CHAPTER 66.
HARA
“Who?!“ Hailey gasped, spilling her drink all over the place. Her loud gasp attracted stares to us from the customers in the coffee shop we were in. I clamped my hand over her mouth, shushing her, but she slapped off my hand.
“Keep it down, Hailey, please,” I pleaded with her, wiping off the wetness of the drink she'd spilled from my hand with my handkerchief. She also wiped off the drops of the drink that spilled on the table.
What a mess she made.
We decided to hang out in a coffee shop that opened up recently, and we were having chilled, non-alcoholic drinks as I told her everything that happened last night at the Silver Pack party.
I only mentioned Roland's name right now and she gasped like crazy, disrupting the peace of the coffee shop.
“Wait, are you being serious right now?“ Hailey asked in confusion. I nodded to her, but she sighed, “I don't understand this. I mean, how did Roland find you? How did he know you were gonna be at the party last night? This whole just doesn't make any sense,“
”I don't think he knew I was gonna be at the party last night. The party was for Alphas and Betas of different packs. Roland might not be a Beta, but Alpha Jake (the Alpha of Hara's old pack) takes him wherever he goes. I think that's why he was at the party last night,”
“Are you trying to say that it was just a coincidence?“
“Yeah, I think so,“ I nodded. It had to be just a coincidence. I haven't seen and spoken to Roland for a long while. He had no idea that I was with Ryder, so there's no way he came to the party last night just to see me.
“And Ryder? What was his reaction when he saw Roland?“ Hailey asked, impatient to hear the gossip.
I sighed, remembering just how angry he was last night, even though he was fighting to keep it in check. It was a hard spot for him.
“He was furious but fought hard not to show it. Silver Pack's Luna had already picked a fight with me and created quite a scene. Ryder didn't want to create any more ugly scenes, so he held his cool. He even had to call Darius to get Roland's hand off me,“ I explained to her.
”Why did Roland hold your hand?” She asked.
“I have no idea, Hailey. But the way he held my hand so tightly was one thing that made last night even more complicated,“
Saying last night was complicated is putting it mildly. Last night was more than complicated, it knocked me off balance. I'm emotionally distraught right now and downright confused.
Seeing Roland awakened a lot of emotions inside me. And I can't seem to make a decision.
“Did you have a talk with Ryder about this when you guys got home?” Hailey asked, stealing me away from my thoughts.
”No, I didn't,”
“Why not?“
I couldn't answer her question but I recalled just what happened between Ryder and I when we got home. The memories of it made me shudder. It was the first, one-sided fuck I've ever had. He wouldn't let me touch him, no matter how much I tried to.
He was broken, I saw it in his eyes, felt it in his thrusts, caresses, and kisses. He fucked me like he was trying to send a message to me. Like he was trying to remind me how much he loves me. That left me even more distraught.
I'm still unsure of how seeing Roland again made me feel but it seems Ryder already knows that I've got a weak spot for Roland. I don't wanna admit to myself how much my heart still beats for Roland, but it seems Ryder already figured that out and it was hurting him.
“Hey, girl,“ Hailey tapped my hand repeatedly and I blinked myself back to reality.
”I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tune you out. I just remembered something,“ I quickly apologized to her.
“No matter what it is you're thinking about so hard, I still suggest you talk to Ryder. The both of you need to sort this out, you need to assure him that he's the one you love and Roland doesn't have a place in your heart anymore,”
I wanted to agree with her but I just couldn't. If I say that I have totally forgotten about Roland, then it's a lie, and lying to her would only make me feel worse.
I thought I'd forgotten about him, but after seeing him last night, I realized that he was still in my heart. I still feel a strong attachment to him. And that's unfair to Ryder.
“Hara, listen to me, “Hailey said, after noticing my hesitation in agreeing with her, “Don't forget how much Roland hurt you in the past. Don't forget all the misery he put you through and how he made your life hell. You shouldn't think about him or get excited about his return. You deserve a man who loves and adores you, and we both know that man is Ryder,“
Yes, she's right. Roland hurt me more than I could count. He beat me up and fucked me countless times without my permission. He cheated on me and didn't allow me to make any friends so I don't rat him out to them. He did a lot of horrible things to me, but still, I can't help but feel excited. My heart still beats for him and I don't know how to make it stop.
“You don't love Roland anymore, right?“ Hailey asked me in all seriousness.
If I told her about my indecisiveness, she might just get mad at me. So I better just agree with her.
“Yes, I don't love that monster anymore, “ I lied. She smiled and took a sip of her drink.
We changed the topic and began discussing her upcoming birthday. It's a good thing the storm has gone down a bit, all we get now are drizzles. But the heavy rain hasn't come for some days now. We should make use of this time and prepare for her party, even if it's just a small gathering before the storm hits again.
We chatted for hours and then decided to head home. We paid the bills and left the coffee shop, waiting for a taxi.
“Hara!“ Someone called out my name and we turned to see who it was. My breath hitched at the sight of Roland walking towards us. Wait, is this for real, or are my eyes deceiving me?“
“Is that…Roland?” Hailey asked me, and only then did I believe that what I was seeing was real. It's indeed Roland, he found me again.
A while ago, I'd told Hailey that I didn't love him anymore, but who am I kidding?