One month. One month to convince my wife we deserve a chance at being a family again. A thrill races down my spine. I feel better, a million times better. El’s approval was the true medication I needed.
Rejuvenated, I get out of the bed, careful not to wake her. She rolls over to the side I once occupied, her eyelids flutter but her eyes don’t open and I push a pillow closer to her to take my place. A sigh escapes her, she cuddles the pillow. Stifling a laugh, I press a kiss to her temple and exit the room for the girls’.
There’s a bounce in my step as I saunter down the corridor, an excitement in my chest. I misstep a few times but recover. My fist raps on the door of the girls room, on their command, I open up. Sleep clouds their eyes but they are already out of the bed, I cover the distance between us to squat in front of them.
Their slim arms wrap around my neck, I press kisses to their hair. “Good morning,” they chorus.
Steering them in the direction of the bathroom, I reply, “Morning, babies.” I fill the tub with water, they help each other out of their robes and slip into the tub. Bren collects the loofah from me, Wyn hands her the soap while my eyes scan the place for their towels. I bop Wyn’s nose. “How was your night?”
“Good,” she says. I turn to Bren and she nods. They share a bed here and Wyn is known to roll over to Bren’s side a lot but they love the arrangement. I dip a finger into their water to check the temperature. “Are you happy?”
More than I have ever been in five years but I take a moment to reply the curious little thing. They are always up to something but of late, they have been good. I prefer their calmer versions, it gives me less to worry about. I pinch her cheeks, she squints and returns the favour. “Yes. I’m happy, very happy.”
Bren takes a seat in the tub, hiding the lower part of her body in the water. Wyn rinses her sister’s back and my smile grows at their coordination. One of the little things that reassures me about their future.
“Because of Mummy?” she asks.
“Yes.”
It’s Bren’s turn to query me. Her head raises, her wet hair sticks to her face. “Are you and Mummy back together?” Something blocks my throat, I stand to avoid looking into her eyes shining with eagerness. I don’t want to lie to them. Anything can happen in a month. Everything can go wrong. Or right. “Daddy?”
“Yes.” I don’t elaborate, neither do they ask for an explanation, they respond with a curt nod. Wyn takes Bren’s former position and starts scrubbing her sister. I set their towels on the edge of the tub. “I’m off.”
They wave me goodbye, I jog down the stairs to prepare a large breakfast for the girls. Pancake with a lot of syrup for the twins and potato waffles for El. Pans and plates clack as I drop them to the island, I hum a tune in my head and get the ingredients ready. Midway into finishing the pancakes, slender arms wrap around my waist from behind. Her delicate smell tickles my nose, I turn off the cooker and twist to face her.
El kisses my jaw. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“Nope.” My lips pucker, she indulges me with a peck. “I feel better.”
Her hands drop from my waist, I bring them back to their rightful place. El giggles. “Are you sure? Sophia recommended a week of bedrest.” I shake my head. There is no way on God’s beautiful earth I’ll spend a week in bed when I have only a month to impress her. “At least a week. Brandon.” I shrug, it’s my body, I know how I feel and I feel brand new. “Fine. If you say so, I still think you should be in bed. Resting.”
Na, I don’t need rest, I need her. I notice now she’s dressed, not for work but casual enough to leave the house without brows raising. My gaze returns to her face, she’s beautiful without makeup and her hair is pulled into a bun. She is not leaving, right? I know we only agreed one month but I want her all to myself 24/7.
Forcing the insecurity out of my voice, I ask, “Where did you get this?”
El frowns, giving herself a onceover like she’s seeing her outfit for the first time. A joggers with a matching sweatshirt of the same colour. “Home,” she replies, “I asked Lydia to help me get some stuff yesterday.”
“You’re leaving?”
My heart shrinks when she untangles herself from me to continue with the pancake. I stare at my hands long enough for my vision to blur. Her voice drags me back. “Yeah, I need to go get some of my stuff.”
Her body relaxes as I stand behind her, a smile fleets to my lips as she flips the pancake expertly. “You can always move in with me.” El chokes on a cough, I massage her shoulders until she recovers. “It’s easier for you and the girls. Especially you, you don’t have to keep going home for your things. Say yes.”
Tension works its way to her body, she tenses. A countdown begins in my head as the silence wears thin. I don’t care but I am going all in. It might not mean as much to her but it means the world to me having her here. I kiss her neck, she finishes the last batch of pancakes and serves them into the girls breakfast plates. Yes, they have their meal plates. Woe betides anyone who dares serve them in the wrong plates.
Anticipation stiffens my spine as El sidesteps me to get a tray for the food, I follow her out of the kitchen like a lost puppy. We are seated at the dining table when she finally replies, “Let’s take it slow, okay?”
The girls barely look up from their meal, spurting syrup on their pancakes. I stuff pancake into my mouth and nod slowly. Slow? What’s her definition of slow? I pay extra attention to the girls’ rant, forgetting what they say as soon as they speak. Fooled by my composure, they continue ranting until El’s ringtone interrupts them. She turns the phone upside down before I get a look at the caller’s identity, we share a hot look and the corners of her lips twitch. It’s nothing, I try to tell myself but the phone vibrates again.
“Pick your call,” I murmur. The kids forget about us and begin to gossip among themselves.
Without blinking, body frozen in place, she answers, “No need. It’s no one important.”
She lied. It’s someone important. Someone I will be mad about if she picks. Possibly a man.
We continue breakfast without any mishap. As soon as the girls are out of sight, I drag her to a dark corner. Chest to chest with little air between us, breaths mingling, I spit out, “Who was that?”
Annoyance tinges her voice. “T.” My heart drops, she peels my hand off her and I offer her a tight smile. With an eye roll, she smoothes my shirt. “Brandon, we are not seeing each other, we are just friends.”
Borrowing her words, I mutter, “Friends don’t look at each other the way he looks at you.”
It’s true. He has a hungry look in his eyes around her. He wants her too. Unlike the other men she tried to date in the past, the kids like him. That’s something to worry about. Schooling my face into a blank mask, I take her hand and start for the gate where Enzo is waiting for us with the girls. We won’t start today with a fight.
“He knows about us.” Yet he had his lips on hers a few weeks ago. His hands too. El stops, forcing me to do the same. We stand facing each other, I shove my hands into the pockets of my sweatpants and she sighs, that deep sigh that shows she’s tired of a conversation that’s yet to start. Fine. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, then I don’t want to talk about it either. “Brandon, there’s nothing to be worried about.”
That’s the thing with her, she gives everyone a chance to prove themselves. It will ruin her.
“Okay. Can I at least have my phone?”
The wind ruffles, blowing her hair into her face. I watch her tuck them out of sight, hands deep inside my pockets. With a smile, she tries to place a kiss on my lips but I dodge it. “Baby, there’s nothing.”
“I said okay.” My tone is a bit sharp. “Can I have my phone now?” I don’t receive it until we are in the car. The scowl on her face when she asks Bren to pass it to me doesn’t escape me but I choose to ignore it.
Unresolved issues hang in the air between us, we don’t speak. I check my emails, replying the few I can. Dina emails me with some good news, Ed is back to work. I push the phone into my pocket and rest my head on the window, angry and thankful for her presence. We arrive at the girls school, their rushed goodbyes and air kisses pass over me. I am still sulking by the time we return to the house. Once the car stops, I step out before El, rushing to the kitchen to pour myself a chill glass of water.
This would have been a good time to drown myself in some expensive vodka. Mute these thoughts in my head. So what if she’s friends with T? A lot. I don’t want her to be friends with that man. I dump the glass in the sink and run my hands through my hair. God help me, I can’t ruin this for us again. It’s my last shot.
Determined to fix this, I take a step forward, crashing to a stop as El storms inside. She slaps her purse on the counter and folds her hands, drawing my attention to her breasts. My gaze lingers on her boobs, we spent most part of yesterday fucking and making love but I miss them already. She yells, “Really?” What did I do? Her eyes narrow with fury, I take another step away from her. “What was the meaning of that?
In a small, almost pathetic voice, I ask, “Meaning of what?” There’s no crime in staring at my wife’s chest.
She jerks a finger at the door. “What you did outside. That attitude.” That might have been shitty on my part but she shouldn’t be friends with that man, he likes her. “You didn’t even kiss the girls goodbye.”
I did, didn’t I? They blew me a kiss and I returned it. Her face says I did the opposite but the pent up anger stops me from feeling remorse. For some stupid reason, I shrug. “No idea what you are talking about.”
A painful silence descends on us, she scoffs, picks up her purse and makes a U-turn.