Chapter 46: Called him Christian.
I always expected that I would leave and never return but I did not ever think he would leave. Abruptly just like ghastly clouds or wind passing by. By the time he had left, he had already bid the important people in his life goodbye. For weeks it had not registered that he did not want anything to do with me but after he packed up and left. I knew he was dead-set on leaving me in his past. It was only right, I left him in my past too. I gave birth blissfully with the help of my mother and aunt Ruth. I call it blissful because the blessing of having a child had me overwhelmed with joy. He was so small and beautiful. His cry made my heart falter, his little lungs exercising their capacity, breathing up and down. His tiny fingers bawled in a fist. For a long while, I had absolutely no idea if I'd be having s boy or girl, I was open to both.
He blinked his eyes open and to say I was not surprised would be an understatement. What had I expected, that he would mirror me? William had stronger genes then in this case, they outshined mine. For a long while, I hid my child any chance, I got. People who came to congratulate me or so on. I had to continue with the 'new borns are always white white in color when they're born'
I was hoping his complexion would go down a little. It did, slightly but what was the difference. Elliot's family came to congratulate me only to be disappointed. I don't think I had ever seen a grown man and woman disappointed to the point that they left without a word. Elliot? Never bothered to even show, he knew it was never his child.
I continued to work in the field, while hiding my child. That was until Master Joshua requested to see him. I named him Christian because I thought it had a nice ring to it. Besides I wanted to show God that it was only because of his grace and Mercy that had kept me and my child here. My mother found the name ridiculous as she continued to preach about religion being mental slavery.
Time goes by so fast when you're content with your life. Nothing made me happier than seeing my son happy. I did not hope for William to return and be my shining amor. I was glad he left if one of us had to leave it had to be him because truthfully speaking, I could never leave now could I? Unless I wanted to endanger my son. I had to accept my life as it is and continue living it. Grateful that he would somewhat get a better life than mine. Master Joshua, really had a change of heart.
—
"Boy, bring grandpa's glasses here?" Master Joshua instructed sitting back in his chair on the balcony facing the yard. "Bloody hell, Christian keep your hat on."
"Grandpa, I do not like the hat."
{picture of the hat is on top}
"No, but you have to keep it on my boy."
"Why?"
Master Master Joshua shook his head in disbelief, he was so stubborn. He was certainly a Gallagher, no doubt he got it from his grandpa. He smiled at the thought. "Remember when you asked your mother if you could keep your hair?"
The six year old boy nodded.
"You said you would keep you hat on."
"But grandpa, I want to show my hair off."
"No Christian, listen to your mother. She knows what's best for you. Or do you propose we cut your hair again?"
"No no no no, I like my hair grandpa." He shook his head innocently. His hair was black and very curly. Panashe allowed him to hang around the Gallagher Mansion but she refused for him to have a room there or to be so well informed about certain that he did not have to know about. Of all his grandchildren, Master Joshua never thought he would say Christian was close to his heart. He had big ocean blue eyes, just like his father. You could spot them from afar. They made him look very different and quite unique for a mulatto. His complexion was a tad bit of brown tanned caramel. He had his mother's cute button nose. His gestures were definitely his mother's but his skyrocketing height and stubbornness was definitely that of the Gallagher's.
As if to say, everyone on the ranch had heard every rumor under the sun.
'Christian is Master Joshua's son but he is pretending to be grandpa.'
'She thinks she can hide that boy with a hat? He is a mulatto, no point hiding that.'
'That boy is not treated like the rest of our children, why does he have to get homeschooled while our children get absolutely nothing—'
'He might sleep in his mother's bed at the commune but that boy is definitely privileged and spends more time in riches than in the slums like the rest of the slaves.'
'Christian is treated the way he is treat because by law, he is to receive his father's status and not that of the mother.'
There was no point hiding that, she had made a mistake in the past that might have gave her the best thing that has ever happened to her or might have made her endure some heartbreaking challenges.
—
"Mama, why do I call him grandpa if he isn't my grandpa?"
Panashe stiffened in her stance. Scratching her head for any reasonable valid answer. "Christian, uh he is grandpa because he is old." She summed up.
"Why do the other kids not call him grandpa? They told me they have their own grandpa."
"Because uh, they don't like your grandpa."
"I love grandpa." Christian said thoughtfully.
"You should sleep..."
"I love you too, Mama."
"I love you too, Christian."
—
"Why do I not look like anyone?" Christian once asked.
"Because you're very handsome!" His mother convinced him. Panashe's mother shook her head in disbelief. Rolling her eyes as she sew her skirt.
"No, Mama. Why do I not look like you or the other kids?"
"Because—"
"YOUR FATHER IS A WHITE MAN." Panashe's mother said out of the blue, seeming very proud of herself. Panashe felt her anger boiling, her mother had absolutely no sympathy or timing. It annoyed her.
"Where is my father?"
"Uh, you see uhm Christian, mommy is trying really hard to take care of you and give you everything and you know how granny gets, you need not listen to your grandma. She loves making a banter sometimes.."
Christian simply shook his head and laid back on his mother's lap as she stroked his black somewhat straight but curly curls. He had so many questions yet very little answers. He happened to be very bright for his age.
—
"Lady Martha, you did not have to. I can not begin to thank you for every single thing you have done for my son."
"Oh, Panashe, just how long will you pretend he is not a Gallagher. He is a splitting image of my son. I'm allowed to spoil him. You work so hard, we're allowed to spoil him on your behalf as well. Be it as your employer or as Christian's grandparents."
Panashe could only mutter 'Thank you' looking at the handful clothing that Lady Martha had bought for Christian.
"Uhm... just when will you tell him?" Lady Martha said.
Panashe seemed confused. "Tell him? Who? Lady Martha? If it's Christian, he is still too young but he is very smart.. as time progresses. He will soon find out."
"I mean my son, Panashe. When will you tell him that his son is growing up without him and he should return home even if it is just for Christmas."
Master Joshua then abruptly entered the room with Hector helping with his movements. They immediately exchanged glances, Hector just loved gossip.
"Martha, that is oddly unfair of you to ask. He left on his own, he hasn't returned. That's his choice. You're welcome to visit him but he is not welcome here. I swear on my grave William disappointed me and if he thinks he will get a dime then oh lord, he knows not what is coming for him."
"Joshua, that's your son! You planned on leaving him everything."
"He should not have made a son and left then." Master Joshua made himself comfortable by sitting back on the Victorian couch. "Now where is that little bugger, he promised me a story."
Lady Martha was still shocked so was Panashe and Hector. "Master Joshua, I know you did not ask of my opinion and it has no value to you but I do not think it would be a—"
"Hush hush, go call Christian, has he had his nap. Hector tell the kitchen to bake his favorite cookies. He has been having a tough time with school lately."
"Of course, Master Joshua." Hector said making his leave.
"Panashe, do you presume by third grade we take him to a boarding school. That way he mingles with other children. I reckon home schooling, he absolutely loathes it."
The thought of not seeing her son for months and months at a time. Did not sit well with her. "Master Joshua, I do not think I'd be happy with that. What if he is made fun of."
Master Joshua only chuckled. "He is a Gallagher, they know not to mess with a Gallagher... I will personally deal with anyone who makes my little boy uncomfortable."
Lady Martha then sighed sitting next to her husband. "He is bound to be made fun of, you can not protect him forever!"
Christian was a only six and Panashe did not want him to be tangled in all this prejudice race foolery.
—
"Grandpa, teacher asked me to draw my family. My mother and father, I did not know, I have to have a father."
"Your teacher is a fool, should we replace her then? huh my boy?"
Christian shook his head. "I quite like her."
"But she says an awful lot that she is not paid to do. I might have have a word with her."
—
"You see this horse, is yours."
"Really?"
"Ofcourse infact, every horse here is yours and every acre of land here is yours but that's our little secret." He chuckled ruffling Christian's hair.
"Where is your hat?"
"I do not want to wear it anymore. My mother said it's alright there's no point."
Panashe only made him wear a hat that way he would better fit in with the kids from the commune that he often played with. It was one thing, for him to have blue eyes but it was definitely not her expectations for him to have straight hair. She had seen a couple of mixed kids with curly hair, she just assumed that's how it went but in all honesty. Having a mixed child was like throwing a dice in the dark, you just never know the outcome.