3 days later*
Collin’s point of view
“What was her name?”
“Mrs. James. She’s like extremely nice, always cheerful; although, I think maybe she talks about her son too much even though the whole class had heartache when we’re doing a lesson on family. She said that he got involved in someone else’s life and doesn’t talk to her anymore, It was quite sad. If my parents talked to me and loved me for who I was I don’t think I would stop talking to them. I mean just look at my dad, I talk to him even though he won’t drop my mom. I just wish sometimes he wasn’t so stubborn.”
At some point during her conversation with me, I zoned out. I was thinking about Tessa’s boobs for some reason, I mean seriously they were right in front of me just there, her cleavage was wanting me to look down there, explore them, like a forest, except her boobs aren’t hairy, like you know. God never mind.
“Yeah, yeah, sounds great.” I faked smiled.
“Were you even listening to me Collin! How is that great?”
“How is what great?”
“It’s not great Collin that’s what I’m trying to tell you!”
“Sorry.” I looked at my watch pretending that I have to go somewhere, knowing this situation has to end.
“Did you just look at your watch?”
“I told you I had to go to the gym, and I have a strict schedule.”
She pinched her nose and pointed to the door. “Go to the stupid gym then! It’s not like we can’t just get to know each other as friends.”
“Well you’re just being Iris right now! If only you had a mother to cry too!” I said walking out the door. Slamming it behind me. Way to go Collin, you just knocked another point off the getting back together list that is totally hypothetical.
***
I walked up to the front door after driving for two hours, anticipating the crying as soon as she opened it.
As I held my hand a few inches from the door, trying to get my body to knock but unwilling. Hoping, that maybe that just maybe, she won’t be here and I could just drive back home, and apologise to Tessa. I’m not afraid for her to know, I’m not afraid she’s going to abandoned me, I’m only afraid of her disappointment of doing this again, being careless, she’ll probably say something like “You didn’t learn your lesson from last time”. I just didn’t know she wasn’t on the pill.
I finally knocked on the door, waiting for a countless moment, allowing my heartbeat to jump out of my body and on to the tile’s under my feet. The dogs (sunny, and snickers.) barked at the sudden knock on the door while my mother’s voice influstuated louder when they got louder.
The house hasn’t changed. It’s still a mansion, the garden is still over growing, they still have the same cars, and my window is still covered with a almost naked model showing those that come in the house parking lot that, that is my motherf**king bedroom.
When in reality, I was just a freshman in high school who couldn’t get laid until I had a major glow up. Not kidding, I had braces, several acne treatments, my hair was a horrible dyed blonde and I shaved it off for my natural hair to grow back.
The two locks on the door were turned to the left, my mother unlocking them, allowing her to swing open the door and her smile dropped to a frown.
“Why didn’t you call me. I wasn’t expecting you over here.”
“It was brought to my attention that you’ve been wanting to see me.”
“Oh really? Brought to your attention? The missed phone calls, the voicemails, oh about this. The mail that gets sent back to me because you somehow moved to a different apartment, and didn’t bother telling your mother.”
“Look, I’m sorry I haven’t wanted to talk to you--”
“Excuse me young man, I am your mother, it does not matter if you don’t want to talk to me, sometimes I don’t want to be your mother does that mean I don’t get to for a whole year? I don’t think so.” Her hands were on her hips and I swear I could see smoke coming out of her ears.
“I’ve been dealing with a lot, a lot of drama, and I still am and will be for awhile.”
She opened the door wider to let me in. “Okay that’s when you pick up your phone and tell me what’s been going on with you.”
I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair, “I couldn’t, I still don’t think I can, I don’t think I can look at the disappointment in your face when I tell you this news.” We both sat on the couch, looking at each other as she has a concerned look on her face.
“Are you in trouble? Are you still going to the FBI academy?”
“I’ve got myself into something that at times I regret, but I can’t recover myself, I can’t make anything better.”
“Oh, my poor baby!” She yelled coming to hug me.
“Mom, I don’t need any comfort.”
“But I do! When did you get into so much trouble!”
“About 11 months ago.”
“No. Please tell me you didn’t. Not again.” I stayed silent. Knowing my time to talk was more than likely over.
“It’s only been Five years. How could you be so stup—” She looked at me, my head was bent down, and the tears were flowing from my eyes, while I was trying to hide it. There something about mother’s and no matter how much you try and hide something they seem to find it. It’s almost like their 6th sense. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean too. I didn’t even think about what you’re going through.”
She rubbed my back, trying to sooth me. But I just kept crying. I guess it’s the fact that I was the one having to stay strong for Tessa, and with everything now, I couldn’t hold it in anymore; I couldn’t be Mr. Strongman anymore.
“Who’s the girl?”
I smiled; and chuckled, “You kind of met her already. But I feel that you should wait to meet her tell she comes to you.”
“That’s not how it’s supposed to be. You’re supposed to bring her to me. I’m supposed to meet her. Just like she introduced her parents to you.”
I looked at her and shook my head no. “Her parents or really her mom wasn’t to happy. I only found out because she had nowhere to go. She showed up at my door soaking wet and sobbing. And when she told me or a little so after I realized I couldn’t tell you, I couldn’t put you through that kind of hurt, so instead, I had to stay strong for her, putting all my time and effort into that relationship instead of focused on your disappointment.”
“Oh Collin. I don’t wish parenthood on anyone who isn’t ready.”
“I couldn’t tell her where I was going. My only option was to lie we’re not dating anymore because of the drama that we’ve been dealing with, so. And we got into a huge fight. I said things I shouldn’t have. Like seriously shouldn’t have.”
“You live with her?”
“No. She lives with me. That way we can raise our daughter together.”
“I have a granddaughter?” She smiled.
“Her name is Iris. She’s almost three months old.”
“Why didn’t you want to tell me?”
“I told you; I didn’t want you to feel hurt, or disappointment.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Like I mentioned before her parents weren’t pleased and they blamed it on her. It was my fault I was older than her, she was a virgin, I was not. She asked me and me being a guy, jumped on the opportunity and didn’t even check to make sure she was on the pill. I wore a condom obviously, but it didn’t help me any.”
“Okay, well, first of all, I am not her parents, second of all; I didn’t need to know the details. And back to the things you said to her you really shouldn’t have; what did you say?”
“Well I basically told her she’s being our daughter, but she doesn’t have a mother to cry to.” I bit my lip, looking away from my Mom ashamed from what I said. It’s like calling someone a bastard when they don’t know their father.
She smacked me in the face and said, “That is not the nice young gentleman I raised! I will not tolerate that behavior! Is that why you drove two hours over here? Do you think you’ll be able to spend the night in your old room!?”
“It was.”
“NO! You go apologize to her! That wasn’t nice, she’s probably going through a lot and for you to just go and say that to her is not okay especially if she’s dealing with things.”
I’m going through it too.
“I guess it was just a moment of weakness.” I said.
“Now that you’ve gotten over your moment of weakness can I ask you a question?”
Please don’t be what I think your going to ask.
“Are you gonna ask to marry her?”
I doubt that could ever happen, I don’t think we’ll get to that part for quite some time, even if I wanted it to be sooner.