CHAPTER 15. MY MATE LOVES ANOTHER
RYDER
Standing with my shoulders slumped, waiting impatiently for her permission was certainly not my favorite moment. It was almost a minute and she was yet to say something. She was just staring at me, with a furrowed brow and a confused look. Her expression didn't quite define what her exact thoughts at the moment were. And I had to know, what she thought of my request to come in. My heart raced at the possibility of her turning down my request. I, for one, will never force myself inside but I will not be able to leave here either. It's gonna be a dilemma. A fucked up dilemma, to be exact.
I didn't want to do it again. I didn't want to tap into her mind, at least, without her consent. But the wait was killing me, and she didn't seem like she was going to be giving me a reply anytime soon. I had to know for sure what my chances were. If at the end of this waiting, she'll let me in.
Although, it was understandable that she'd be so startled by my visit. I mean, she never gave out her address, so seeing me here all of a sudden would be a little unnerving to her, I must admit. And trust me, I never meant to be an intruder either. But what was I supposed to do when she'd left my office in such a hysterical manner and I was restless with thoughts of her not being okay?
I had to see for myself that she was okay. Had to know she wasn't so disoriented by my actions - Red's actions.
It wasn't a hard feat figuring out where she lived. When I rushed out into the rain, her scent lingered heavily inside the rain. Sweet lavender mixed with the saltiness of her tears. The rain held onto them like it was trying to give me a trail of her.
I hurried into my car and gently followed the scent until I arrived at a building where it lingered stronger.
It was disheartening to see where she lived. Here in Red Cross pack, there were slum areas, but this was the height of it all. This was a ghetto, specifically for cracks and weirdos.
And what's crazy should be the fact that a few years back, I'd tried to make them sophisticated. Revamp the area and give it a little city buzz.
But in less than a few months, the place was back to being a wreck. It was obvious they liked it better undeveloped. Maybe it synchs with their level of craziness.
The point is, this was a very unhealthy area. How the heck did Hara wind up here? Now more than ever, I was eager to make her mine and get her the hell out of here. This was no place for a decent woman, especially a pregnant one.
I found a spot for my car and traced which one of the buildings held the scent stronger than the other. The houses were built so close to each other in an insane way. Whoever made the building plans had its stupidity at an all-time high.
I tried focusing on the scent instead and one of the buildings at the extreme seemed to be it.
My heart fell at how close to collapsing the building was. Just what happened to Hara that she had no choice but to be here? If she had such a great life back in her pack, why was she here, in a building so hopeless?!
Standing out here in the rain with so many questions wasn't ideal. Going in without a present didn't seem quite ideal either. I should get her something, at least, to appease her. That's how the romantics do it, right? Pfft! I'm just clueless at these lovey-dovey shit. But I should get her something. Perhaps, a flower.
My upper lips raised in a smile, remembering that she did love flowers. I hurried back to my car and spotted the area for a flower shop.
It was a long drive before I spotted a flower shop. I picked up a finely, arranged rose bouquet and drove back to the building.
I went into the building and tried the elevator. It wasn't working. Had to take the stairs until I came to a halt on the fourth floor. The scent had ended there. There were six doors on the floor, but it wasn't hard to figure out which was hers. Her scent hovered right outside the door.
And for the few minutes, we stood together, I couldn't boldly say I had the situation under control. First, she'd rejected my flowers. Now, she was skeptical about letting me in.
I waited a little longer and my patience snapped. I tapped into her mind, trying to pick up her thoughts. But they were all low and unsure. Like, a thousand voices saying stuff at the same time. She had a million thoughts running at the same time, and I couldn't pick up any.
Shit! This just got more hopeless. I saw her hand go to the doorknob and I was prompted to say something.
“It's raining out there. Surely, you're not going to throw me out. Will you?“
She paused the movements with her hand. “I'm sorry, Alpha-Prince…“
“Please. I just need to talk to you. And that's why I came all the way here. Throwing me out would be inhumane of you,“ I felt like an ass for guilt-tripping her, but I had to use whatever method to get myself inside.
“But –“ She fell quiet again. The battle between her mind and brain was obvious in her facial expression. She wants to let me in, but at the same time, she doesn't want to
“I promise I'm just going to talk for a few minutes,“
“How did you know where I lived?“ She asked.
“A coworker gave me your address,“ The lie slid out of my lips perfectly. I hope she believes it, 'cause from what I heard, no one knew where she lived.
She nodded with no further interrogation. Which meant someone in the bar does know where she lives. I had to find out who that person was.
“Come in,“ Her approval snatched me away from my thoughts. A triumphant smile flashed on my face as I walked in.
In a building so beat-up, she'd done a nice work of making her room tidy.
She cleared up her throat in a quick attempt and I was sure that was my cue to start talking. But the crazy thing was, I didn't know what to say. Or, I did know what to say, but not sure how to begin. My back was to her, so she couldn't see me struggling so much for the right words.
I quickly mind-linked Jason, as I needed someone to help me out.
“Ryder,“ His voice came in a rush. “Where are you?“
“Hara's place,“ I replied through my mind. I glanced at her to be sure she had no idea what I was doing. And she didn't. She was just shrunk in fright and had her head bowed.
“What? How did you find out where she lived?!“
“I followed her scent.“
“Woah, okay. Ryder, you need to hurry back. You've got meetings…“
“Cancel them.“ I ruffed. “Right now, I need you to help me out,“
“Your Father needs you in the palace. He called for an urgent meeting. It's about the sudden rain and why it happened,“
“I'm afraid you'll have to attend in my place.“ I quickly replied, not even giving it a second thought.
“What?! Nah, man. Your Father wouldn't appreciate my presence. And he sure as hell will quiz me about your whereabouts,“
”Just tell him I'm attending an urgent meeting. Now, shut the fuck up and let me talk!“
”Sure. What is it?“
“I need you to help me - uh - help me…“ Shit! It was hard finally admitting that I was clueless when it came to females. Jason always teased me about it, but It never bothered me. Now it was crushing my ego, asking for help from the one person who always taunted me on the issue.
“Help you do what?“
“Talk to Hara,“ I exhaled. “I need you to give me the right words to win her over.“
A brief silence but I could hear him snickering. Jerk!
“What happened?“ He finally asked.
“Nothing. I just convinced her to let me in and that's it. I'm not sure what else to say. And I've got this bouquet in my hand and she wouldn't even accept it,“
“Well, convince her to. You don't plan on returning with it, do you?“
“No, I don't. But I got to say something and I'm not sure how to start. I don't want to freak her out as I did in the office,“
“It's easy, man. Firstly, don't get too close to her. Give her space,“
That was a fucked advice because I sought proximity with her. Giving her space would kill me, or leave me half-dead.
“Secondly, don't be impulsive. Keep the conversation light. And do not tell her that you think she's your mate,“
“She is my mate!“
“Fine, she is. But don't tell her that, yet. She's going to freak out and you don't want that, do you?“
“What's the next advice?“ I asked instead, ignoring his words.
“Keep your wolf in check, please.“
“I already did that.“
“Just make it seem like you were impressed by her working abilities, and you came to tell her that the complaint filed against her is invalid. And she can continue working in your bar.“
“Thanks, man,“ I ended the mind-link and finally turned around.
Seems like I caught her off guard 'cause she was looking up and I finally got the chance to stare at her blue eyes. But it was short-lived as she quickly bowed again.
Her hands were circling the hem of her nightgown. The gown was short and somewhat transparent. You could make out her panties. Her nipples were sticking through it too. And her movements at the hem made the gown go up a little, exposing some bit of her inner thighs.
I bit down my lower lips, silencing the cuss that almost escaped me. How was she pregnant and yet so sexy? I couldn't keep my eyes off her nipples that seemed to be calling out to me. I imagined sucking and biting at them and it gave me an instant boner.
I felt the bulge in my fly and I quickly covered my fly with the bouquet I was holding. If she saw how swollen I've gotten, she most definitely will freak out.
I had to keep my eyes off all those parts of her that were torturing my dick and just kept my eyes on her face either. Her innocent face. If only she knew what she was doing to me right now.
She made another weak attempt of clearing her throat.
“I had to stop by. Uh, the report filed against you was just a wrong accusation. I came to tell you that,“
“B…“
“And you shouldn't worry about anything and just resume your working schedule from tomorrow,“
“But I don't want to work in the bar anymore,“ She said, in a low tone.
“What?! Why not?“
“I just…“ She bit her lips, fidgeting.
“What?“ I pressed on. Jason had said not to be impulsive and just keep the conversation light. But I hadn't seen this coming. And I wasn't given a pep talk on the calmer way to react.
“I don't want to….“
“Why?“ My voice was getting hoarse and I knew it wasn't good.
“Because…because…“ She shut her eyes in a whimper. She couldn't finish the statement but I could figure out the ending.
“Because of me?“ I waited. And she gave a slow nod. That crushed my soul, and I was almost on the verge of tearing up and raining down vents.
“Please…“
“Hara, I'm sorry about earlier. It was my wolf, not me. I would never hurt you on purpose. You got to understand that,“
She looked up and her eyes were teary. “You know my name…“
“Yes,“ I admitted, and there was no hesitation in it. Jason had warned about not telling her she was my mate. But I feared that was the route this conversation just took.
“How?“
I swallowed past a lump in my throat. How? Her question echoed in my head. Do I tell her?
”It's a long story, and I'm going to tell you about it later. Right now, I need you to understand that you don't have to quit because of me,“ was my reply.
“I just don't want to…“
“Please.” I found myself closing up the distance and standing toe to toe with her. Jason's advice just went to hell.
She took a step backward and I found my hand going around her waist and pulling her closer before I realized what I'd done.
She flinched. ”Alp…Alpha…”
“Ryder. It's Ryder, to you,“ I cooed, staring warmly into her eyes. If only she'd read my stares as I read hers. Then she'll realize I'm the last person she should be afraid of.
Her eyes were shut again but it was releasing teardrops. I had an impulse, and I just acted on it. Slowly, I lowered my lips to her face, kissing away the tears. Our breaths embraced each other in a surreal manner. Her lips were just an inch away and I was stuck in that position, contemplating whether or not to seal mine on hers. I found myself lowering for her lips, but just when I was reaching for it, her thoughts came out loud.
Roland!!!
I froze. I listened and she was going on and on, calling out her mate from her pack.
Rage flushed down my spine and I quickly let go of her. My jaw twitched in anger and I had my free hand inside my pocket. It was safer there.
“If he was so damn doting and amazing, why are you here alone?” The question came out in a rasp, but I was quick to tone it down by adding,“ Why isn't he with you?“ in a calmer way.
“Huh?“ Her eyes were open and she was staring at me confusedly.
“Where's ….“ Again, I couldn't say the word 'mate'. But I couldn't call his name either. “Where's your….mate?“ I finished forcefully.
“Why are you asking about him?“ She asked in a rush.
”Believe me, I don't care about him. I don't want to know anything about him. I just find it funny that you're here, and he's in hell,”
“He's not…“
“If you defend him like this, I'm scared of what I might do when I finally get my hands on him.“ I warned sternly.
She was hesitant in giving a reply, but she seemed a bit composed now. I guess talking about her phony - mate had her composed so she could take his defense.
“What do you want from me and my mate?“ She asked a bit firmly, roughly wiping at her endless tears.
”What if he isn't?“ I retorted, in an almost whisper. “What if you wake up one morning and realize he isn't your mate?“
“What?“
“What if your real mate is out there somewhere, going crazy to have you, but can't?”
”I have a mate…“
“Just what if he isn't your mate and you lived a lie all these years?!!“
She was quiet. But in the next minute, she was firmly pointing to the door.
“Please leave, Alpha-prince. Please,”
If her words weren't enough to damage me, this just killed me beyond reviving.
I wasn't sure how to react. But I knew that I couldn't stick around any longer.
I nodded. “Have this,“ I slowly forced the bouquet into her arms.
I gave her one last look and headed for the door. It was the saddest thing I ever had to do. Deep down, it was raining tears. But I held my demeanor and left her room.
Shutting the door, I leaned against it. Jason had warned me, and I failed to follow his words. But if he only knew how dejected I'd felt, hearing her calling out 'his' name.
I tried for a poker face as I headed down the stairs. But there was no denying it. I was hurting, and it was because my mate loves another.