Mashal felt very welcomed in her in-law's home, they were all kind so far. That's what she thought anyway. With each passing moment, she was reconsidering her opinions.
"Alhamdulillah, I'm so glad you're back home after so long. You don't visit us anymore," Hania huffed as she caressed her son's face, who smiled at her sheepishly. He had so many notifications pinging him back to back, Mashal could see how his hands were twitching to check them out. But he knew better than not to.
They were seated in the huge living room of the Saeed family home. Murat sat beside his mother while Mashal had the misfortune of sitting beside his twin, who made it crystal clear that she didn't like her all that much. Mashal swallowed another lump in her throat as she watched everything cautiously, putting up a happy facade. They stayed the night here yesterday and Syra decided to meet her brother today, so here they are. Murat was right across her. It shouldn't be a big deal.
Syra couldn't be too bad anyway. Except her ego was too fragile that she's still holding onto the incident that happened back when they got married. The one where she denied permitting her to post their intimate moments on social media. Who knew that she'd still hold a grudge?
"He has someone else to take care of know, ammi. How would Murat remember us now? His phone calls are also turning into a namesake formality these days," Syra smiled slyly as she ate her bowl of pomegranate, her little daughter, Shazia laid beside her carelessly. Her words were almost like silly teasing but only it wasn't.
"Syra, you know it's not true." Murat became defensive as he rested his head on his mother's shoulders, making her grin at him. She didn't say anything about her daughter's comments which meant even she might have similar opinions.
Mashal's insides twisted painfully at her sister in law's choice of words, but she kept quiet anyway. Her parents have always taught her to ignore negativity and she's going to do just that. Even though the said negative person happens to be very close to her husband, she's going to remain calm. Her face turned from happy to neutral, not giving Syra the satisfaction of getting under her nerves because that's exactly what she wanted.
"It's not like that and you guys know it," Murat sighed as he glanced at his sister. Little Shazia cooed happily beside her mother, he walked towards them and took his niece in his arms with a fond smile on his face and at the same time he managed to pass one of his charming smiles to his wife as well, whose face flushed deep red. Their stupid arguments from yesterday and the silence which followed it remained forgotten for a while.
"I have always been busy. But I called every day. Like I promised I would," Murat sat back on his seat beside his mother, who nodded her head with a small smile.
"You did, but you weren't always like this you know." Hania smiled sadly. Almost as if thinking about the changed Murat pained her.
"Yes, Eliza's influence has ruined you," Syra spoke carelessly while she chewed the juicy pomegranate seeds.
Mashal was so lost in her own world, enjoying the sight of her husband holding his baby niece ever so gently with that warmest smile on his face. For a split second, she began to picture him with the baby of their own. A little Murat or Mashal sounded like a dream and that thought almost made her freeze. He or she will have their whole heart. It would be the symbol of their love. A mixture of both him and her. A little baby with either darkest black eyes or deepest brown eyes. She'd personally prefer black eyes, the one she began to fall in love with so maddeningly these days. Murat would spoil their baby rotten just like how he takes care of her. He was everything she has ever dreamt of and he would make an amazing father.
The moment didn't last long as she heard her sister in law take that one name which seemed like the biggest threat to their marriage. Her eyes lingered a bit more on her husband as she observed how uncomfortable he became as soon as Eliza was mentioned.
That makes the two of us, Murat. She thought bitterly. Suddenly her heartbeats rose. What if Eliza came back? The question has always left her clueless and insecure, but the past two days have been nothing but the worst nightmare for her. It was like a sign. A foreshadow or something. Maybe she was being paranoid.
Their married life already seemed too fragile even before Eliza Hossain could ever make a reappearance. She felt sick from within.
"I agree, Eliza did ruin you like this. You weren't so shallow and money-minded before. She made you something you were not. I wish I could see you like my old Murat. The one who took out time for family. The one who didn't bother about money or losses. The one who loved endlessly. I miss my old son, you know." Hania added emotionally while Murat sat frozen to his spot. Observing everything his mother told. Shazia giggled on her own, enjoying being in her uncle's arms.
It was entirely something else for Mashal. To hear that one person's name again and again, whom she loathed the most. It wasn't her happy moments. But she could see the love her mother in law had for her husband as she spoke every word. She must be so deeply hurt to continue talking about his ex knowing very well how much it bothers him. Hania seemed like she wanted to make a point and it was working very well. Murat looked thoughtful about his mother's words.
When did Eliza Hossain become such a common topic to discuss anyway?
Mashal hated every second of it. Knowing how much that woman has ruined her husband. Knowing what all precious moments she had with him. Even if it was in the past. It still made her jealous. She was his first love after all.
"I could see why you chose her. I know tall and beautiful girls like Eliza are pretty alluring. Enchanting and what not. But you shouldn't forget your values, Murat. Your family is more important than anyone else. You should learn to put us first." Syra spoke the word tall like a taunt at Mashal. Taking a jab at her height and it has hit the nerve as she wanted it to.
Mashal stood up abruptly, "excuse me, I'll just be back. Mama is calling me, " With a convenient lie, she walked in her husband's childhood bedroom's direction. She could clearly see the attention it has drawn but it didn't matter. All that mattered at that moment was her sanity which she'll surely lose if she heard about her husband's ex one more time that day.
She has had enough of Eliza Hossain.
She never even met that woman but everything in her despises her. Does it make her a bad person?
As soon as she stepped inside this room, she took a deep breath and composed herself. It's going to be okay. She told herself with a determined look as she walked towards the mirror in his room.
It wasn't huge like they had back at home. But she didn't care at the moment.
Mashal's reflection stared back at her dully, her face was devoid of any makeup except for eyeliner. It made her eyes pop up uniquely and that's about it. She wore a plain white Anarkali salwar paired with a multi-coloured dupatta that day. Her long jhumkas added to its beauty. Her hair was left open, just like Murat liked.
Mashal knew she was beautiful. She doesn't need anyone else's validation on that. But height has always been a sour subject for her. She wasn't that tall but she wasn't so short either.
People don't realise how they causally comment on things and how deeply it affects the receiving person. She was at the receiving end of such not so funny jokes that people throw at her for over two decades now.
She knew what her sister in law did there, compared her with Murat's ex in a degrading manner just because she was shorter than her. How stupid and silly, yet it hurt so bad.
"Mashal?" She heard that familiar husky voice that startled her for a second. Putting on a fake smile, she turned to face her husband who looked guilty and apologetic.
"Yes, Murat?" She raised her brows while he locked the door and turned to face her, the guilt still remained evident in his eyes.
"I'm sorry for what happened back there. They didn't mean to be insensitive by bringing up my ex while you were still there. They won't do this again, I promise." He walked towards her and held her hands in his, she nodded with a shrug. The fake smile disappeared on its own.
"I know they just want you to spend some time with them or maybe I'm being silly by reacting like this. But I have heard too much of Eliza in the past two days combined, I don't like it, you know. I don't like it at all," Mashal sighed while he held her chin and made her face him.
"I know Syra's words have hurt you deeply. I don't know why she said what she said, but let me tell you something," she wanted to get away from his hold, but he tightened his grip on her as he snaked his arms around her petite waist and pulled her close to him. She breathed against him, softly and angrily.
"You look beautiful, just the way you are, Mashal. Yes, you're short. So what? I like your height you know, it makes it easier for me to carry you whenever I want. I wouldn't want it any other way," he kissed her jawline making her breathing uneven.
"I don't like when people comment on my height," She sulked.
"You and Eliza are two completely different human beings and don't you ever compare yourself with her. She's my past. She's gone from my life, for good. But you're my present and my future. And I have no interest in dwelling in the past. I hope you don't do that. I'll warn my family to never bring her up again. But don't you ever compare yourself with her, okay?" He cupped her face and explained calmly.
Mashal felt butterflies all over her stomach as he spoke so tenderly and genuinely. His each and every word, it meat so much to her. She felt touched and cared for. Her husband was such a good man and she felt so blessed to be tied with him for a lifetime. She gazed at him affectionately, admiring his good heart, although one can't see it, she can very much feel it.
"Okay?" He asked again. She nodded meekly while he kissed her collarbone, just beside where she liked his kisses the most. She arched her neck, giving him more access. More like demanding him to kiss her where she liked the most.
Her toes curled in shyness as she felt him smile against her skin, but he obliged her request and kissed her just like she wanted to be kissed.
Mashal grabbed onto his muscular arms, fearing she'd fall down as her toes felt jelly and shaking. But deep down she knew her husband would never let her fall. Not when he was there anyway. He continued to torture her with his continuous kisses.
Their breath hitched at the proximity.
"Murat," she called his name in pleasure, he paused what he was doing and looked into her gorgeous brown eyes, which pooled with intense need.
"Murat, about yesterday."
That broke all the enchantment, he stopped kissing her all at once and gazed at her face. They didn't speak the whole evening yesterday with Murat being busy with his parents and the whole day was spent like that, they bother pretended anything didn't happen this morning and continued talking randomly. But it wasn't the same. They both knew it.
"I'm sorry for not telling you about Kaif earlier, Mashal. I know you didn't deserve to be kept in the dark. You were just too happy to get your first ever job and I didn't want to ruin it for you by mentioning who your boss was." He sighed while tucking her hair strands under her ears. She felt goosebumps all over her body for just one simple act.
Gosh! Was she already hopelessly falling in love with him?
"Your anger was justified I get it. But please don't be like this, I hate it when you don't talk with me." He caressed her soft cheeks as she gazed into his deep black eyes that stared at her fondly. She sighed inwardly debating if she should let it go.
There was a sudden distance between them as she walked towards his bed and sat down with a small frown remembering the events of yesterday. She hasn't forgotten them to begin with.
But what's the result of this anyway? Only she's getting affected negatively because of not talking with him. Even if he does feel bad about his actions, what if her anger drove him away from her?
Murat took a seat beside her, there was ample space between them and she didn't like it. She might seem clingy but she liked sitting close to him, their thighs brushing and also the skin to skin contact. It was intimate in its own way.
Her anger was ruining all these small moments and she didn't want that.
"You told me I'm a people pleaser!" She couldn't help but ask him accusingly. But he shook his head, "do you think you're not?" He cross-questioned her.
Mashal had no reply to that. Because she knows that's the truth.
"I know, Murat. I know" She chuckled dryly. He nodded while admiring her eyes, "and I don't like it. You could just say it face to face if you don't like something. Why put on a pretence?" He asked while she looked sceptical.
"I know what my sister told you back there didn't sit well with you. You could have told her to stop. Maybe stood up for yourself?" He asked her quizzically.
"It's not like I don't know how to stand up for myself. I can do that. It's just a habit of mine that is deep-rooted within me, I can't seem to get rid of it easily. I always want to be in the good books of everyone. It's like I can't stand it if someone didn't like me. People have always liked me. Everyone did."
There was a small pause. He interviewed their hands and gave them a little squeeze. She smiled at that gesture.
"I don't know what it is to be not liked by someone until I met you. I thought you hated me so much for no particular reason and it drove me insane."
Murat understood what she was talking about. The earlier days where he was still moping over Eliza and looking at her would always remind him of her. He'd take it out as anger. She's been the victim of it once or twice.
"I usually don't behave in a way that makes anyone dislike me anyway. I don't socialize much thankfully. But if they talk about something which I don't agree with, I'll simply walk away from that conversation. Saves all of us from unwanted headaches. That's how I have always been." She sighed inwardly.
"I can't help it." She added bitterly.
"But you always fight with me," Murat asked in amusement. It was happening a lot these days.
That is what scares her the most these days. What if she got too angry and he decided he didn't like her anymore? What happens then? Was it even possible?
"You seem to bring that side of me which I've always kept well hidden."
Murat chuckled as he asked her to scoot close to him, "come here," He said.
She moved willingly as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, "you can fight with me all you want as long as it's reasonable and I'll try my best to not make you very angry,"
Both of them laughed at that line.
"Just know this, Mashal. You can't always please everyone. It's not possible. Maybe there will be some days your anger might drive me crazy but that doesn't mean I'll leave you once and for all like you think I would. That's a bit far fetched. Maybe I'll get angry in return and fight with you more as every normal married couple do."
"I think your sister doesn't like me that much after our wedding night. I guess it's because I refused her to film our private moment. Call me superstitious but I'm like that. The first time I tell no to someone, she ended up being passive-aggressive. That's why I just agree with whatever people say." Mashal sighed feeling defeated.
"Maybe you're right. Syra is someone who doesn't forget things easily. But I'll have a word with her. Don't worry. She shouldn't be taunting your height whatsoever is the reason." Murat replied possessively, but she shook her head in negative, "no, don't do that. I'll personally apologize to her. Maybe it was her dream to see her twin's happy married life and show it off to people. I should have respected her feelings but I didn't, so I'll apologize." Mashal stopped him from doing further damage to their already weakened bond.
If Syra is what she thinks she is, then Murat meddling in the issue will only make things worse. Mashal didn't want that.
"So when are we going back home?" She asked a bit too eagerly, Murat looked a bit sheepish. He didn't meet her eyes. She was suddenly very confused.
"Ammi asked us to stay for three-four days and I said yes." He answered hesitantly and noticed how her face went pale.
"You did what?" She stood up angrily, away from his hold and glared at him.
"And you didn't think it is important to let me know?" Her eyes were suddenly red with anger.
Here's the thing, Mashal is always self-composed and thinks hundred times before speaking something but Murat naturally brings the different side of her.
"I know, I'm sorry. She was asking me to stay for a very long time and now that I'm finally free from work and you're also free. So I thought why not?" Murat tried to touch her hands, but she jerked them away.
"Unemployed you mean?" She mocked angrily and he ran his hands through his hair while trying to control himself.
"You know why I was more pissed off yesterday? Not because you called me a people pleaser. But because you hide things from me. You didn't tell me about Kaif and you weren't really going to tell me about those articles as well and now this!" She glared at him disappointedly.
"If we both are going to stay, you should have come and asked my opinion. How can you decide if I want to stay here or not, Murat?"
"We are both equals in this marriage right? You don't make me feel that way, Murat!"
His silence only angered her more.
"Why are you silent now? Talk something."
"I'm sorry I didn't ask you, you can leave if you want to. I'll stay with my parents and come back after four days" He said with a defeated sigh and walked out of there. She stood there rooted to her spot. Completely taken aback.
Mashal felt like throwing something at him. She didn't feel like this in a long time. But now she really did.
She couldn't help but wonder, why are they fighting so much these days?
***
"Hi, auntie. Do you want any help with cooking?" Mashal walked into the kitchen hesitantly and asked her mother in law with a polite smile. She felt bored out of her mind and Murat was nowhere to be found after that argument. She decided to bond a little with her mother in law.
Hania shook her head with a wide smile, "no dear, I'm almost done. What were you doing?"
"I was chatting with my sister. She's asking me about Ginny's food time." Haina nodded whilst arranging the dining table, Mashal gave her a helping hand and together they set the table.
"How's Ginny anyway? I'm allergic to cats you know. Thank god Murat got her after moving out." Hania chuckled.
"My sister is taking care of her in our absence. Harry, Meher's cat has a crush on Ginny I think. She doesn't like him though. That guy is trying hard to charm her." Mashal finally felt at ease as they both laughed.
"Harry and Ginny, huh?" Hania grinned cheekily.
"Yes. What a sweet coincidence, right? And they like each other too. Ginny might not show it, but I think she's playing hard to get. Let's see where this goes," the duo giggled again.
"And Mashal?"
"Yes, auntie?" There was a sudden silence and Mashal knew where this was going.
"If it's about the morning incident, then it's okay, auntie. I'm alright now. Sorry for walking out like that," Mashal tried to smile but it didn't reach her eyes.
Hania squeezed her shoulders, "no, dear. We were being insensitive by bringing up his ex in front of you. We should never have done that and I'm sorry about that."
"Auntie, please don't ask sorry. It's okay. I didn't like it yes. But it's okay. Let's forget it." Mashal smiled softly. Hania nodded understandingly.
"Is Murat keeping you happy?" Her mother in law's cautious words took her off guard. Mashal stilled for a second before giving her a small smile. It was small but her eyes twinkled brightly, clearly showing her happiness from within.
"He does take care of me. But sometimes he also drives me crazy." She sighed inwardly.
"I don't think I should say anything in this matter, but dear, I have noticed you both haven't talked anything yesterday," Hania spoke gently but Mashal's ears turned pink in embarrassment. This wasn't the conversation she was hoping to have with her mother in law.
"It's nothing. Just a small disagreement." Mashal couldn't look at her in the eyes.
Hania smiled softly, "it's alright. The earlier days of marriage is very delicate and important. These are the days you should be building a strong basement for your relationship which will strengthen years long of marriage. I hope whatever it is, please sort it out."
"Um, thanks, auntie." Mashal honestly had no idea what to say. It was very embarrassing to have this conversation, to begin with. She wasn't very comfortable about discussing her marriage with anyone, let alone Murat's own mother.
"Just a small piece of advice, don't go to bed without sorting out your issues. It always helped me and Saad." Hania added gently.
"What are you both talking about?" Syra's over-enthusiastic voice broke their moment and Mashal was very glad to have this interruption. She gave a tight-lipped smile to her sister in law, who raised her brows at both of them. Shazia glanced at all of them from her mother's arms curiously.
"Nothing. Just a small secret between mother in law and daughter in law," Hania waved it off with a grin and dragged Mashal to sit on the dining table. Just like everything else, the dining room was also lavish in the Saeed family home.
Syra followed them along with an amused look.
"Can I hold her?" Mashal asked her sister in law, she hadn't held Shazia till now but now she wanted to. Syra looked hesitant but passed her the baby anyway.
"Murat loves her," She blurted out randomly while smiling at the little girl in her arms, who cooed happily.
"He's so easy going with babies, Masha Allah." Syra gushed. Hania nodded with a fond smile.
"So when are we having the good news?" Syra grinned whilst popping in a piece of apple that was on the dining table.
"Excuse me?" Mashal didn't get her for a second before realization dawned upon her. Heat raised on her cheeks suddenly.
"Whenever Allah wills," she added meekly and noticed the knowing smiles both the mother and daughter passed each other.
"Insha Allah, one day. Enjoy your alone time until then," Hania added cheekily making Mashal more red. She wanted the earth to swallow her at the moment. But too bad she could only hope.
"Ammi someone is asking for you," Murat's deep voice caught everyone's attention as he walked into the dining room and little Shazia got too excited seeing her uncle and threw her arms up, wanting to jump into his arms. Her actions caused Mashal to lose balance on her and she was about to drop Shazia but Murat caught her on time.
There was a pin drop silence as they eyed Shaiza. Thank god that she was safe.
Mashal's heartbeats rose frantically as everyone's accusing eyes fell upon her.
"I'm sorry, I-just." She didn't know what to say but Syra looked so enraged.
"Ammi ask her to get out of here," Syra demanded furiously. Murat's eyes widened in disbelief as he rocked his crying niece in his arms. The sudden movements have startled her and she was crying hysterically.
"What are you saying?" He asked his twin in disbelief.
"I don't want to look at her, Murat. She almost killed my baby, what do you want me to say?" Syra snapped in irritation.
Murat looked at his mother but she had nothing to say. He glanced at his wife helplessly, whose eyes welled up with unshed tears.
"I'll just leave, you can stay here for as long as you want!" Mashal stood up abruptly and walked out of there. Her steps were painfully slow.
No one cared to stop her. Not even Murat.
That's how the first crack in their marriage was formed. And Mashal had no idea where this was going to end.