Vanessa pov
Its been a week since, i last spoke to Adonis , and the last time, i spoke to martins as well, it hurts but seeing him , and knowing all along he has been right, i have been with adonis for as long as i can remember, and still someone who has little to no real relationship of how our relationship has been, could tell Iam not loved, it feels stupid, my stupidity hurts.
Locked up in my room for as long as i can remember, only time i get to sneak out, is every morning when matins had my food packed up.
A slight blush crept up on my face just thinking about how childish it is having breakfast and dinner packed up, in a box with a letter by its side.
Who knew being babied felt this nice
‘Xoxo’
Boldly written on a cardboard paper with a sticker of rose printed on it, how long did it take him to customize this?.
Mom didn't even do that for me, she doesn't care to ask if i found love at thirteen , or how puberty felt like, it feels like she was never here, and the masculine presence feels different, and way to foreign to absorb the mutual care, as he never experienced parental care from birth parents
Sigh
Looking around, my room feels like my heart right now, i used up my allowance to get this room redesigned into a little beautiful graveyard, just like i always felt, is this good for me?, confusion settled in my heart, as it comes to my realization i know nothing about myself, neither do i know of anybody around me.
Not even adonis,
A tear tracked down my cheek, for the hundredth time today, my back aches , my hands to weak clean my tears, my brain to deserted to feel high, who knew self battle would be the draining,
My phone buzzes
Martins messages onces more ,
‘I am sorry i would prepare something if you come around’
My heart wells with emotions, seeing his message but soon it was replaced by guilt, i even yelled at him, he cares about me, and seeing him put real effort into making mom love him, makes me think back, sis adonis ever do so much, to make me feel love,
The little things do matters, now i know what little things feels and looks like, i want this kind of love, mom is so lucky and she’s so oblivious about it, even love favours the most broken, and heartless people, but i was to unfortunate.
‘You need fresh air’
Those words comes back tacking millions of negative comments in my head, martins said it the last time he was here, maybe i do need fresh air, enthusiasm found its way in heart, as i wiped the tear pooling in my eyes, my frozen lash scratching the back of my palm,
My bones were still as asleep as fatigue settles within me, walking towards the bathroom ,confronted by the image of my broken self , looking pale, and lifleless, my hair, loose and harphazard , adonis doesn’t look like this, he is always perfect while i am here fighting the looks of a ghost.
‘You need fresh air’
Those words comes back to me, again, this time,like a fuel, the lifelessness in my thoughts gets replaced instantly, as I walked out, taking an elevator to the garage there i took one of moms cars, mine smells like cum and adonis, first stop was maggie's places, there’s no other place that wouldn’t smell like adonis.
It was beautiful as predicted,martins sure do have taste for classy things, if he weren't so open with me, i wouldn’t have had the slightest clue, he didn’t grow up in luxury, people were seated outside, all under straw umbrella, and a plastic table, which brings the beautiful picture of a beach to life, the calmness from the lake not far from here only rings perfection.
All eyes were on the ghost walking in the midst of living people, that's why I had my goggles on, walking in, I texted martins, who didn’t take two seconds to reply,
‘I am in the kitchen, hurry!’
He replies with an exclamation mark.
Rushing in, i see mom standing before him, they were having their pep talk I could tell from the girlie posture she had, she’s enjoying the conversation,goddamnit, she holding her bag with both hands while swaying from side to side.
“ Hey mom” i said in the most sarcastic manner ever, my presence baffled her, making her flinch , as she blinked vigorously, “ hey baby, what are you doing here” she said with a fake smile , her cheek was burning red now.
i am stuck between believing if it's from excessive blushing,or trying to make martins believes her cold heart would feel some love for her only daughter.
“ i came here for lunch, what are you doing here, dont you have a new home to sell to couples, that love their family ” i said as pain flickered in my words, her face wells with anger as she now maintenance a glum look.
“ you dont have to be rude all the time, one day you would take care of the company, so better grow up” she said matter of factly.
“Well guess whos going to have to bare a child”, i said with a sarcastic smile, |
“ we” , now that the whole family, why don't we go outside for a lunch break together , one out of everything in the menu” martins said, distracting the glaring contest, mom and i had going on,
“ quit it, i am going back to work” mom said , martins was quick to block the exit, giving me space to walk into the kitchen, there i see a lacy red material on the floor, it looks like pants , walking up to it, indeed it's panties, with the looks of it, it looks like the exact one adonis had me wear, while he brutally had sex ith me.
My heart wells with anger and sadness ones more, does this belong to another woman?, is matins cheating on my mom with another woman, he better…
Looking at him, he was hugging mom now, while he stares at me, giving me a ‘will tell you later’ kind of whisper, sticking it in my purse, i nodded before he broke the hug, i can’t wait for the proper explanation he would give me for having a lingeries in his kitchen.
I would kill him, if he messes with moms heart, heaven knows that no one hurts my mother except me, and thats because she hurt me first aside that, no one has that right, “ just three hours , then i would be back to work” mom Said as they broke their hug.
“ Ok I will get the waiters to bring the necessary food , I have the best spot for the three of us ” he said, pulling our hands towards the exit of the kitchen, gently squeezing mine, till we exited, there I saw the definition of creativity in such a small piece of land.
It was like a tent, with vases of flowers in all four corner , its like an outdoor miniature garden, but with straw roof and straw chairs, three chairs and a table, when did he build ths?, was this part of the restaurant plan?.
Lost in the view, he pulls my hands ones more, till we were just feets away from the chairs, with the looks of things mom wasn't aware of it either , “ martins this is beautiful” she said totally amused, “ do you remember baldwin, maggie's kitchen had a view just by the window l” he said, i had no idea what baldwin look like, but i would love to see the original copy of the amazing place.
“Yes, it's so beautiful, '' she said, and once again they were all lovey dovey around me, kissing like it was their last.
fag!!