They both rushed towards the hospital. Her legs shivering, her heart thumping wildly in her chest as she moved towards the room where she was admitted. Her family gathered outside the door, surrounding the doctor.
Zahra rushed towards the doctor, grabbing his attention.
"What's the condition of my mother? Is she fine now?"
"She had been through a shock and her body couldn't bear the stress due to which her glucose and blood pressure lowed causing a nervous breakdown" the Doctor informed.
"What?" she whispered, her eyes widening.
"When she will be conscious again?" Her uncle asked.
"Anytime soon but it totally depends upon the stress. Pray that she gets conscious soon otherwise we would have to connect food pipes to provide her nutrients. The more her consciousness delays, the more will be the threat to her life." he apprised when the nurse called him over as he went to attend an emergency case.
Her grandmother, her uncle, Asma and Saif were their while the rest of people in the haveli. They moved inside the room and sat on the sofas, while Irtaza went away somewhere calling someone.
Zahra's eyes analysed the state of her mother. Drips were connected through sharp needles inserted into her hand. An oxygen mask was connected, she could hear the low beeping sound of the machines and see the irregular lines of her heartbeat shown on the cardiometer, which convinced her that her mother was alive.
"I dont know what stress Ammara had taken? She was all well two to three days ago" her grandma muttered.
"I hope she gets well soon" her uncle prayed to which everyone replied with a 'Amen'
"For how many days she will be unconscious? Will she gain her stability soon?" her grandma asked worriedly.
"InshAllah soon mother. You and Baba must go home and take rest. I and mama are here to look after her and we have Irtaza bhai too with us. So you both go" Saif answered.
"No son I am fine here. I'll be here until my daughter in law gets her consciousness back again."
"Mother, Saif is saying right. You should go and take rest, and you can come back tomorrow. Come I'll drop you." Her uncle stated.
"No Haroon, Zahra is here all alone. Who will comfort her?" she said looking towards Zahra whose face was void of any emotion. She looked traumatic, looking towards her mother unconscious state, tears flowing down her eyes.
"I am here mother, even Irtaza is too. Please don't worry, You may go and come back tomorrow."
"Fine then, I will come back tomorrow but do take care of my Zahra" she stated and stood up with the help of Saif before placing a warm kiss on Zahra's forehead and giving her a reassuring smile before moving out with her son, Haroon and going back to haveli.
Asma sat beside Zahra and soothed her, giving her various reassuring sentences which didn't affect her as she was too lost in her world.
She had no hope. She knew the time has came, her mother will leave her now like her father.
Asma placed Zahra's head on her lap so she could sleep while Haseeb went outside to bring something to eat.
An hour passed just like that, the nurses were leaving and coming to keep a check on the patient but her eyes were wide open, looking lifelessly towards her mother. Neither Irtaza nor Saif came back and when she got up, she found her Aunt has slept.
She stood up, moving towards her mother and tears formed in her eyes, looking at her state. Just four days ago she had met her, she was looking fine, she couldn't spot any symptoms for her nervous breakdown.
She conjectured on what stress caused her nervous breakdown?
Bending down, she placed a kiss on her mother's forehead when a tear fell on her mother's eye lids which she cleared and she immediately looked away.
She couldn't witness it anymore, she can't see her strong mother laying lifelessly on the bed.
It made her feel suffocated and she got out of the room, moving towards the garden of the hospital so she could have some fresh air.
Why was she being tested so harshly?
Will Allah take her mother too?
Will she be alone in this world?
Will her life never be normal?
Her mother was all she had and she knew Allah won't listen to her this time too. He will take her away as He took away her father.
Thousands of thoughts consumed her mind, making it more and more chaotic. She was in trauma. She was unable to feel anything.
She was emotionless, a weird darkness was succumbing her, she was falling into the void.
She should cry, she should pray, she should sob in the same way when she used to feel helplessness because of Irtaza's torture but no, she wasn't feeling anything. Only silent tears were cascading down her eyes and her brain wasn't comprehending any emotion.
Her heart and mind was in so much pain that her system went traumatic.
Moving towards the garden, she sat on an empty bench, the hospital was highly secured, the guards were around everywhere and even at this hour of night, it was filled with alot of people, still she could witness hustle and bustle.
She looked around when her eyes fell on a corpse covered by a white sheet being placed into an ambulance.
Her heart stopped beating at that moment. Her eyes widened as her throat clogged.
"Will my mother die too?" Zahra whispered, looking towards the scene infront of her. She could see a young girl standing by that ambulance, crying wholeheartedly as if that person was too dear to her.
"Will she leave me alone?" she muttered, while seeing a young boy consoling the girl and the ambulance door shutting close, then moving towards its destination.
She could listen her slow heartbeat in her ear.
Utter terror had occupied her.
"I can't afford leaving you mama" she mumbled, her voice emotionless but her heart could feel the fear. The fear of losing her mother.
"Nothing will happen" his voice suddenly made her jump and her eyes widened.
He was standing behind the bench, looking at her when he turned around and sat by her side.
"Nothing will happen."
Zahra shook her head.
"I know she will die, she sill leave me like my father, she will leave me like every other person left me, she will leave me alone in that dark room, where I was chained, she will leave me. I have no hope"
"You want to cry." he stated and then she knew it was all igniting inside her, she was being traumatic.
"No, I don't (hiccup) want to" her voice shaking when a sob escape her mouth.
She didn't want to cry. It will make her feel weak, and she didn't want to feel more weaker than she already was.
"Let it out" he muttered, understanding, her numb, cold and emotionless state.
She was being traumatic, keeping everything inside. He knew she hadn't even recovered from his doings when got the news about her mother. And all of these depressing feelings are attacking on her system leaving her in a trauma.
"I have cried enough, I don't want to cry anymore." she restrained the hiccup falling to come out before clearing her tears. "You have made me weak enough, I have never felt so weak and helpless in my life, I have never found myself so useless after what you have done to me, I won't cry anymore, it will make me feel more weaker." she stated in her quivering heavy voice before getting up and leaving him all alone their.
He sighed taking in a deep breath, she was right but he wasn't wrong at the same time.
Her tears were doing things to his heart, he wanted to give peace to her, he wanted to comfort her, assure her that nothing will happen to her mother.
At the moment he wasn't caring about what his mind was saying, he was only feeling and listening to the voice of his heart which said that she needs comfort and reassurance.
His love was dominating his hate.
.................
Two days passed but Ammara didn't wake up yet. Zahra was worried sick, her mother wasn't waking up and it was increasing her fear with every passing second.
Her nights spent in staring the unconscious form of her mother, the doctors had connected the food pipes now. Zahra hadn't slept for two days, she would cry silently, the tears would keep flowing down her eyes but she wont feel anything except numbness and a slight hint of fear.
Her grandmother had insisted her to come to haveli and take some rest but she denied, neither she was able to eat anything, surviving on mere water and some fruits which her family forced her to eat.
She was keeping everything inside, she wasn't letting her grief out.
But yesterday something weird happened, her grandfather came to the hospital, she had barely talked to him since her entrance into the haveli.
Her grandpa, placed his hand on her mother's head, asking for forgiveness, small tears flowing down his eyes which he had cleared immediately.
"I'm sorry Ammara. I wanted to accept you as my daughter in law since the very next day Mujtaba left this haveli but my arrogance, my pride hindered me from accepting my own son and daughter in law, back into this haveli. I am sorry for what I did to you" he had whispered to her mother and something else too which she couldn't hear and then hugged Zahra.
"I am sorry daughter, I am sorry for my every wrongdoing. But I already have endured the punishments of my every oppression, I lost my son, I didn't even see his face before he was buried six feet under the ground. I am sorry." he muttered near her ear whilst clearing his tears.
Zahra could see the solemn and majestic persona of his grandfather dwindling. He never had seen him getting teary but now he had tears in his eyes and he was asking for forgiveness. He could see it in his eyes, how regretful he was.
She forgave him, wholeheartedly.
If he was truly sorry then why she should prolong the bitterness between them.
And last night her damn broke, she couldn't keep it inside her anymore, she was alone in the room, still looking towards her mother like a possessed person, without blinking.
Her mother hadn't waken up. She was dying, her patience was crumbling, the strong facade of being strong was diminishing, she couldn't hold it anymore. She couldn't see her mother dying.
"Mama, please wake up" she whispered, standing by her bed, her chin quivering.
But her mother's eyes didn't open.
"Mama, please wake up" she repeated, her tone depicting the amount of helplessness she felt at that moment.
But her mother's eyes didn't open.
"Mama don't go. Don't leave (hiccup) me Mama" she hiccupped and then she broke. She couldn't hold it anymore.
But her eyes didn't open.
"MAMA! PLEASE SEE THE STATE OF YOUR DAUGHTER! OPEN YOUR EYES! SEE HOW HELPLESS AND WEAK SHE IS FEELING!!" she sobbed, her body begin to shake with her sobs.
It was night, no one was in the room other than her. Irtaza had went to the cafe to bring something to eat for Zahra.
"YOU DON'T LOVE ME THAT'S WHY YOU ARE NOT OPENING YOUR EYES?! DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE DON'T!!" She cried, her shaking legs couldn't bear her weight anymore and she fell on the floor, crying hysterically when Irtaza entered.
His eyes widened on seeing her crying so badly and he rushed towards her.
"Zahra!" he said before squatting down to her level, and prying her hand off of her face.
Her face was red, big tears falling down her eyes, her body was shaking with her sobs.
"She isn't waking up (hiccup) she will leave (hiccup) me she will die too" she hiccuped.
"She won't Zahra, she won't die. She will wake up anytime soon." Irtaza reassured before clasping her in his arms and she cried heartily in his arms, hugging him tightly, her tears wetting his shirt.
"She will leave me" she sobbed, clenching his shirt.
"Leave me like everyone did"
"She will leave me"
"I will be alone" she cried, her voice getting muffled.
Irtaza caressed her hair to comfort her and soon enough her sobs died down but he remained still in that position. A few minutes later, when he slightly pulled back, he found her sleeping making him chuckle.
"You are such a Nobita, Zahra" he whispered, a small smile etching on his lips before he slowly stood up, carrying her in his arms and placed her on the sofa, covering her with blanket.
He bent down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before clearing her tears and then left the room.
The next morning Zahra woke up, it was after two days she had a complete sleep otherwise since the day she came into this hospital, she hadn't slept properly.
Her eyes groggily opened matching with the sun rays coming from the window before she sat and looked towards the blanket.
Then every memory of last night hit her like a truck and she recalled how she slept in his arms making several questions arise in her mind, and the most prominent of them was, 'why was he being soft to her?' when her eyes fell on her grandmother who came to hospital this morning while she was sleeping.
She was sitting on the prayer matt offering her namaz and when she was done she raised her hand for Dua, praying for Ammara's quick recovery.
When her grandma was done with her prayer, she folded the matt and then sat beside Zahra.
"Dadi do you believe that Allah would listen to your prayer?" Zahra asked.
"Indeed daughter"
"How?"
"That's my faith"
"But Allah never listens to me Dadi. He never listens to my prayers."
" You are wrong daughter, be sure to ask from Allah with the faith of acceptance of prayer, because Allah does not answer the negligent and reckless hearts."
"I did Dadi, I had a complete faith that He will listen to my dua but He didn't and then I never prayed again. I didn't find the use of praying anymore."
Her grandmother smiled. She understood her.
"Zahra, there are two scenarios in which a man can get far away from his God and one of them is, when he prays from Allah and his prayers are not accepted but keep on knocking the door of Divine Mercy, it will be opened to you because He Allah, is your Creator, He knows the best for you. If He does not accepts there must be a cause behind it to save you from some harm. Pray daughter, pray, indeed He will listen as He is The most Merciful, The most Beneficent."
"I can't Dadi, I have been a rebel since years, why would He accept my prayers now?"
"Because He is the most Merciful, it doesn't matter how many steps you have taken away from Him, it only takes a single step of repentance to go back to Him."
......................
She laid the prayer matt on the floor, a shiver running down her spine. It was after 5 long years she was going to prostrate before her God, The wahda hu la sharik, The ever living, The Powerful, The Omniscient, The Creator.
Allah
Certainly, there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of [all] existence.
Neither drowsiness overtakes Him nor sleep.
Indeed to Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth.
The one who is the Most High, the Most Great.
Tears brimmed in her eyes. She couldn't understand that feeling. Her heart was shuddering violently in her chest making her breaths shaky.
She stood on the matt to offer her namaz.
After 5 long years.
Her hands raised to her shoulders to say the takbeer, "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the greatest)
After 5 long years.
After the qayam, she bowed down to rukoo and recited, Subhana Rabbiyal Azeem (Glory to be my Lord, the Almighty)
After 5 long years.
At last she prostrated before her god, reciting, Subhana Rabbiyal Ala, (Glory to be my Lord, the Most High)
After 5 long years...
An overwhelming feeling encompassing her, making her heart shudder.
She was infront of her Creator, The Creator of the 7 skies, The Lord of the worlds.
This thought was making her body shake.
Soon, she was done with her namaz and raised her hands for Dua.
She didn't know why but her heart felt at peace, she was relaxed, she felt as if every sorrow will be removed from her life, as if her every problem will be solved, she was content after so long.
An ineffable tranquillity and calmness has encompassed her heart as she continued to whisper every difficult she had faced.
Her every trouble, every worry, everything as she prayed excessively for her mother's health, tears flowing down her eyes and soon she was sobbing infront of her Lord..
She was so stressed about her mother, its been three days now and she hasn't waken up yet and the doctor's aren't telling her about her actual condition.
She was worried sick.
Her eyes fixed on her mother's unconscious form. She pondered, when her mother will wake up?
Will Allah listen her?
'Yes' her subconscious answered
She now has a firm resolute on her God, she has prayed for her mother's health and she knew He will listen, listen to her prayers.
After completing her prayer, she stood up, folding the matt before placing it back when her eyes moved towards her mother and the very next they widened with surprise.
She couldn't believe it.
Her prayers were answered!
"Mama" she whispered.
"Did Shoaib harass you?" her mother asked.