El is quiet.
She doesn’t tell me what Mother told her. I maintain my facade of ignorance throughout the ride home. Joshua spares me worried glances through the rearview mirror as El curls against me in the backseat. She’s in shock.
On her order, Joshua stops at a supermarket for her to get some stuff. It takes only a few minutes and she returns to the car with a paper bag she makes both of us swear never to touch without her consent. Once Joshua drives into our compound, she shoots out of the car without so much as a backward glance.
El’s not changing her mind about us making babies, is she? If she doesn’t want more kids, I can learn to live with it but I would appreciate it if she told me that. We need to communicate better. I’ll listen to her.
Joshua gets out of the car at the same time as me. He hugs me tight. I hug him tighter.
Questions linger in his eyes but he doesn’t voice any of them out. “We will talk later.”
“Yes. I will call you. I love you.” It’s the first time I am saying it before him without any prompting. “I’ve not been the best brother to you but you have always been there for me and my twins. Thank you.”
His eyes water, he pats my back. “Thank you too.” On another note, he says, “You are not so bad yourself.” His statement elicits a small smile from me. “I love you too and you should go talk to El. I think she’s upset.”
El shouldn’t be. I wave him goodbye and rush into the house. The twins attack me with hugs and kisses as soon as I step in and I feel bad for forgetting about them. Today has been such a long, emotional day.
“How was school?” I ask.
They drag me to the couch but I don’t sit. I need to talk to El first. “Okay,” they chorus. I should ask more questions but I don’t. “Is Mummy okay?” Wyn asks. “She ran inside the house without kissing us. Why?”
“Mummy is having a bad day,” I explain. “But she will be right down to give you your kisses.”
I excuse myself to hug Brianna. She smiles at me and I bop her nose. She will be mine.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I reach our room in no time. El is pacing. She barely looks at me when I step in. I don’t like it. I stop behind her and tuck my head into the crook of her neck. She lets out a sigh.
“Your mother thinks I’m pregnant,” she says while running her fingers over my hand.
My lips move up her shoulder to her neck, then behind her ear. I whisper, “Is she right?”
El spins in my embrace.
“I don’t know. I can’t say.” She is not sad about it. She is not happy about it. “Why does everyone always know I’m pregnant before me?” That’s a question better suited for a doctor, not a confused husband. I kiss her nose. Her eyes flit to the pregnancy kits I notice for the first time. “I bought ten of those things.”
There are ten opened boxes at the foot of the bed. The instruction manual is crumpled at the floor. At my raised brow, she makes a face and I sweep her off her feet. “Ten? Why did you have to buy ten?”
“In case the first nine are wrong.” I adjust my weight on the bed for her to sit on my lap. My chest rises with laughter and she slaps my arms for laughing at her. She bites her lips. “Will you check? Please.”
Of course I will. I want us to have baby boys.
Minutes of silence later, her arms wrap around my neck. I smile at one of our pictures on the wall. It is one of the pictures from Paris. My hand lowers to El's back and she nibbles on my neck. She’s worried.
“We could be pregnant, baby,” she says. I hope we are.
I nod along to her instructions. Two lines on the stick mean pregnant. One line means not pregnant. Got it. We only want to see double lines. That thought rings loud in my head as I march into the bathroom.
True to her words, there is a cup of urine on the counter with sticks in them. I glance at the door like I can see through it to my Elna. My pulse quickens as I reach for one of the sticks and my breath hitches.
This has to be good. Finally, I take a peek.
Shit.
We are having a baby.
We are having my baby boy.
I drop the testing stick on the counter without telling El. I need to make sure the remaining kits read the same. My heart beats against my ribcage, the second stick trembles in my hand and I almost drop it.
“What does it say?” El screams from behind the door. This one shows the same thing.
Two lines.
“Coming,” I scream back at the door and reach for the third stick. Left to me, this is enough proof to go on but El is a big ball of nervousness so I have to do this. The third one also shows two lines. “Hold on.”
The door bursts open. “You are taking too much time,” El grumbles. I haven’t been here for up to five minutes but I understand her. El stands at the door frame, gazing at the stick in my hand. She gulps hard, then her eyes dart to my face. For a moment, she does nothing but stares at me. “What does it say?”
Again. Two lines.
“That we are having Brandon junior.”
“Really?” My excitement crashes from one hundred to zero at her flat tone. “All nine of them said that?”
She takes a step and another until she’s peering at the stick in my hand. She picks one, tosses it into the trash can as soon as she sees the result. Her lips are between her teeth as she continues to the last one.
“We are pregnant.” At first, El can’t believe it. She stares at the counter while I rinse my hands under the tap. My arms wrap around me from behind and our eyes meet in the mirror. “We are having a baby.”
“A baby boy,” I add. We have to start speaking it into existence from the beginning.
El laughs so hard tears spill from her eyes. “A baby boy. We are having a baby boy.”
It dawns on her then. Our new reality. We will be having an addition to the family. I spin her in my arms to press a kiss to her lips but she dodges it. She bounces on the heel of her feet, too excited to stay still.
I try to hold her but she’s out of my grip, bouncing around in the bathroom with a big grin. She’s such a baby. “El, stop doing that,” I say when she jumps high enough to try and touch the ceiling. She does it again. “Stop. I don’t think it’s good for the baby.”
“Oh, come on,” El says with a laugh. But she stops bouncing. “Exercise is good for the baby.”
I carry her bridal style to our room and place her on the bed. We need to make a doctor’s appointment and a list of what she can and cannot do. For this pregnancy, I will be one hundred percent present.
When our eyes collide, my mind blanks. El undoes her gown. She doesn’t give me the privilege of taking off her clothes. In some seconds, she’s naked and sprawled on the bed, looking up to me with raw desire.
I part her legs with my hand and her breath catches, she pulls her lip between her teeth, wanton lust present in her eyes. I toss my clothes so we are both in the same state of undress. My head lowers to the skin between her legs. I take my first swipe of her divine nectar and inhale her intoxicating scent.
Her scent overwhelms me. I breathe her in. Worship her cunt with my tongue and finger.
My hands go on each side of her hips, she fists my hair as my tongue works her clit. I tease and tease her with my tongue, sliding a finger into her slickness. Her moans fall out of her lips in a beautiful symphony that spurs me to appreciate her more. I lick my way from her vagina to her belly, breasts and her lips.
Silencing her with a smouldering kiss, I slide my tongue into her mouth so she can taste herself. I push a pillow under her waist, she cups my butt and thrusts her hips. In one swift motion, our bodies unite.