Stefan’s POV
“Where are you going?”
I stop in my tracks and turn. Mari’s eyes are on me as she props herself up on a pillow. I walk back to the bed and help her arrange the pillow behind her. “I thought you were sleeping.”
I haven’t left her side since we got back from Red Creek. One of Theodore’s werewolves hurt her and almost got away with her while his partners distracted Max and Levi. But I got there just in time to rip him apart.
He had banged her up so badly that she remained unconscious for a few hours after I brought her home. The healer administered some medication, but she was still in some pain when she woke up. Unlike our kind, shapeshifters don’t have fast healing abilities.
She finally fell asleep an hour ago, and I’ve been watching her. It looked like she would be resting for a while, so I wanted to go downstairs to discuss our next step.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, pulling back when she is comfortable. “Do you need anything?”
She shakes her head. “I feel much better.”
“You’ll be as good as new in a few days. My healer is quite good.”
“I know. She already patched me up once.”
I remember when she first got here, bloodied and wounded. Back then, I promised that I would make sure no one ever hurt her again. But what did I do? Send her away. What was I thinking? If Theodore had gotten her back, it would have been my fault.
She reaches for my hand. “Don’t go. Stay with me.”
I want to. But I also have to make sure that he never gets another chance to hurt her. During the battle at Red Creek, I discovered his biggest weakness.
He might have vampire-fed warriors, but they are far from perfect.
Half of them were having trouble shifting–so did the one who attacked me last night. My guess is that whichever vampire they are feeding from is too powerful. Likely very old. I don’t want to give him time to fix whatever is wrong with his little experiment.
“I have to talk to the others,” I tell her, “arrange a counterattack. He’ll need time to regroup after today’s defeat. I don’t want to give him that time.”
None of his warriors got away from Red Creek today, and I’m assuming he sent some of his best. I want to get him while he is still reeling from today’s defeat.
“I heard that Levi broke his leg, and you are having trouble shifting, right? How can you attack them right now?”
She is right. I’m one man down, and my own wolf is not in great form. But I cannot afford to wait. Besides, while my wolf is not a hundred per cent, I didn’t have any trouble going against today’s attackers.
“I’ll figure that out,” I tell her. “Right now, I need to go and see if we’ve got any intel on Blackrise. If it’s favourable, I’ll pay him a visit right away.”
Mari lurches forward and wraps her arms around my waist. My body thrums at the contact.
“Do you know how scared I was when you sent me away? I thought I would never see you again. And now you want to risk everything…” She shakes her head, tightening her hold on me. “I can’t lose you, Stefan.”
“It’s okay.” I stroke her hair gently. “I won’t send you away again. And I’ll be careful. Once everything is settled, you’ll stay with me, and no one will hurt you again.”
As she clutches to me, a bunch of feelings well up inside me. I regret not protecting her as I should. I feel relieved that she is back here, where I can keep her safe.
Mari pulls back and gazes up at me. “Stefan,” she whispers, “finally.”
I blink. “What?”
She takes a deep breath and then gives me a smile. “Nature doesn’t lie.”
I’m suddenly aware of the scent of pheromones building up in the room. When werewolves meet their destined mate, their bodies give off a strong scent to attract them.
“I really am your fated mate, right?” she asks, getting to her knees on the bed. “That’s why you were looking for me.”
Her face, her eyes, the need roaring in my body…it’s all too much. I shouldn’t fight this. I shouldn’t. But…
I shut my eyes and take deep breaths.
Gwen’s face flashes through my mind.
Gwen.
“You thought she was me, right?” she takes hold of both my hands. “It’s fine, I understand. But you can’t keep on with this lie anymore.”
Gwen, who I’m mated to, who I have a bond with.
“It’s not a lie,” I say.
It can’t be. I felt everything. My body responded to her the way a mate’s should. I wanted to protect her, to keep her with me.
“Look at me,” Mari says.
I open my eyes.
“You want me, don’t you?” Her hands move upwards on my arms. “Your body does not lie, Stefan. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
Why?
She tugs my arm. “Lay with me.”
“No.” I swallow. “I can’t.”
As much as everything inside me wants to do that, I can’t.
Mari lets go of my arms. I take a step back, glad for the separation. It’s hard to think straight when she is touching me.
“Are you in love with her?” she asks, her voice laced with hurt. “Is that why you are choosing her over your destined mate?”
“I–”
“Fine!” She climbs down from the bed.
I grab her arm just as she walks past me. “Where are you going?”
“You don’t want me here, so I’ll leave on my own.”
“I told you, I won’t send you away.”
“Should I stay here and watch you choose her over me, then?” She jerks her arm out of my hold. “Do you know what kept me alive when Theodore locked me up? You. The thought of you. I had to see you again, so I had to survive. Do you know how many shifters he killed because they went against him or tried to escape?”
“Mari–”
“I had to be obedient, do his bidding, so I could stay alive long enough to see you again. And then I finally get away, come here, and find you…” Her voice breaks, and tears well up in her eyes. I reach for her but she takes a step back. “You don’t owe me anything. All along, you’ve been saving me. I’m the one who owes you. I won’t burden you anymore.”
She turns away and rushes to the door. I run after her and get to her in the hallway. I take her by the arm and pull her to me, wrapping her in my arms. She tries to free herself but I hold on tight.
I press her face to my chest and cradle her head with my hand. “Don’t go. I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head. “Just let me go.”
“I’ll make it right,” I promise.
“How?” Her body shudders. “You don’t even want me.”
I pull back and hold her head up so she has to look at me. “I do.” I wipe her tears. “You are the one for me, of course I do.”
Something twists deep inside me. Something that seems to suggest that I don’t really think that.
But it’s such a small thing compared to everything else I’m feeling. I embrace her again, and she relaxes into me.
“Go back inside,” I tell her a bit later. “I promise I won’t do anything reckless. I’ll just have a quick recon with the others, then I’ll be back.”
She looks up at me with a pleading gaze. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
She goes back into the room. I shove my hand into my hair. Everything seems so clear, yet so confusing. Is she right? Have I been lying to Gwen all along? Did I lead her into something that never should have existed because of my desperation?
I move towards the stairs, and that’s when I see her.
I halt.
She is wearing the same clothes she had when I first brought her here. She is also carrying her bag.
While my feet remain rooted to the ground, she walks towards me. She comes to a stop a few feet away.
“So this is it, huh?”
How long has she been standing there? “Gwen…”
What can I say?
“It was foolish of me to think this could go any other way,” she says. “So let me get out of your way.”
“You can’t leave,” I say.
She looks me straight in the eyes. “Why not? I’m not the one you were looking for.” Her eyes shift to the wall behind me. “Don’t worry, I won’t break your werewolf code of existence or whatever. I’ll live a quite life as a human as much as I can.”
“It’s not as easy as you think.”
“Nothing has ever been easy for me.”
I take a step forward. “This is all my fault. Let me fix it.”
Her gaze comes back to me. “You can’t.” She steps back as if to take back the distance I removed between us. “Hanna once told me that verbal rejection only works if you are fated to each other. We are not, so all I have to do is walk away, right?”
“Where will you go?”
A smile, not a happy one, forms on her lips. “Somewhere you can’t find me.” She takes another step back. “Goodbye, Stefan.”
I watch her walk away from me.
I don’t stop her.
There’s no pain. No desperation to keep her by my side. Just a deep emptiness where my heart’s supposed to be.