A week before the wedding.
Murat was terrified would be an understatement. He stood on the porch of his neighbour's door, his was heart pounding hard just by thinking about what is going to happen in a few minutes. The result might not even be favouring him, but he's going to do this anyway. Otherwise, his subconscious would never let him live in peace for the rest of his life.
His hand seemed to freeze as it went near the calling bell. With determination, he finally rang the bell and waited for them to open the door. His heart was beating at a fast pace as he stood there, questioning his choices.
Meher, the youngest Baig daughter opened the door for him and she gasped in surprise, a wide smile formed on her lips as she lets him in.
"Mama, papa. Murat bhai is here." She hollered excitedly whilst running upstairs. He took slow steps towards the living room.
"Assalamualaikum, uncle and auntie." He greeted them both with a polite smile. Malaika and Arsalaan stood up from the sofa in surprise.
"Walaikum Assalam, Murat... You could have called us before coming, I'd have made something to eat." Malaika began to panic but Arsalaan held her hands, giving them a gentle squeeze.
Murat understood how deeply in love they were both. He could practically see it in their eyes. A corner of his heart ached unknowingly thinking about his past. He thought he had it once; whatever they both have right now. But what a fool he had been. His throat felt dry as he stared at them guiltily.
"I wanted to talk something important." He said with fear in his voice.
His to-be in-laws looked taken aback and confused.
"Is everything okay?" Arsalaan questioned him with a puzzled look on his face.
"Can you also call Mashal, please? I want to confess something to her and you all. I hope I have the permission to do that," his words did nothing but panic them more. Malaika walked upstairs to probably call Mashal.
He took a deep breath and looked down at his shoes. He couldn't get himself to meet any of their eyes. And to think that he was almost going to hide this biggest truth and marry their daughter made him feel like the worst possible human. He felt his heart pounding hard against his ribcage.
"She's here," Arsalaan's cold voice snapped him back to reality. He could already see the worrying look on his to-be father-in-law's face. He didn't blame him at all.
But Murat forgot everything for a second as he recognised that familiar floral scent lingering in the air. He lifted his head and glanced at her, their eyes gets locked. His breath hitched at the raw beauty in front of him. Her face was devoid of any makeup and she wore a simple salwar kameez but still, she looked so breathtakingly enchanting. A tint of redness appeared on her face as she looked away. Although, she looked distant.
Meher passed them both teasing glances, oblivious of the tension in the room.
"Well, please be seated." Arsalaan cleared his throat and signed him to sit on the sofa. Indirectly telling him not to ogle at his daughter.
Murat wanted the earth to swallow him down already. It was embarrassing and awkward. With a nervous smile, he walked ahead and sat on the smaller sofa while Mashal sat in between both her parents in the four-seater one. Meher sat on the handrest of the same sofa. They all faced him eagerly, wanting to know why was he there.
"Murat, beta... You're scaring us. What is it?" Malaika asked him quizzically.
He gulped, feeling very intimidated. All four pairs of eyes were on him.
"Um, I wanted to confess something before the wedding." He wanted to be strong enough to admit this one thing, otherwise, he won't be able to look at himself even in the mirror.
"Confess?" Arsalaan raised his brows, already sounding distant and cold. He held his daughter's hands protectively and at the same time signalled Meher to go upstairs, not wanting her around in this conversation. She huffed but left anyway.
There was absolute silence in the living room as they waited for him to say something. The silence didn't help him. He clenched his fist in nervousness.
"Uncle and auntie, I- uh. Iwasinarelationship." Murat muttered gathering all his courage.
Mashal gave him a shocking look. While Malaika and Arsalaan were still processing what he said. They both eyed each other and then at him.
"Can you please be a little clearer?" Arsalaan glared at him. Not caring for the fact that he's their to-be son-in-law. The desi household has this bad habit of putting up with all the tantrums and bad habits of the sons-in-law just like that. It was a years-old practice. But Murat could see the Baig family aren't like that.
"I was in a relationship. I had a girlfriend." He admitted ashamedly, his head hung low. It wasn't easy for him to come out clean like this... It wasn't easy at all. He was not proud of his past.
"Ya Allah!"
"Are you kidding me right now?"
Malaika and Arsalaan stood up furiously, glaring at him in disbelief. He winced inwardly and stood up as well.
Mashal was still seated on the sofa. Lost in her thoughts.
"And why are you telling this now? After the wedding cards were printed and distributed? A week before the wedding?" Arsalaan frowned at him, Malaika held his biceps, trying to calm him down.
He opened his mouth to talk. But words fell short. He couldn't even eye them properly.
"Why didn't your parents tell us anything about this? We had plenty of time. I didn't expect this from Hania," Malaika tsked disapprovingly.
"They wanted to. But I told them I'll do it myself. I don't want anyone to point fingers at their upbringing or question them because it's all my fault and I want to take responsibility for it. I'm sorry for taking so much time in saying this, uncle and auntie." Murat added nervously while he looked down at Mashal, who was looking rather very calm and composed contrasting to what he had expected.
"It doesn't make anything better. You should have told us earlier. We wouldn't have proceeded this far even." Arsalaan scowled looking at him furiously.
The fact that they're already thinking about stopping this marriage was doing something to his heart. He couldn't breathe properly. He has already pictured a lot about their future. And to think it's only going to be a dream left him feeling wrecked.
"Uncle and auntie, I'm truly sorry. I just don't know what to say that will be enough justifying. I don't want to justify anything. I was wrong. It was my past I have moved on. My ex has moved on. I have nothing to do with her now. I want to start afresh with my life and I like your daughter. Please give me a chance. I'll try to be a good husband to her," Murat pleaded guiltily.
"Why should we trust you?" Malaika questioned him angrily. All this while Mashal was sitting still, observing everything silently.
"It was my past, auntie. I can't do anything to erase it. My parents were against that relationship but I went ahead with it for my selfish reasons. It gave me nothing but heartaches and hurt in return. I don't know how can I make you trust me, because it isn't easy, I can understand. But please give me one chance, just one chance." Murat had tears in his eyes which he fought away.
He knew how much of a big deal dating was from the Islamic point of view. It was highly frowned upon and he can very well understand if they even call off the wedding. He wouldn't blame anyone but himself honestly. But damn, he couldn't imagine not marrying the woman in front of him.
His heart has fixed her as his, right from the moment she said yes. He hoped that things should go in his favour although he knew there are ninety per cent chances that they won't. He wanted to be optimistic though.
"You could have very well hidden this from us, why tell now?" Arsalaan didn't sound as mad or cold. Murat took that as a positive sign.
"I was not going to. But my subconscious knew it was wrong. You all have every right to know about this part of my life before starting any kind of new relationship and marriage was not a joke. It's a commitment of lifetime and I didn't want to start that by hiding something as big as this..." He trailed off nervously.
"Otherwise, it would be like a deceiving on my part. I have sinned a lot in the past uncle, but I'm trying to be a better human being now." Murat smiled sadly.
"We all are sinners, Murat. I'm sorry to be blunt, but have you committed Zina?" Arsalaan questioned him again. Mashal looked at him immediately, waiting for his answer. This was the only time she has reacted to something ever since he spilt the beans. And he knew she wanted to know more.
"No, I didn't. We were together for five years. But we both were concentrating more on our carriers first. I did kiss her, a lot of times. That's about it. I didn't cross my limits. And she's out of my life for good now. I've moved on. I can promise you that she won't be coming back in my life." Murat confessed honestly, he couldn't meet any of their eyes. It was not easy to confess something like that to strangers, albeit they are his fiance and to be in-laws.
"What if she comes back in your life?" Arsalaan questioned him while Malaika gave him a look of disbelief.
"Arsalaan, no. We should call off this wedding. Our Mashal can get a much better husband anyway, she doesn't deserve to be someone's second." Malaika added sternly and just to picture Mashal with some other guy made his insides burn in jealousy. He felt so helpless and ashamed than ever before.
"Malaika, calm down. I am as furious as you. But at least he has confessed it before we proceeded further albeit late. He did confess." Arsalaan tried to calm her down.
"I promise you, uncle and auntie, if I will marry your daughter, my loyalty will be to her only. Her alone. Please trust me. I know it's hard but please."
"I'm sorry for hiding this, Mashal. I'm truly sorry. I was just so scared. I don't want to lose you. I knew confessing this meant I'd be losing you all at once which was another reason why I couldn't tell this sooner. I'm not justifying anything. I'm truly sorry." That evening, Murat has packed aside all his ego and was owning up to his mistakes. He was sorry and he has no problem in telling that aloud numerous times.
"Murat, please calm down. I knew about this already." Mashal muttered with a straight face taking everyone by surprise and shock.
"What?" All of them exclaimed in disbelief. She finally stood up, facing her parents calmly.
"I Googled you. Your sister said you were internet famous because of your job, so I did it. And I saw a few photos of you with some supermodel." She explained making him groan inwardly.
"Why didn't you say something, Mashal. What was wrong with you?" Malaika questioned her with a disappointed stare.
"Mama and Papa. You both are the ones who taught me not to judge people based on their pasts. You said the present is what matters." She said calmly.
Her parents stared at each other and then at her.
"But Mashal. We don't want to take any risk, marriage is not a joke. We will find you a better man. Don't worry," Malaika tried to make her understand.
"Mama, I agree Murat did commit a huge mistake from the Islamic point of view. I'm not defending him at all. But all I'm saying is let's not judge him. We all are sinners. He was too. He has admitted his mistake. I didn't think he would, but I was waiting for him to confess this soon. And he did." Mashal was still so calm and respectful.
"When did you find this out?" He couldn't help but ask.
"Two days ago?" Her honey brown eyes met his deep black eyes for a fraction of seconds before she looked at her parents.
Murat didn't think he deserved her but he wanted her. She is all he thought about ever since that night when she said yes. He can't imagine not having her in his life. It was just too painful to think about.
"And I still want to marry him, mama."
Murat didn't understand why would she still want to marry him. He was sure she'd reject him even if he didn't want her to. And here she was doing something which he didn't think she would, although he had hoped for this. He muttered a silent thanks to Allah for being on his side today. He fought away his tears, feeling overwhelmed.
"How can you believe him, Mashal?" Malaika didn't seem like she'd back out without cancelling this wedding but Arsalaan looked thoughtful.
"I told you, right mama? I performed salat al-Istikharah and the answer was yes. It was Allah's sign that I should marry him. And I want to trust Allah, mama." Mashal held her mother's hands assuringly. Malaika looked sceptical but thoughtful.
Arsalaan finally spoke, "I think we can take the risk and trust him to take care of our daughter, Malaika." He held his wife's shoulders.
"I have committed huge sins and you still wanted me in your life. Murat deserves a chance as well. Everyone deserves a second chance for a better life." Arsalaan's words silenced them all.
Murat took an inward sigh. He cleared his throat, "I understand your scepticism auntie. I do. But you can have my word, I'll be loyal to your daughter until I take my last breath. I'll never let my past affect my present. Mashal is my present. Please let me make her my future as well. I won't marry her if you're not happy with this. Without the parent's blessings, marriage wouldn't last long. And I want all your blessings and love auntie."
It was his duty to assure them and he vowed to stand by his words.
"Murat, I have nothing against you. You seem like a good person. I don't judge people based on their pasts. You might have learnt your lesson and honestly, it's not right of me to question your actions. But I'm just worried about my daughter. She's just.... too precious for this world. What if your ex came back and caused problems between you both? And what if you are willing to take her back?" Malaika questioned him with teary eyes.
"Please don't cry, auntie. I know it's natural for you to feel this way. But please give me one chance. Just one chance. Please trust me. I'll not let my ex, my past create any havoc on my present or my future. I want Mashal as my future, auntie. With both of your blessings of course." Murat smiled sadly. He eyed Mashal who was gazing at him with a soft smile. He couldn't believe she took his side today. He didn't think she would. But she did.
Murat remembered his promises from that evening crystal and clear. And he felt like he's failing them already as he eyed the broken camera in his hands.
Photography was something he truly loved after swimming.
"You're behaving as if I broke your ex-girlfriend's gift or something, Murat."
Mashal's words rang in his ears again and again. She meant exactly what she said. The hurt was completely evident in her eyes. What a jerk he was.
It's been twenty minutes since that incident. He knew he was so wrong in snapping at her unnecessarily. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to control his emotions which were all over the place.
He eyed the camera and then at his suitcase. And at all those scattered clothes which he still didn't pack.
He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist.
He was angry with himself for behaving this way when there was going to be a separation of five weeks. Mashal doesn't deserve to be treated this way. She was already hurt because of him in the past week. And his stupid behaviour in the morning didn't help things.
Ginny walled inside through the pet door and meowed at him. He sighed, feeling frustrated.
"What did I do, Ginny?" He talked with his cat and then stared back at the camera which caused this new chaos.
Not thinking straight, he smashed the thing into the wall, breaking it into pieces.
Ginny sprinted away, terrified of what just happened. He groaned feeling irritated.
You're behaving as if I broke your ex-girlfriend's gift or something, Murat.
Mashal's words rang in his ears once again annoying him again, because damn, it was the truth.
It was Eliza's first-ever gift to him.
He had no idea how the camera came to the bed. Maybe while carrying all the clothes, it might have gotten mixed. But as soon as when his eyes lay on that thing, he seem to have lost his mind. Bitter memories came back to haunt him and he felt like all the moments spent with Eliza shattered along with the camera.
It was like he lost her all over again. But was she ever his, to begin with?
Turns out, she has always used him. Just like how he used her initially. He deserved all the hurt. He did.
"What has gotten into you?" That familiar voice, the voice which he has gotten so close to, asked him worriedly as she took slow and cautious steps towards him.
Mashal was his present and future. He can't sabotage his present and future because of a stupid past. He should have known better.
"Murat, you've gone crazy. Why did you break it like this?" She walked towards him, to examine the broken camera but winced in pain as the glass pieces pricked her foot.
"Mashal!" He exclaimed worriedly while sweeping her off the floor and making her sit on the bed. Her nose scrunched in pain and he felt like, it was him who is in pain.
They didn't exchange any further words. But the eyes did all the talk.
Her honey brown eyes gazed at him complainingly while he cleaned up her wound. Thankfully, it wasn't very deep but still knowing how much it's hurting her was making him go crazy.
"I'll bring the first aid box," he got up but she clicked her tongue, "no need for it, it's not that deep."
He ignored her and walked to the bedside table, taking out a small rectangular box.
Walking back to the bed, Murat sat on his knees tensely and held her foot in his hands, grabbing them gently.
"Is it hurting so much?" His voice laced with worry as he applied some ointment.
"Yes. It's hurting so much." Mashal whispered sadly.
He lifted his head and gazed into her eyes. He could see brims of tears in them. His stomach twisted painfully at that sight.
"It's hurting here, in my heart. Not there," she added bitterly taking him off guard.
"It's given by her, isn't it?" She asked as a drop of tear rolled down her cheeks, she pulled back her leg from his hold and got up to leave but he clasped her hands tightly and stopped her almost at once.
"Mashal, please listen to me." Her back was facing him. She didn't want to face him it seemed.
"Murat, leave me." Her voice cracked at the end. He pulled her close to him, placing his face on her shoulders as he back hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go. She shivered at their proximity.
"Mashal." Her name came out as a whisper. He could hear her whimpering silently which made him remorseful.
He has made her cry more than just once today. He already felt like a failure.
"Murat. You can't cheat on me. I won't tolerate it." She whispered painfully making him freeze. Immediately he broke the hug and turned her around, making her face him. Her eyes looked bloodshot red due to the tears.
"When did I ever give you an impression that I'll cheat on you, Mashal?" Murat sounded hurt.
"Just now." She replied bitterly. He stumbled back, feeling anguish.
"By seeing a small gift from her brought such a negative impact on you. I wonder what will happen if she comes back to you, or if you'd face her again. I don't know, Murat. I don't know if I can trust you." Mashal couldn't help but let her tears flow this time.
"You know when I first found out about you and her. I was so hurt. So furious. I couldn't believe it. Shouldn't I be knowing this important part of your life as a finacé?" She questioned him sadly.
"I made up my mind by then, If you were not going to confess anything before our marriage I was going to say no. I didn't want to marry you." Almost immediately, his hands go to hold her close to him, fearing she might leave him otherwise. Mashal didn't protest his touch.
"But you took me by surprise and confessed everything not just to me but my whole family. You fought for me. You were honest. That's why I said yes that day." She gave him an accusing look making him more guilty.
"Mashal. I just..." He didn't find the right words to explain further and she didn't probe him. There was only silence.
"You won't leave me right?"
His heart pained knowing how much she was hurting because of him.
"Eliza. She was my past. But you are my present, my future and my whole everything. I would never dare to do something like that, Mashal. I would never do that to you." She tensed in his embrace hearing his ex's name but relaxed at the end.
"Promise?" She hugged him back, just as tightly.
"Promise," he placed a gentle kiss on the crown of her head.
"Let me clean up this mess, you sit here." He wanted to drag her to the bed, but she held onto him tightly. Not leaving him. A small smile appeared on his face.
"I guess Ginny got scared because of me. I was not in my senses." He eyed the broken camera in regret. She tightened the hug making him smile.
"Oh yes. You weren't. Don't you snap at me unnecessarily ever again," Mashal broke the hug and glared at him accusingly.
Murat chuckled nervously with a nod of his head.
"I won't. I guess I'm short-tempered. I'll try to behave."
"You better," she fisted his shirt tightly, looking up into his deep black eyes which gazed back at her with unknown emotions.
"Anything for you, Mashal." He replied sweetly making her cheeks turn red. He sighed inwardly, knowing things were falling in place once again. She left his shirt casually and walked towards the bed. Pretending she didn't just blush.
Don't screw it up again, Murat. His subconscious warned him and he was determined not to be stupid anymore.
"Shall we go out?" He questioned while sitting beside her, she looked thoughtful but nodded her head.
Staying at home after this fight seemed like a bad idea and going out will probably help refresh their mind.
"But where?" She asked.
"Nowhere actually. We will just take a walk in the neighbourhood. Have a cup of coffee in the cafe next street. And then come back home to pack my bag." Both their faces fell as he mentioned about leaving tomorrow.
"Can't you stay?" She intertwined their fingers tightly. Looking hopeful.
"I wish, but this needs to be done." He tightened his hold on their intertwined hands. He didn't want to leave her either, especially when their relationship become so delicate all of a sudden.
Especially when he knew Eliza Hossain is going to be the main face of the commercial which his team will be shooting for the next five weeks.
What has he gotten himself into?