Chapter 76: Called it 26 years.
As they sat on the balcony enjoying the sun that rarely ever came out in England. Panashe had made lunch, it gave her an opportunity to treat the kitchen stuff with some human decency such as giving them a break or some days off. They saw Ralph Gallagher arriving from his date, the sixteen year old seemed aflamed, a visible grin on his face. Panashe could only hope that all had went well with Sandy. Liam had wanted to prove to his half brothers that negroes were normal people just like them, in doing so... he invited Ralph and Chester to meet Panashe. It had taken weeks to get acquainted and used to each other but with Panashe being very likable and accommodating... it was easy for Ralph and Chester to see why Liam loved her and could not blabbering about his childhood memories.
"Teenagers are gross!" Chester said to Liam who agreed with a chuckle and a look of disgust. Christian and Addie only seemed confused as they ate their food.
"He will probably talk about Sandy Hemings for an hour or more.." Liam replied sarcastically. "I can not wait!" He said displeased.
"Boys, He is simply inlove let him be." Panashe replied softly.
"But why do we have to suffer for it by listening to all his rambling about her beauty and so on.." Chester added, a little annoyed. As if on time, Ralph opened the doors to the balcony with a stunning view of the acres of land and the plantations.
"WE KISSED!" Ralph said excitedly.
"Ew!"
"ON THE CHEEK." this had his siblings laughing.
"I assume she could not fathom the thought of kissing you with those teeth." Chester mimicked kissing sounds making Liam laugh. Panashe only smiled at him adoringly she understood that they were simply kids. It might not have seemed like much of anything to them but it meant everything to Ralph. She remembered her first kiss... it had went a little like—
'Flashback'
"Master William, should I lie down.." At this point I just wanted to sleep. It had been a long day.. the sooner he started the sooner he would finish and I would be able to clean myself up then sleep.
"You're really pushing it now."
"Master—"
"Quit being obnoxious, it's Will."
I didn't say anything, I just blinked. He stepped closer. His hand cupped my lips. I gulped down a feeling of fright and nervousness. This man's only mission was to ruin me.
And he did.
Once his lips touched mine, I was soaked. My skin tingled, my nipples hardened and everything felt like it was spinning. Removing his lips from mine he only smirked. I uncomfortably moved away from him. He didn't say a word as he left me flabbergasted.
—
Would she really have known that this would be her life later on in this rollercoaster? That she would sitting here... in the Gallagher home dining with them, making decisions and, no. Her old self would have laughed in her face is she said so. Shaking those thoughts away. Being the motherly figure that she is, she asked them to clear the table that way she could have a moment with Ralph, a moment for him to talk about his date without being ridiculed by children. With Hector gone, loneliness seemed to swallow her whole. But being around the kids made her a little less lonely.
"We can not clear the table..." Chester said stubbornly. "I thought it was... the—" he found it hard to say negro in her presence. Even at eleven he felt the guilt knowing the it was a degrading word. It was once alright to yell it at the top of his lungs without a care but now he had someone whom he was fond of who happened to be affected if he mentioned the word. With that he refused to say it. It was beginning to prove difficult for him to degrade black people especially with the bond that he had made with his uncle's significant other.
"We will clear the table." Liam interrupted the silence.
"Thank you Liam, try not to break anything alright?" Panashe voiced her concern.
"Yes, ma'am!" Chester and Liam replied in unison.
"Addie, Christian follow along..." she said.
"Will we still do my hair?" Addie have her a pout.
"Ofcourse.." she replied with a smile.
When they were finally out the door, Ralph was impetuous to talk. "The picnic was perfect, she even complimented your food. She thought it was really sweet. It was all your doing and I'm thankful for you."
"I'm really glad.." Panashe mustered a smile, she felt a little migraine pass through but it came as quick as it went. It had been going on for a while but she continuously ignore it. Not wanting to entertain any thought of being sick.
"I must apologize for the way my brother and I judged you before we got to know you. You're a remarkable person Aunt Panashe, I'm well aware why my uncle would fall head over heels for you. You have taught me to be better, I do not think I'd ever want to treat black people the way I used to or the way I was taught to. My uncle is very lucky to have you, also.." He paused turning to whisper and check if anyone was listening.
"Sandy Hemings is the daughter of one of the magistrates who received the royal assent for the abolishment of slavery.."
"Really? What does that all mean?" Panashe asked a little confused.
"The Royal family is demanding an end for slavery."
"I never thought I'd hear the royals care for slaves." Panashe replied a little confounded by the whole situation. Six years ago William had told her the same thing about talks of slavery ending. She had given up hope that had been six years ago and nothing much had alternated.
"They sent the Royal Assent in 1807 ever since it was been in talks for over 26 years. I'm sorry if this sounds like a bore to you. I'm genuinely interested in politics and so on."
Panashe chuckled. "It's alright Ralph, I'm quite enjoying this conversation myself."
"I'm glad, I assumed it's something you'd like to hear as well. The monarch almost never does use their advantages as a monarchy to set things straight except in a dire political emergency or upon the advice of their government."
"Twenty-six years? What has been taking them so long to simply make a decision to free people as they should. To give people their human rights that they deserve. I fail to understand what more is there to think about..." with a sigh. "I'm sorry if I'm coming off as aggressive, it is hardly your fault either." Panashe could only think she was twenty-six years of age and this had taken her life time to resolve, what was there to resolve? What was there to discuss? What was there to negotiate? Who in their right minds would be protesting on keeping slaves in a guardhouse for the rest of their miserable lives. It was something she found bewildering.
"Sandy was upset... it might be happening sooner than you think. She could not tell me much but from the looks of it, a decision has been made and only announcements will presume.."
"Sandy was upset?"
"She is still tied up in the web we were raised in. I can not put fault on her either."
"I understand, well I appreciate you telling me all this."
"Ofcourse, after helping me with this date. I couldn't be more grateful."
"You're welcome—" before she could say any more Christian ran in screaming with fear. Liam was right behind him panicking. It made Panashe alarmed, so alarmed she had to stand on her feet to come to their aid.
"Mommy! Mommy! Granny has a knife!" Christian yelled.
"She keeps saying if you don't come out front she will kill herself!"
Still shocked. "What?"
"She is on the porch with a knife aimed at her throat and the other on her stomach. She seemed very serious... she was bleeding a little." Liam added.
"Oh God!" Panashe said hurrying down. "Ralph please stay with Christian and Addie. Liam and Chester stay there, I will be right back."
"But—"
"No, stay up here."
"But—"
"Listen to me please, I will be back."
As she was approaching her mother with so much anger, ready to burst out. She had, had enough of Doris. What had she achieved by doing all this? Why was Doris such an attention seeker.
"DO NOT TOUCH ME! I WILL SLIT MY THROAT JUST AS I HAVE DONE WITH MY WRIST IF YOU DO NOT BRING MY DAUGHTER HERE!"
"WILLIAM!" that's when Panashe realized William had been disturbed from the study. He had said he was finishing some files and so on. Now he has to deal with this. A wave of shame snuggled down her back. Panashe was embarrassed of her mother, embarrassed to the point at which she assumed William's family would get sick of her.
"IF ANYONE COMES NEAR ME, I'm stabbing myself. I will die on your front door for the whole plantation and your children to see." She yelled. "What are you looking at you Negroes? Do you not have work to do than follow me here for entertainment!" Everyone has followed her from the plantation up until this point. Keen for gossip, keen for a little entertainment, keen to see what will happen.
Panashe then stepped out. Her eyes immediately met her mother's. She shook her head. "Why are you doing this?"
"Pack your bags, this minute. You're coming home."
"Excuse me!"
"Panashe, I said pack your bags this minute. If you don't I'm killing myself on this spot. My blood will be in your hands it will be your fault that I'm dead. You will never be able to live with—" the migraine was making dizzy. It had been back again. Trying her best to lean against the wall it was not doing much. She felt a sharp pain right below her stomach. She could hear everyone asking if she was okay, she could hear William's voice trying to calm her, it sounded as if it was from a distance. And soon she succumbed to darkness, in the eyes of others thankfully she fell in William's arms. Doris dropped her knives coming to the aid of her daughter. She had not slit her wrist at all. It was all for attention, the only thing that suffered was the poor chicken that she had killed for its blood. Knowing no one would take her seriously without blood. Everyone was gasping with shock, for a moment it was quiet as William tried to—
"You will regret this Doris, you have really done it this time."