I wake before El. My fingers trace the curve of her lips, she whines in her sleep but stays asleep. I reach for my phone, the alarm bells in my head trip off when I peep the time. Shit. The girls will be fucking late.
“El.” I shake her gently. I can’t move with her on top of me and I don’t want to ruin her sleep. I love our position but the girls need to get to school. “Elna. Baby,” I murmur into her hair. She moans. “Wake up.”
Her eyes open, she holds my gaze for about five seconds and falls right back to sleep.
Chuckling, I lower her to the bed as gently as I can. She doesn’t wake. I pause to observe her, is she fine? She doesn’t sleep this much. I plant a kiss on her forehead. She moans, I push a pillow towards her and my lips spread in a smile when she cuddles it. Good to know I wasn’t the only one who missed cuddling.
After throwing on some clothes, I rush downstairs to check on the twins. There’s barely enough time for them to bathe and eat. I am definitely killing this father’s role. My feet crash to a stop when I sight them at the dining room with a heap of pancakes dripping in syrup in front of them. I forbade them from the kitchen. I cross over to stand behind an empty seat. My eyes scan the table to the girls eating quietly.
“Bren. Wyn. Bri.”
“Good morning, Daddy,” they chorus.
They are all dressed. Including Bri who doesn’t have to be out until much later. We are meeting Vincent today.
Something has changed within me. Something I cannot identify but it has a lot to do with that late night conversation I had with Mother. If they can forgive me, how dare I hold a grudge against him?
Wyn slices Brianna’s pancakes to ease the stress for her. Her limbs control is at a four, soon enough, she will be at a five like the rest of everyone. I slide into an empty seat as Lydia walks in with a glass of milk.
She sets it in front of Brianna and I offer her a grateful smile. She has been so helpful, more than she will ever know it. The girls continue their breakfast in silence and I yawn again. I don’t want to take them to school. I want to crawl back in bed with El. My palms flatten against the table as their heads turn to me.
“Enzo will be taking...” The twins frown until I add, “You two cuties to school.” They giggle. I have been their designated driver since the lake incident. I drive them to school. I drive them back home. It almost feels strange having him do it but I need to be with El a little longer before we leave. “Is that okay?”
They nod. “Yes, Daddy.”
Wyn ignores her fork and picks a triangle shaped pancake with her hand. She catches my glare, sets down the slice of pancake on her plate and uses her fork. I give her a thumbs up and receive a wide grin.
Brianna is slower than the twins. I move around the table to peck her and do the same for the girls. My hands are still on Bren’s shoulders when she looks up. I anticipate her question, she doesn’t disappoint.
“Are you and Mummy back together?” She stuffs her mouth with pancake, I retrieve the napkin on the table and wipe the syrup staining her lips. “Daddy?” Wyn is also staring at me for an answer. “Daddy?”
We haven’t spoken about it but our future looks brighter than it has in months. “Yeah.” Their smiles are big. Even Brianna smiles. “We are working on it.” Their heads bob, my phone beeps. It’s time. “Ready?”
They finish up and I walk them to the car, we hug and they take turns to peck me on my lips. Enzo drives off but I don’t stop waving at the Mercedes until it is out of sight. They are happy. I am happy. I think El is happy too. I return inside to help Brianna to her room. She stays downstairs because of the staircase.
We need to get to her classes first, the meeting with Vincent is later. I flip through channels, passing her a look each time I move to a new channel. Brianna purses her lips and finally agrees to an animation.
“I’ll be back soon, okay?” She nods. I help her into the bed and prop a pillow behind her back.
She can do these things herself but not with as much dexterity as I would. I don’t mind helping. She’s my princess too. I think I fear that I’ll love her less now the secret is in the open so I try to overcompensate whenever I can. These thoughts are all in my head but it doesn’t stop them from trying to suffocate me.
At every moment, I want her to feel loved. I take her hand and place a kiss on her knuckles. “I love you.”
“Love you too, Daddy.”
A sad smile tugs on my lips. I am such a coward. I haven’t told anyone the truth. I step into the kitchen to make El’s favourite meal. I doubt this combo is considered a real food but I am grinning as I set the plate and mug of steaming coffee to the tray. I love that woman too much and I hope this is finally it.
Our happy ending.
El is still asleep when I enter the room, I drag a stool by the bedside and drop the tray on it. I dash to the wardrobe for the file, clutching it with shaky hands. The shares started this. Maybe it will end it.
“Baby.” I peck her. Her eyes fly open. She stretches her arms and yawns. The cover bunches at her belly, revealing her boobs. I kneel beside the bed and rub circles on her nipple. El purrs. “Breakfast is ready.”
My fingers comb through her hair, she pulls the cover over her chest as she moves into a sitting position. Her hands lock around my shoulders and she places a warm kiss on my lips. It’s too short but I’m too excited at the fact she was the first one to initiate body contact to care. She loves me like I love her.
“What’s that?” She points to the file on the floor. Her expression changes. “Brandon?”
I scowl. “Baby,” I correct. The pad of my thumb runs over her lips, we don’t break eye contact and I lean forward to capture her lips in a brief kiss. Our foreheads meet, I place the file on her lap. “Your shares.”
“Mine?” Emotions fleet across her face, she frowns. “There was no need.” El drags her hands between her legs but I return them to my shoulders. It makes her smile. She runs her knuckles over my cheek. “It’s fine. Brianna can have them.”
“Nope,” I reply with an added stress on the p. Another thing I must have picked from the twins. Her eyes moisten, she blinks back her tears and I cup the base of her neck. “Hey. I already made plans for Brianna.”
“Are you sure?” she whispers. Her teeth dig into her lip until I pull it out. “I’m sorry.”
Oh, no. My heart skips. She hasn’t done anything, right? I just want to be happy. I set the file to the bed. Her meal is growing cold but I need immediate answers.
“Why are you sorry?” A hand runs over my face. El had better not drop a bombshell on me. “What for?”
“I haven’t been the best wife to you,” she answers.
My relief is enormous. El folds her arms on her chest as I break down laughing. She freaked me out. Bringing her small hand to my lips, my teeth graze her fingertips and she lets out a delicious sound.
She’s forgiven.
“I haven’t been the best husband to you either.” She smoothens my brows and makes a sound between a sigh and a moan. My arms slide around her waist, I squeeze her butt. “I’m sorry too.”
She sticks out her lower lip. Her face turns serious, I lace our fingers to receive comfort from her touch.
“Brandon...” A thick moment of silence rolls by, she holds my gaze. “I don’t want a divorce.” Her gaze lowers to her knees. “I was going to ask us to get back together, it was what I wanted to tell you last year. But I wanted to do it in person.” She hides her face in her palms. “And now you want to leave me.”
Her shoulders tremble. I hold her hands and her tears spill to my arms. “Hey, hey. El. Baby. Look at me.” She casts teary eyes on me and my heart clenches. We need to talk but this isn’t the right time. “No one is getting a divorce, okay? No one is leaving anybody.” I pinch her cheek. “Baby, you are stuck with me.”
“Promise?”
My lips brush hers. “Yes. Promise.” I drag the stool between us. “Your food is getting cold.”
Her arms wrap around her belly, she shakes her head. “I’m not hungry.”
“Yes, you are, El.” I break the potato waffles into bits and feed her. She chews slowly but it doesn’t stop me from feeding her another piece. “Baby, you’re skinny.” Lydia made an offhand comment about her eating habits. She might have come here only a few times but she noticed. “You haven’t been eating.”
“No appetite.” She frowns. “I’m not skinny.”
I chuckle. She sure has lost weight. But I nod. I bring the mug to her lips. “You’re not skinny but please eat.” She takes a small sip and my glare has her taking another. I sit on the floor and fold my legs under me. She hands me the mug but I shake my head. “I called your assistant. You’re on leave.”
El squints. I laugh at the moustache made by her coffee. She drops the mug onto the tray and picks a piece of waffle herself. Good girl. I take the bit she feeds me and she murmurs, “Since when?”
“Since now.” I managed to contact her office. The assistant was shocked but she will be fine. “Take the rest of the week off. If you feel much better by Sunday, you can go to work on Monday. You look pale.”
“Okay.”
I don’t know if she says that to stop me from commenting about her looks or if she agrees with me. I bop her nose and she flashes me a smile. If we will do it this time, we must get it right. No third parties. No T.
“We will talk when I get back.” She sighs but nods. I don’t want to have that conversation either but we need to if we want to move past this. I want to answer Bren’s question with more confidence. Go with El to dinners and proudly answer as her husband. “I’m leaving but you, stay. Don’t move. Don’t go anywhere.”
She purses her lips. “If I am not allowed to move, how will I have my bath?”
Her lips break into a smile. I smile too. I push myself up. “Don’t leave the house, okay?”
“Okay.”
“You have to finish your food. No leftovers.”
El glances at the tray and pouts. I shake my head. She can’t buy her way out of this one. I need her to eat. “It’s too much.” My eyes narrow to slits, her fists connect to the bed. She’s such a big baby. “Baby.”
“Nope. The coffee is how you like it. Too sweet to be called coffee and your waffles are just waffles.”
“Fine.”
I hug her. I missed this. “I have to go get ready now,” I whisper against her neck, “but we will discuss when I get back home.” My head rears back, I hold her gaze. “Don’t do anything, El. Just eat and rest.”