W I N T E R
My heart felt like it would explode at any moment while we were dancing and sharing an intense eye lock.
I couldn't look away from his eyes, I felt like they were calling unto me. They felt so warm and familiar and soft.
With both my hands interlocked and placed behind his head, they itched to just move around his body. I want to feel his soft hair in between my fingers and maybe trail it down his neck.
Am I crazy for wanting to stay like this forever?
You're having such a wonderful time here with him; your husband. Damian's memory is still alive.
My eyes shot open.
You're dancing ever so peaceful with another man, gazing into his eyes and wishing you could take him in your hands and kiss him while Damian's body is rotting away in his grave?
You know he'd be around your age now? Living peacefully with his sister, Rachel.
I stopped swaying knowing my expression has gone sour.
"........" I saw Leonardo's lips move but I couldn't make up what he was saying to me.
My hands dropped to my sides as I took steps back from him.
You killed him!
What you did was unforgivable!
You're not permitted to be happy.
You should die!
You can't fall in love with anyone!
Get out of here!
My mind judged and judged me causing me to seal my eyes shut before placing both my hands on either side of my head.
He should be alive, you shouldn't.
You know you're a murderer!
You never really loved Damian!
"N-no." I whispered to myself whilst moving away from Leonardo.
Damian deserved better than you who's trying to move on so quickly.
"No, shut up!" I yelled at myself.
At this point my mind felt hazy, it felt like the room was spinning and my head was being pounded. I went down and buried my face in my hands.
"....." Someone tried to touch me and say something but I couldn't decipher what was going on. All I knew was that I didn't want anyone to touch me.
"Leave me alone!" I pushed the person off and looked up.
It was him.
With teary eyes I looked around me. The music had stopped and everyone was staring at me with both concern and pity.
"Wi-."
Without thinking, I got up to my feet and ran as fast as I could outside. The howling wind coupled with cold air was a reminder that it was winter.
It didn't feel this much cold earlier how come it's freezing?
I rubbed my palms against arms to induce warmth which worked for only a split second as I went down and sat on a brick outside.
"Winter?" Rachel called with uncertainty causing me to follow the sound of her voice.
"I'm here!" I answered while waving my hand in the air.
My straight lips turn upwards into a smile when I see Rachel hurriedly walking towards me.
"I'm f-." I couldn't even get a word in before she engulfed me in a tight embrace.
"I love you, you know that right?" She reassured me and I nod my head.
"What happened in there?" She pulled out of the hug and tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.
"I'm alright I swear!" I assured her. "I don't know. There are just times where when I'm having fun, I remember how much Damian suffered because of me and I feel like I shouldn't be happy." I explained.
"Winter..." Rachel dragged with a glint of sadness in her eyes.
I grabbed her hand. "Don't tell dad! I'm okay I promise." I yelled.
"I won't tell him. I think you should start seeing the therapist again." She suggested.
"I'm not crazy, I don't need to see her again."
"You're mental health is still very fragile, I don't mean frequent visits just once in a while."
"I'll think about it." I lied.
"Leo's very worried about you." Rachel sighed.
"He probably thinks I'm crazy doesn't he?" I fiddled with the hem of my blue satin dress.
"You know, I rarely see any emotion from Leo but today I saw three different emotions in his eyes." She started. I looked at her urging her to go on.
"I've known him for quite a while and I just want to tell you that I've never seen him look at any other woman the way he looked at you today." She continued.
"When your episode started, he had a scared look on which is normal because you just started yelling for no reason." She agreed with him.
"Two," She counted using her fingers. "After you ran out of the hall he was going to run after you but I stopped him and decided to come instead. His eyes showed worry." She concluded.
"Three," She counted using her fingers again. Girl did you see how he was staring at you today? He really couldn't take his eyes off you and he didn't even hide it. He stared at you with so much adoration. In conclusion, I think my man Leo has actually fallen for you." She decided.
My eyes widened.
"What?" I yelled. "That's impossible." I refuted her claims.
"You didn't realize it?" Her expression dulled.
"How did you conclude all this within three hours?" I questioned her.
"His body language gave him away. I didn't think he'd fall in love with you and especially not this soon." She commented.
"Can you just stop teasing Leonardo?" I rolled my eyes.
Her eyes brightened, "Why? Does it bother you that I tease him?" She teased.
"Why would I be bothered? It's just weird talking about him when he's not here." I defended myself.
"Winter what do you feel for Leo? And just how did you both go from not being able to stand each other to looking at each other with ogling eyes?"
What do I feel for Leo?
First I'm mad as fuck that he couldn't compliment my dress when literally everyone complimented how I looked.
I know he's a nice person and that I have a connection with him but it's just friendship, I'm just comfortable around him that's all.
"He's just my friend." I replied coldly. "He can't be anything more than that." I stated.
**