“Should we sing for her?” Wyn asks.
We are in Bren’s room, by her bedside. I rest my jaw on Wyn’s hair and slide my arms around her waist. “Don’t do anything.” The little minion lodged between my legs groans. “You can talk to her later,” I say.
Wyn sandwiches her sister’s hand between hers, she doesn’t sing, she doesn’t talk. Seconds pass, I leave both of them to do what twins do and make myself comfortable on the couch across the room. I sniff my armpit and make a face. I need a fucking bath, food too but I am not leaving until my princess wakes.
The ceiling is plain, same as the grey walls. Sad, dull and boring. I push myself into a sitting position. Wyn is whispering something to her sister. It must have been funny because she giggles and a smile springs to my lips. I am not sure staying here is good for her. But she looks happy as she caresses her twin’s cheek.
I should attend to my missed calls and check on Brianna but I want to hold off a bit.
The sun is setting and the streets are less busy. A black car drives in through the clinic gates. The owner doesn’t drive to the garage but slows to a stop beside the ambulances. I shift on the grey couch until my back connects with the wall. I have a better view of the car but not its occupant who doesn’t step out.
Curiosity piques me. I squint. The plate number is blurry. I stop trying to decode the digits written on it. Wyn joins me. She kneels on the couch and curves her hands around the window to improve her vision.
“Is that Mummy?”
“No,” I lie. The car definitely looks like El’s.
I didn’t tell her we were transferring Bren to John Hops but she could have gotten that information from Dr Scott, that lousy doctor. He should have checked harder for a pulse that time. “Where’s Mummy?”
At my delayed response, Wyn hops to my laps. She massages my shoulder with an impish smile etched on her lips. My gaze narrows. “Mummy had to run an errand,” I offer but she doesn’t stop smiling. I fish out my phone from my pocket. Wyn needs to go home. I need someone to take care of her and Brianna while I am here so Lydia can take a break. She tries to peek at my screen. “I’m calling Uncle Josh.”
“Why?” She tugs on my lower lip. I grimace as she slaps me gently. This energy has to go somewhere.
Joshua is not picking. I try him one more time but no luck. “To take you home,” I finally answer.
“No. I’m not going home.” She hits me again, harder than the first time. “I’m staying with my sister.”
Her sharp tone startles me, I grab her tiny hands. On the bright side, she’s happy. She’s not panicking which makes it easier for me. Leaning back on the couch with the armrest as a pillow, I hug her to my chest and plant a kiss on her temple. My phone pings with a text from Lydia. Brianna is fine and asleep.
I reply her with a text not to wait for us. On second thoughts, I send one to Joshua and switch off my phone once Vincent’s name appears on my screen. He is not letting this go and I’m too tired to fight him.
“Where was Mummy when Bren went to the lake?” Wyn freezes, her finger playing on my chest stops. The ceiling lights reflect on the window, I stare at them and whisper, “Branwyn. Where was Mummy?”
“She was talking to Uncle T.”
I knew that but her answer cuts deeper into my soul. A weight settles in my chest, my lips press to her hair. Hurt replaces the guilt from keeping El away from her child and my arms tighten around Wyn. I’m doing the right thing. My girls are not safe around her. She doesn’t deserve to be left alone with them.
“Did you go to the park with him?” I ask.
“No.” I listen to the sound of her heart, straining my ears to catch the sound of Bren’s. I know she’s alive but it would be nice to hear it. Wyn gives my hands a small squeeze. “Goodnight, Daddy. I love you.”
Another peck on her hair. “Goodnight, Princess. I love you more.”
Wyn's light snores punctuate the silence. I stifle a laugh as my mini locomotive engine drifts to lalaland. El snores too. She’s the big locomotive engine while Wyn is her mini version. El is cute when she snores. She will never agree but she snores on occasions, mostly when she is tired.
Why am I thinking about my wife? She hurt us.
I look out the window covering half of the room. There are no stars in the sky and the moon peeks from behind a cloud. A yawn slips past my lips when the clock chimes twelve and the events of today rush back in with a big wave of tiredness. I stretch my hands, wary of my little princess cuddling on my chest.
Locking my arms around her, the pep talk about staying awake flies out the window when I yawn again. I am starving, tired and in need of a bath. I need tender loving care. But I know I will not be getting it anytime soon. The knowledge hurts my heart. Men have needs too, even monsters like me.
My eyelids grow heavy, it becomes harder to stay awake with each passing second. The time has barely moved from twelve. My eyes clamp shut. I’ll only take a ten or twenty minute nap and check on Bren.
Someone shakes me awake. Someone that looks like my brother. Why is Joshua standing over me with a deep scowl? I try to sit up but the weight on my chest keeps me grounded. He relieves me of the weight so I can sit, I massage the back of my neck with a groan.
Shit. My head hangs low. Worst nap of my life.
Sunlight filters in through the window, I stare at his boots until the haze in my brain clears. It’s morning.
“When did you get here?”
Joshua takes his seat beside me and carries Wyn. She doesn’t stir. I wish I could sleep like her. “An hour ago, I think.” Sleep clouds my eyes, I yawn again. I need more sleep. “You should get some rest. Both of you, I will watch her until you return.” I open my mouth to protest. “Brandon, you need to rest and eat.”
I need to but I don’t want to leave yet. Joshua senses my hesitation. “I’m not leaving here until I see you. Promise.” Living with the girls must have messed with my head, I jut my pinky finger to link with his in a pinky promise. It only counts if it’s a pinky promise. We seal the promise with our pinky fingers. “I will be here. She’s my niece, you know?” He nudges my shoulder. “How are you holding up?”
My eyes stray to Wyn fast asleep on his laps. Her lips are in a pout, she makes chewing sounds without opening her eyes. Maybe she’s hungry too. Joshua swipes a strand of hair out of her damp forehead.
“Not so good,” I reply with utmost sincerity. I swipe my hair back and he nods. I don’t need to say more because he understands. He always does. My hand descends on his shoulder. “Thank you for coming.”
Joshua snorts. “I’m your brother. Of course I’ll be here.” I pat his arm in a silent show of appreciation. We sit in silence until he turns to the window. I follow his gaze. The black car is still there. Did she even leave? Joshua clears his throat. She must have told him, they are close. “Are you going to let her in?”
He fists the hem of his shirt, I jump to my feet and shrug. I strut to Bren’s bed to check her temperature. She is warm to touch. Her skin is pale but she’s not as cold as she was the last time I checked on her. Raising her hand to my lips, I kiss the heel of her palm. Joshua smiles sadly at me. I don’t like his smile.
Bren is fine. We will walk out of this hospital smiling. Dr Ruth is an expert in her field, she will fix her.
“You have to let her see her child,” Joshua mutters in a grave tone.
I feel like we have had this conversation but under different circumstances. I nod once, twice until I am nodding non-stop. El doesn’t deserve to see Bren again. My lips meet Bren’s forehead in a kiss, I return to the only couch in the room, making sure to keep the distance between us. He is on team El right now.
“Brandon.”
“You have to learn to mind your business, Joshua.”
Our eyes meet and he sighs. He runs his free hand through his hair, I push both of mine into my scalp.
“You know it was an accident, right?”
This will make a good argument in court when I request full custody of my girls. Negligence. She will get the divorce she has always wanted. All I have to do is find those fucking papers or serve her a new one.
“Was it?” I eye his side profile. He looks just as tired as I am but without the eye bags. He attempts to say something but I shake my head. He’s always defending El. “Please. I don’t want to talk about her.”
Different emotions speed through his face as he contemplates my response. “You should get some rest.”
I should but part of me feels it’s his ploy to get me out of the room so El will have a chance with Bren. I am not completely against that. Maybe I am not one hundred percent the monster she believes I am.
Joshua stands. I follow suit. He transfers Wyn to me and gives me a side hug. I will rest but first, I need to check in with the doctor. She should be here. The night has passed, I need to know her final verdict.