I tilt the laptop and the girls’ faces occupy the screen. Wyn is on top of Bren but her twin doesn’t seem to mind. Brianna is on one side of the bed, smiling at the camera. They are all lying on their stomachs. El settles down beside me, I prop the laptop on my knees and slip my hand into her shirt from behind. She shoots me a warning look. I bat my lashes like the cute baby daddy I am.
“I miss Mummy,” Wyn says.
My back meets the headboard and El rests her head on my shoulder. “What about me?”
Again, she and Bren are rocking the same gowns. Wyn frowns. “I miss you too, I guess.”
El bellows out a laugh. Evil girls. In a few months, I’ll have my boys. She wraps an arm around my waist to soothe me. It works for only a second before my attention returns to the laptop. Bren is grinning.
“How are you?” El asks.
“Fine,” three of them chorus.
Their heads bob in reply to each question she asks. I yawn for the second time when she begins a new round of questioning. The girls are just fine without us. We have been gone for only two weeks.
El tears up a little and I draw her in for a hug. I hate these hormones. “Mummy misses you too.”
“Daddy misses you too,” I chip in.
They laugh. El smacks the back of my head. I like to call these attacks love slaps. The girls flash us a smile, their happiness is overwhelming.
“I love you. Mummy and Daddy love you girls,” I tell them. “Be good for us, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy,” they say in unison. “We love you too.”
They return the laptop to Joshua, we exchange pleasantries for a few more minutes and end the call.
El rolls over on her back, her head lowers to my legs and I stroke her hair. I’m not sure what she sees but after a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, she looks up to me with a smile. Is she thinking what I’m thinking?
This is the room she had her first sex. The room she had many of her firsts. Our first compromise and fight. I peck the tip of her nose and she holds my head down for a kiss. “Do you remember?” I whisper.
Her breathing is so quiet I assume she must have fallen asleep until she says, “What?”
“The first time you gave me a blowjob.” I try to pry her hands, which are acting as a cover, from her face but she shakes her head. “You were so bad at it.” Laughter tumbles freely from my lips. She lowers her hands and pouts. “Bad cocksucker.”
“Shut up.” I beam. She’s smiling too. “You were a terrible Dom.” Good thing I am retired now. We never got much practice anyway. “What about now? Am I still bad at it?” I pretend to think about my reply and her eyes water almost immediately. She sniffs and juts her lower lip. “I’m still bad at it?”
“I never said that.” I pull her up for a hug. These damn hormones. “Of course not, baby. You’re the best cocksucker ever. My favourite.” Her crying abates, she looks up to me with her teeth stuck between her lower lip. Beautiful. “Smile for me, El.”
Tucking her head in the crook of my armpit, she slides her arms around my waist.
“You’ve changed,” she says. My fingers move up and down her arm absentmindedly. “I like it.”
“I like it too because you like it.” El hums. I take her hand and she frowns when I pull out the ring. This one was given to her at our wedding, very expensive but no sentiments attached to it. It was Danielle who bought it. Her orders had been to get something feminine. Still cradling her, I retrieve a box from the drawer. Her hand goes over her mouth when I pull out a diamond ring from the square box. “It’s for my mother.”
I place it on her palm. She holds it to the light and the green diamond gleams. “Is it for me?”
“Yeah, she asked me to give it to you.” Well, not exactly. Mother slid it into my pocket without a word. El returns the ring to me and stretches her hand. I push it into her third finger. She frowns and I shrug. I want my own ring to be on her fourth finger. I made plans for it with the girls. “Do you like it? I like it.”
It’s the first adult gift I am accepting from my parents without resentment.
“I love it.” She hooks her arms around my neck and kisses me. “I love you, my baby.” Moments after, she asks, “What’s the plan for today?”
“We will go out.” Her head dips in a mocking bow and her shoulders shake with laughter. In the first week of our stay, we tried to be social but that didn’t turn out fine. I swear she has the sex drive of a maniac. We fuck every time. Her increased libido is the only part of the hormones I love. “Outside the hotel. I was thinking...” Her eyes slant, instead of saying something, I carry her to the balcony and sit. “We could go somewhere you want.”
My wife rolls her lip between her teeth. “Like?”
Eiffel tower. Love lock bridge. But I don’t mention any of these options.
“Do you miss the girls?” El asks. “I miss them and I don’t know... I feel like I’m neglecting them being out here for so long with you. We left them with other people.” They are not with strangers. They are with family. “Does that make us bad parents?”
“Not at all, baby.” I sweep her hair over one shoulder and peck her. “They want us to have fun here.”
El doesn’t know they will be joining us soon. I miss them too. I have never been away from them for this long. Her eyes moisten. We won’t stay here feeling sorry for ourselves. We sure as hell are good parents.
She gets down to stretch.
“I know where we can go,” I blurt out. “But you will have to wear actual clothes.” El walks into the room first. I don’t let her sit. Amid her protests, I push her towards our wardrobe. “Wear something nice.” She shakes her head. “I’m not joking.” Planting one hand on her hip, she tilts her jaw in a dare. “Okay, baby. Please wear something nice for your baby.”
It works. She sifts through clothes while I move to the other side of the room to sort out myself. The box is intact, same with the ring. El never got the proposal or marriage she always wanted. I want to make it right.
Her pink gown is the colour of blush, we walk out of the room looking perfect and sexy. The chauffeur is waiting for us. I don’t remember his name but he reminds me of a younger version of Enzo. El glues herself to my side, her head only raises when I give the driver our direction but the rest of the ride is silent.
I shake her awake when we are near the bridge. Young Enzo leaves and I place El’s hand in mine. She makes a joke as we start for the bridge but I don’t laugh. The box is still in my breast pocket but I pat it twice to confirm.
At the foot of the stairs leading up, a woman selling padlocks stops us. El accepts two and a red marker from her. We walk a certain distance and stop by the railings to write our names on the padlocks. El retrieves a piece of paper, scribbles on it. She holds it above her head when I try to snatch it. I chuckle. She is tall but I am taller, I can easily snatch the paper from her. But I let her have fun for today.
“What did you write?” I ask when I’ve written my name in the middle of a heart symbol.
“Nothing.”
“Hmm.” She wiggles her brows. “Tell me.” Nothing I say or do elicits a confession from her. “Fine.”
We continue up the bridge and stop at the centre. Padlocks cover every inch of the railing. Notes that have survived the different weathers flap in tune to the wind. El disappears from my sight while I scan the place to find a spot for us. She returns shortly, slightly out of breath to drag me away.
Her hair flies into her face but it seems to be the least of her concern. “Found a spot.”
El stops to catch her breath, she points to one of the many padlocks. “There. Let’s use it.” I see nothing but padlocks, she rolls her eyes and drags me along like I am a ragged doll. I try to stop her from squatting but she slaps my arm. “I’m fine.” I let her be because the doctor encouraged exercises. “Here.”
Pushing some padlocks, we manage to find an almost nonexistent spot for ours. She puts hers first, mutters something and throws the key into the bridge. I do mine next and toss the key. She stretches her arms to the sides, giving me enough time to gather my wits and courage.
After another round of pep talk, I get down on one knee.
The ring nearly falls out of my hand and I take a few more calming breaths. I clear my throat and El turns to me with a gasp. I don’t get a word out before she bursts into tears. It could be tears of joy. I think I am doing great.
“Elna Amahle Stark.” The words lodge in my throat and my chest constricts. I release my breath. Shit. I am a goddamn simp. Why am I tearing up? I should be in better control of my emotions. “This journey has been a lot of things. But I want us to do it right this time. I want to spend forever and a day with you. Be mine, Elna Stark. Will you please marry me?”
“But we are already married,” she says through her tears.
“I know,” I reply without putting my hand down. “Marry me again, El. Be my backup plan.”