the one falling tear away, not allowing the guys to see how much my heart is hurting.
“None of us are within the legal amount of the DUI limit so we can’t make it to town, you cool with that?”
“It’s fine! You guys head back to camp, I’m gonna go further into the woods, don’t follow me!” I walked off heading towards nowhere but marking my way, breaking some branches and marking C’s into the trees to find my way back in case I get lost and can’t find my way to the camp. My anger inside of me has been building, no matter how drunk I get, I’m angry that everything in my life is worth nothing, has amounted to nothing, all the sh*t that could go right back fires. I find someone that changed me, she got pregnant, and then enters another man who can easily sweep her off her feet with the millions of dollars he has in his wallet.
What am I saying? I’m calling the mother of my child a gold digger when she’s only ever f*cked me, she didn’t sleep with the guy, she didn’t get pregnant from his seeds. I’m over exaggerating, I over reacted, but I don’t think I want to be with Tessa anyways. The stress is affecting both of us, and hurting the relationship we had, exactly what Mrs. Reynolds wanted.
I had stopped, the woods seemed to quiet, I could hear no rushing water, no birds chirping, the wind blowing the leaves non existent, it was too quiet.
Snap.
A tree branch behind me sounded like it was stepped on, but I could see nothing, and this is the time predators become the most hungry; I had pulled my hand gun from the back of my belt, the black pistol aimed right toward the sound, preparing for some kind of animal to jump out, when I see a black figure pop up, my finger on the trigger getting ready to shoot.
“Collin! Don’t shoot!” Chris said coming out, his hands up.
“What the f*ck Chris! I could’ve killed you!” I uncocked the gun and put it back on my waist band.
“Well you didn’t.” he said with a huge grin, which more looked like he was terrified, life flashing before his eyes.
“Why are you even here? You’re supposed to be with the guys back at camp.”
“The guys are too stoned to notice sh*t. We’re all worried about you bro. You wonder off, you’re not sleeping, and you sure as hell aren’t tuned in with us, we’re all laughing and having a good time but you are thinking to much to have a good time. I’m worried our advice has steered you in the wrong direction, none of us have kids, but, all of us love Tessa, we’re just saying what you want us to, maybe it’s time to listen to your heart instead of your head.”
Tessa p.o.v
Dad followed me back to my apartment, in his Toyota FJ 1978 pickup, while I drove home in the Kia with Iris sound asleep in the back seat. The entire way there (five minutes) I thought of the countless ways I’m going to tell Collin, because I have too. I love Collin more than I could ever love anyone else and not because Collin has a piece of me I can never give anyone. It’s because my heart only feels full when I’m near him, every minute he’s gone the more my energy gets sucked away. Iris is only keeping me awake, Collin recharges me.
When I get Iris settled into her playpen, I close the door and walk out into the living room where My dad was sitting on the couch staring at nothing. I took my place next to him, and I could feel myself getting all ready to cry again.
“What’s wrong, princess?”
I leaned my head on his shoulder as his right hand is placed on my head, comforting me while I cry. “I don’t know what to do, dad. Collin broke up with me and now he’s gone. He won’t answer my calls, his stuff isn’t at the apartment, he’s left me all alone to take care of Iris while mom tries to take her away. I don’t know how much more I can take daddy. I’m seventeen and my life has been shaped around a 30 year olds life. Iris means more than life itself, but how can I provide for her when I live in such a tragic world. Help me dad, please.” I pleaded, ready to give up, I’m so done with the drama that I’m risking everything and maybe my daughter will love me enough to forgive me when she’s older.
“Look at me, Tessa. ” I lifted my head, looking in his eyes, his hazel eyes comforting me, like he did when mom would always hit me with a belt when I was little. “Don’t you ever give up on Iris. She is your priority, you do whatever you have to, to keep her safe, well cared for, and loved. Everyone leaves at some point when their time is up, it’s not your time, your daughter needs you. This is especially hard on Collin. Just remember that. He’s battling against a family he’s never really known. His girlfriend, which was you, is conflicted between two guys, and most of all, he’s conflicted about himself, I’m sure he’s not intending to hurt you, Tessa. Just give him a little more time. It’s what we need sometimes to heal wounds, is time.”
“What if he comes back and doesn’t want to be in our lives? What if he’s done forever?”
“Well, he would be walking away from the most bestest thing he had going for him. As young as you may be, I can proudly say my daughter, is wiser beyond her years. You’ve grown in the last year, and I can finally sit back and watch you raise your daughter far better than I could’ve raised you.” he kissed my forehead as I rested my head on his shoulder.
“How do I fix my relationship with Collin? I can’t stand him touching me, but I crave it. The stress with everything going on isn’t making it any better.”
“You’ll figure out a way to all your problems when you listen to both your heart and your head. Destiny might lead you on the right path in the beginning but you have to fight to stay there. She isn’t nice when you screw up the timeline.” my dad says speaking in a mannerism I’ve never heard him speak before. But also talking as if he had experience in his own timeline.
(This isn’t anything supernatural, it’s just a belief her father and mother believe in.)
“Can I ask another question? It’s been eating me up for awhile.”
“You can ask me anything, Tessa.”
“If Collin is so afraid of my family, why doesn’t he introduce me to his? ”
“Only time can tell you that. But, my guess, he’s not ready to settle down, and from the looks of it, you aren’t either.