Chapter 34: Conflicted Feelings

Jace Herondale

It shouldn’t have, but Hera going out on that date really pissed me off. I knew I had little right to be angry; she didn’t owe me anything, and I’d barely even seen her in the week since our near miss.

But I couldn’t help the jealous rage that boiled through my veins when I found her on the porch with that guy. And when I thought he’d hurt her? I wanted to pummel his face in. I still didn’t know if it was like she’d claimed, that they’d just bumped heads when he tried to kiss her, but Hera had never lied to me, as far as I knew.

On my drive to the hospital, I called to check on Isabelle to check how she was doing. Maybe sooner or later I'll have to tell her about Hera, My life these days consisted of obligations. I worked, slept, hit the gym, studied, checked in on my mom and sister, worked some more. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. I knew there was a purpose, knew there was a reason I was doing this, but fuck, some days it was hard to remember what that reason was.

Tonight the urge to stay home and make sure Hera was okay was stronger than ever. Just say fuck it to my never-ending responsibilities and hang out with someone who made me feel comfortable, at ease, and a whole lot turned on.

I wouldn’t push Hera for more, wouldn’t push her on the sex we were supposed to have. Did I want to finish what we started? Of course I did. Getting interrupted that night had almost killed me. Hera had been so hot, so tight, so responsive.

I wanted her. Badly. It didn’t help that I’d fantasized about having her for the last decade. Pulling out before I was even really inside her had been the worst form of torture imaginable. Everything inside me was screaming no from the second I’d heard that pounding at the door. Then less than a week after I’d had her in my bed, wet and eager, she was out on a date with some other guy.

But I had to suck it up and go to work. Even though I knew tonight’s shift would crawl by, since I’d be counting the hours until I could see her this weekend

****

Hera's P.O.V.

A whispered voice at the edge of my bed woke me. “Hera?”

“Yeah?” I slurred, blinking in the darkness. The only light came from the hallway, casting the room in shadows.

Jace’s shadowy form stood a few feet from where I slept. He said nothing, just crossed the room and sat beside me on the bed.

Groggy and confused, I lifted my head. “What time is it?”

“About one in the morning. We were overstaffed and slow, so they sent me home early.”

That didn’t explain what he was doing in my bedroom. I blinked at him slowly.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he continued.

It took me a second to remember what had happened earlier. I’d gone on a date with Daniel the Douche and ended up with a bloody nose. It hadn’t hurt much, so the blood had surprised me.

“I’m fine,” I said.

Jace’s warm palm found my cheek, and he brushed the hair back from my face. “Couldn’t sleep till I made sure you were all right.”

I swallowed, leaning into his touch, enjoying the way his strong fingers felt moving through my hair, stroking my scalp. Letting my eyes slip closed, I murmured something unintelligible, and Jace chuckled.

“Just rest, princess. Sorry I woke you.”

I felt his lips on my forehead, and then the mattress shifted as he rose from the bed. Missing his warm, masculine touch almost immediately, I reached out toward him.

“Don’t go. Not yet,” I whispered.

Normally, I would have been too ashamed to say that. I would have forced myself to be an adult and let him leave. But deep in the night, in the pitch-black darkness, I could ask for what I wanted. I didn’t have to look at his face or worry about what he saw on mine. Nothing that happened between midnight and sunrise counted; I could hide behind the strange darkness that blanketed the world when everyone we knew was asleep. And in the daylight, I could write off this slipup as a dream.

He hesitated for the briefest of moments, and I moved over, making room in the bed.

Then he climbed in beside me, lying down on top of the covers, and in his calming presence, I fell back to sleep almost instantly.

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