CHAPTER 70. THE TALK
HARA
His words reverberated In my head and got me instantly sick-pale. Hearing him mention my dead child did nothing but strike up the pain that I locked away in the basement of my heart.
Tears rolled down my eyes and my heart sank into an ocean of bitterness. I sniffed back my tears but they rolled down even more. My fingers clutched the straps of my bag in my fight to keep my tears in check, but it was too damn hard. They wouldn't stop rolling down, I was weak against them as I couldn't hold them in.
“Including our child, Hara?“ Roland asked in a pensive tone, coming closer to me. He stopped a few inches away from me, he was too close our warm breaths caressed each other.
I couldn't keep my rage in check anymore. My emotions were overwhelming and I'll probably explode soon if I don't vent it out.
I didn't expect my outburst to be this massive, but in the next second, I went ballistic, flinging my bag across his face and it slammed his eyes shut.
“How dare you?! How dare you talk about a child you never knew existed?!“ I yelled in tears, and my words oozed off the renewed pain from the loss of my child.
Roland flashed me a stunned glare and his cheek had a small slit covered with blood. It was from the hard contact of my bag's zipper to his face. Probably the first time I ever gave him a scar, that's why he looks so stunned.
“I was carrying your child and you never noticed. You abused my body and forced me to have an excruciating threesome with your bitch. You beat me up and treated me like trash, without the slightest idea that I was carrying your child. Now all of a sudden, you're interested in the child?“
”How was I supposed to know about your pregnancy if you didn't tell me about it?“
“Are you kidding me?!” I gasped, infuriated by his insensitive question, “You're my mate, Roland. It's part of the mate bond to notice when your mate is carrying a child. How didn't you notice, not even once?“ I asked bitterly, my voice choking with tears.
I've always been bugged by this question. Roland didn't notice I was carrying his child, which is weird as fuck. He's my mate, we've been together for years, he was supposed to notice. But he never did, and I thought it was a glitch in our mate bond. But when I came to this pack, and Ryder noticed at first sight, it made me doubt my bond with Roland. And even though I never really agreed with Ryder's theory that I'm his mate, the fact that he noticed my child made me give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm not sure it's possible that Ryder is my mate, as I already have a mate, but he has to be something to me, for us to seem to attract the way we do.
“So what if I had a little oversight and didn't notice your pregnancy until you left? That doesn't mean I can't ask after my child. I'm the Father of the child, and you can never change that, no matter how hard you try,“ He started grievously, leaving me utterly confused.
”What are you trying to say?“ My eyes squinted at him as I tried to understand the meaning behind his words.
“I might have been an ass, Hara. I might have been the worst mate there ever would be. But that doesn't change the paternity of my child, so I won't let you give my paternity rights to some cocky Alpha,“
I hacked back my tears and demanded to know what he was hinting at. No room for mind games.
He chuckled dryly, “Don't try to play dumb with me. I might have given you a lot of pain, but not once did I act crass like you're doing now,“
“If you think you can show up out of the blue and slander my name for no reason, then you must be out of your mind,” I blasted him and it came as a shocker to him. His eyes widened even more at my insulting words. I've always been my most polite with him, even back when he tortures me every day.
“I see you changed a lot, Hara,“ He muttered in dismay, shaking his head, “Not only did you learn how to be mean with your words, but you also learned how to be a gold-digger. Sucking up to that Alpha-Prince, trying to replace me with him. That's really low of you, Hara. I expected better from you,“ He deadpanned.
I went speechless and glanced around to be sure no one was witnessing this altercation of ours. We were on the sidewalk and could probably be a fun sight to some passerby. I glanced again but there was no one watching us and that made me somewhat relieved.
I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty right now, and that's sick because the real villain was him. I shouldn't feel guilty for anything, but the guilt feeling rested in my heart. It had been sprung up by his words.
“All I ever did was give Ryder a chance to make my world better,“ I said, hating that I had to explain myself to him. What rights does he have? He never even looked for me until now.
“On what terms? That he becomes your second - mate? Or he takes the paternity of your child? Or were you giving him some bit of pleasure?“
“That's none of your business,“
“The hell it isn't! I fucked a thousand pussies but I never tried turning any of them into my mate. You can give me that at least. But you…“ He scoffed disdainfully, and that struck a blow on my ego, “Just a few months of being away from me, you're already sucking up to another man, that's pathetic, Hara,“
“How dare you?!“ I seethed, wishing nothing more than to hit him so hard until he went unconscious. How dare he judge me like that without hearing my side of the story?
“The truth hurts, right? Deal with it. You know, when you left, I thought you needed some time alone, and that's why I never bothered coming after you. If I only knew that you've been playing the whore for him, I would have come to get you sooner,“
“I wasn't playing the whore for anyone!“
”Really? Hara, you made him break up with his fiancee, and then you made him take you into the palace. Now he's all over you, acting all possessive like he owns you. What do you stand to gain from all that? Money, power, or a Father for your child?“
“You got no idea…“
“Maybe, but do know this. Men like him would never give up their power and glory for a woman. He might treat you like the most important thing in his life, but what happens when he gets tired of you and tosses you aside? Just like he did to the many women he's been with, and to Ciara. Don't fall for his tricks. Whatever love he claims to have for you is just a mirage,“
“You're wrong. Ryder isn't that kind of person…“
“Do you really believe that or you don't wanna accept the truth for what it is? He'll never really love you, and can never accept your child…“
“My child is dead, you nit-wit!” I shrieked, bursting into fresh tears, ”I lost my baby in all the complications I went through, and from what I was fed when I got kidnapped by rogues,”
”Wh-what are you talking about?“
”You heard me. I got kidnapped by rogues and I lost my child to whatever concussion they fed me. The child you speak about is long dead,”
”Ro-rogues? When? How the fuck…?” He mused, looking rather thrown off balance by what I just said. He seemed disoriented like this was such a big deal for him. Was it the fact that I lost the child he wanted, or was it the fact that I was kidnapped by rogues, what part of what I just said had him in knots?
“Ryder took care of me through that pain, he helped me heal. And you were nowhere to be found when you were supposed to be my mate. So if there's someone who should be blamed right now, it's you!“
I finalized this shitty argument as I sighted Ryder's chauffeur getting closer to us in his car. I hurried to him but Ronald held me back, wrapping his arms tightly around me.
”I'm sorry, Hara. I didn't know. I should have known. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, mate…“