Song Jing couldn't sleep.
Just then, a light knock sounded from outside the bedroom door.
"Who is it?" Song Jing asked.
Beside him, Madam Cui, who had been woken by the noise, sat up groggily. Seeing Song Jing without a trace of drowsiness, she asked in confusion, "Aji, what's wrong?"
Outside the door, Song Gan said softly, "Young Master Shi'an has returned."
"..." Hearing this, Madam Cui said with both surprise and disgust, "Aji, didn't we tell that boy not to come back?"
"Tell him to leave. Don't let him through the door!"
Song Jing had long since had his heart broken by Song Shi'an, and he immediately said angrily.
However, after a brief silence, Song Gan spoke with trepidation: "Laoye, he's already in the main hall."
"This Song Gan is truly audacious, daring to act on his own authority!"
Madam Cui pointed angrily toward the door, finding it inconceivable.
Song Gan's original surname wasn't Song, but after all these years of diligent and loyal service to the household, he had been granted the Song surname.
Even his son had received this grace, being given a hundred mu of good farmland.
It could be said that in terms of relationship, he was already considered family.
But that didn't mean he truly was family.
The reason he could receive such favor was entirely due to his usual ability to read expressions, his cautious and meticulous nature, and his understanding of boundaries—these qualities allowed him to be valued by the family head.
But now, in Madam Cui's eyes, he was "not knowing what's good for him."
"Wait here."
Song Jing held his breath before exhaling, then got up, draped a robe over himself, put on his slippers, and prepared to leave.
At this moment, Madam Cui called out with some displeasure: "Aji, it's not like you don't have a son—Ce is your son. After Song Shi'an became jieyuan, does he think he's part of the Song family now? Just think—if Ce had become jieyuan, would he treat you like this?"
"I know. You sleep."
On this matter, Song Jing was rarely not angered, responding calmly before leaving the room.
Seeing him emerge, Song Gan immediately positioned himself half a body-length behind, holding a lantern to guide him toward the main hall.
Before long, the two arrived at the entrance.
The door was already open.
All the lamps inside had been lit in advance.
After Song Jing entered, Song Gan closed the door and slowly departed.
He hadn't gone far when the doorman who had opened the door said with some fear: "Uncle, we took it upon ourselves to let Song Shi'an in... and even let him go to the main hall. What if Laoye gets angry?"
"Just say it was all my idea."
After saying this, Song Gan pointed at him and sternly rebuked in a low voice: "Also, from now on you must call him Young Master Shi'an, or I'll smash your mouth!"
………
After entering the hall, Song Jing saw Song Shi'an standing to the side, hands placed in front of him, head lowered, composed and obedient.
After a glance, Song Jing walked to the seat of honor above and sat down.
And Song Shi'an still kept his head lowered, not looking at him.
This, at least, was like the old him.
Before the examinations, afraid of being reprimanded, he was the spineless son who never dared make eye contact with his father.
When His Majesty said he was good at teaching his son, Song Jing felt it was somewhat ironic.
To have things come to this with his son—wasn't it a kind of desolation?
"A gentleman should be good at concealing—you certainly are good at concealing."
With a derisive laugh, looking at him, Song Jing said with growing understanding: "Your stepmother gave birth to Ce late, and you're the eldest son, so she treated you with hostility at every turn. Therefore in all things, you hid your talents and didn't compete with Song Ce for attention. At fourteen you also passed the xiucai examination, but at that time your stepmother was jealous, scolding you for being complacent, arrogant, not following the rules, and she spoke harshly to your mother. So you deliberately sullied your reputation, indulging in wine and women, mixing with fair-weather friends in pleasure quarters, using this to establish your position in the Song Estate."
"That's right—how could someone who could write 'An Exhortation to Learning' possibly be an incompetent mediocrity who doesn't study diligently?"
As he spoke, Song Jing laughed and shook his head: "The first two times you didn't pass, and this time you waited until Song Ce took the exam before getting serious, suddenly taking first place in both subjects. You're a genius, Song Shi'an."
"By rights, with such forbearance, you shouldn't have spread your wings to fly just when they grew strong. On the contrary, waiting for Song Ce to pass before you took the exam shows even more that you wanted to stay peacefully in this family, under your stepmother's hostility, in the position of an illegitimate son. Why did you suddenly stop enduring it?"
Song Shi'an didn't speak, remaining silent.
"Perhaps you originally thought this way. But suddenly, you became unwilling."
Staring at those emotionless eyes, Song Jing speculated: "You're brilliantly talented and unwilling to humble yourself. At twenty years old, you've reached an age where you want to accomplish great achievements. So you forced your way through the main gate, you deliberately didn't return home—you wanted to vent all these years of inner resentment. You passed the jieyuan examination, you understood His Majesty's intentions, you can become a blade in His Majesty's hand. Therefore, you no longer want to be constrained."
"You think... you know I favor Song Ce, and even though you passed jieyuan, I still won't use my influence to support you. So you spoke those wild words at Minister Sun's estate—that you'll rely entirely on your own efforts, risk your life, to gain wealth and status."
"You said you'd return. I guess it's after your appointment ceremony, after you've made your own decision. Or perhaps many years later, when glory adorns you, when you've proven you're no worse than anyone, then you'll return home in glory."
After nodding in acknowledgment, Song Jing raised his hand and said as calmly as possible: "No need, Lord Song. I won't enjoy your blessings. You may leave."
By the end, there was no emotion left in his voice.
Slowly, Song Shi'an walked before him.
From his sleeve, he took out a pure gold crouching tiger and placed it to one side.
Then he slowly stepped back, turned around, and walked toward the outside.
Looking at this golden tiger, Song Jing gave a bitter, melancholic laugh.
But thinking of how the other party hadn't said a single word from beginning to end, and was leaving step by step with such determination, he suddenly stood up, gripping that golden tiger and smashing it down hard.
The wooden floor immediately had a groove smashed into it.
But Song Shi'an only paused briefly before continuing to walk away.
His heart had completely turned cold.
But along with the cold came anger.
Anger that he didn't know how to release.
And suddenly, just as he was about to push open the door and leave, Song Shi'an hesitated for the first time.
Gradually, he turned his head.
"Speak! Say all the hatred you've accumulated all these years!"
Pointing at Song Shi'an, Song Jing's finger trembled: "Speak of all the grievances you feel you've suffered. Yes, mainly toward me. After Song Ce was born, my favoritism made you sad, made you hate me—then say it. Aren't you supposed to speak in verse? Come, curse me! However much you hate me, curse it all out!"
These words were already extremely harsh.
Taking what little family affection remained and subjecting it to torture.
Song Jing no longer cared about dignity.
But what he saw was that in Song Shi'an's eyes, there wasn't a trace of hatred.
On the contrary—
There was reluctance.
For the first time today, he raised his head and looked into his father's eyes.
And for the first time today, he finally spoke: "When you handle official business, you always forget to eat and sleep. In the evening you don't want to trouble the servants, so you often eat cold food, which causes your abdomen to cramp from time to time..."
"..."
Song Jing, who had been glaring at Song Shi'an, felt his pupils tremble slightly after hearing these words.
Sourness suddenly surged from his heart, spreading throughout his limbs, leaving him speechless for a long time.
Clasping his hands in a formal bow, Song Shi'an gave Song Jing a deep salute. Though his voice caught, he spoke as clearly and composedly as possible: "After your son departs... I hope Father will take care of his health... and eat his meals on time."
After speaking those last two words with a trembling voice, without waiting for Song Jing to respond, he quickly turned and left the house.