Sinclair pov
'Where can I get a man like martin?’
‘ damn, i wish all men could be best friend like martins”
“ i wish i had a husband like martins i would be so damn happy”
Martins sat reading the reactions, of some people who witnessed the wedding crash,talking about the crash, nessa still wouldn't talk to me, if i can remember vividly, she boldly said
‘tell mom, i won't talk to her, but am fine, “
over the phone, when martins called to ask where she would be travelling to, fully aware I could hear her.
I don't blame her, i failed her, and everyone, “look” martins said , it was a meme of adonis, making us giggle, well making him giggle, as my soul felt no ounce of joy, i should have saved her myself not martins, he even dug up things limited people were aware of, and decided to take the bullet on himself.
Does this mean i am a bad mother?,
It all comes back to me, i haven't been there for her,
‘mom, see what i made’ little nessa walks up to me, with a bracelet wrapped around her little arms, while i stared at her with a eye half full with tears, and a mouth embraced by liquor, ‘mom, aunt kate and i made matching bracelet, but i want you to have one as well. Do you like mine? I could make you something similar” she said.
Yet nothing, i just stared at her, she looked like me so much, and damn i hate myself too much to see a joyful replica’
I watched her sun-like grin turn into a glum look, as she walked out of the living room making my heart beat in anger and regret.
“Momma, i bit my tongue” three year old nessa said, with teary eyes, while i stare at her, ones again i see myself in her yes, why did i bring her to this world, at a time i didn't even like myself, “ go meet kate” i said walking away.
‘Mom, i kissed a boy’
Bolding written on a card, under my rug, fuck, my heart ached’, i am a havoc to love, my life is filled with misery, holding the card between my trembling fingers, love isn’t for people like me, a part of me felt scared, the other felt glee, I really want to ask her what kissing a boy felt like.
It used to feel gross and beautiful,
She had grown up, without my notice, cleaning my eyes, with a squared chest, in halt, what if my presence took away her happiness?, No, she’s a grown up with a life, and soon will be leaving for college soon.
My little girl , walking up to her room, I see her talking with Kate, our nanny who had showed up more times in her life than I did, the try layed on her bed, having a chatt tree r which looked too juicy to ignore as they laid on the bed, hands on their cheek like a pillar
“ we met in school,
“ we had be so much in common you wouldn’t even believe it, his mother died too, yes, and he's so cute, mom, he would go to the same college and oh god damnit we would get married”
“ awww but be careful first love always makes my cheek hurt” Kate said
“ I know I know, but I don’t think Adonis will hurt me, he loves me just like in the movies, and I will prove to the world that I can marry my first love and still leave the best life there is, just with my better half,” she said, still grinning.
Totally awestruck, by her words, she doesn’t need me in her life, no I should be the one getting the reward perks and pop corn tosses, maybe if Kate wasn’t here nessa would have no one else to talk to other than me, and she would come back to me.
Walking out of the room, stuck in a dilema, I laid on couch, waiting for a creek on her door, as tears pooled down my eyes, my inside felt like a loaf in a sea, so I took emotionless stride towards my rack of scotch…
My remedy
“Sinclair!”
Martins called out, as he tapped me , “we would honor it right?” he said, he face shows up to be blur before me, which later got resolved by impulse blinking, “ why are you crying?” he asked as he stood from his chair, he stands before me, his thumb caressing my face gently,
“ why are you crying, it's all over” he said raising me up on my feet.
“ i am here” he said hugging me, his words made the furnace in my heart calm, as i let the tears pool down my cheek, “i missed you” i said, honest this time, i never knew how luck felt until he came into my life, giving me a different perspective of life.
“ i love you sinclair’’ he replied, now his hands stretch as he held me at arm length, “ i love you, so much, and i would spend everyday proving that to you, till you accept my love for you” end esaid grinning.
“ thank you” i said, pulling him for a hug,
“Always welcome” he replied
“ well, now that everything's covered up, are we going to honour it?” he said,
“ honor what”
“ don't tell me you weren't listening, his thumb swept below my wet eyes, and his palm holding my jaw upward
“ i would spank you if you say no” he said, causing a weird reaction between my thighs, fuck i missed him so much, “ no papi” i replied pouting , making both of us giggle, “ well we were invited to the ellen talk show “
“What!”
“ yes , and its just two days from now, fuck i am so excited, i never knew i would be on ellen talk show , fuck i love her so much!” he said beaming at me, probably more excited than me,
“ you are my lucky charm mami, plase tell me we would be going” he said holden my hand, “ yes martins it would be great to be on ellen talk show, with you”
“ yippee, I love you.. love you, love you” he placed several kiss on my cheek, while hopping around like literally bunny hopping before me, making me laugh so hard my belly hurts.
His childish behavior got me stifling a laugh, i haven't seen him so excited, “ yea yea, laughing all you want, i am famished, let's cook shall we” he said, still maintaining joker like grin, “ yea me too” i suddenly feel the thunderous rumble in my stomach,
“ and just so you know you will do the cooking while i would taste the food” he said making my eyes pop, seriously ?.
“ aww, she wants to back out of a challenge”
“ never, well I have a murder recipie up for sleeve” i replied ginvig a side wink, “ yea, i would take that risk, it would be an honur to be killed by the most beautiful woman, that ever lived ” he said making me blush, fuck i missed him, and i knee i did this time surround, could this be love?.
Martins was seated on the kitchen island, while I prepared a simple dish, which I had practised in my mind, don't get me wrong, the mind is a beautiful place, and my mind, had humus toast dangling around it in a pink bikini and a cup of mojito.
“ seat and watch” I said, bringing my bread, and eggs. I love avocado toast too, and would add that to my mouth watering toast.
…….
“ you outdone yourself this time around” martins said as he took a sip of hot brewed coffee, and while swallowing the warm toast , “ it's not easy, to be this great” i said owning his comment with a squared shoulder, “ we could call this the sinclairs special” he said, making me giggle, “ true, it would be added in the menu” he said, making me blush,
“ but baby girl nothing comes for free”
“ there’s a prize to pay”
, “ what's that?”
“ a makeup-sex”
“ what?.. What the hell is makeup sex?”
“ not regular kind of makeup sex,”
“ we dont have regular kind of sex martins”
“ exactly, that's why it would be a surprise” he said, standing up from the dining chair, “ see you later babe, i have to see john and mega” he said as he carried the plate, leaving me in a pool of suspense.