ZACK’S POV
Mike's sudden outburst made me realize a lot of things. From the first day of our meeting in the woods till the time we spent in the lighthouse flashed in front of my eyes. Not only that, but all those overwhelming feeling that I used to feel with her around me, something which I used to brush off easily wasn’t a casual emotion of mine. It was something that my heart wanted me to accept but due to the circumstance, my brain used to shove it off!!! How stupid of me to not understand what my heart was trying to tell me!!!
I couldn’t take it altogether like that and my legs trembled with tiredness. It simply lost its balance and luckily Mike held me before I fell. He immediately made me sit down on the ground and that helped me lot more to have a self-introspection of whatever that happened!!!!
Yes. Mike was right. Every time I felt to give up, it was Zoe who stood up for me. She had indeed been with me in all the worst times I had in the town. She never left me alone even when Caroline was playing with my life. What I wanted a great amount of emotional support, it was Zoe who consoled me while she kept her love a secret from him. She endured all the pains alone and never for once shared a single pain with me. Why did she not tell me anything? I shared my whole story with her yet why did she not trust me with hers? Why didn’t she give me a chance to prove my friendship even when I hadn’t realized my true love for her??? And whom should have all these blames been put on? OfCourse me and me alone because I was the one who let myself become a pawn of Caroline’s manipulations!!!!
I was feeling terribly for not being there for my Zoe and letting her see a day to live through this stage of her life once again. All these were the maximum devastation that my heart could take and I miserably broke down there itself. And as usual, I failed to control my feelings and anger!!!
“Hey, don’t feel guilty. Even without you realizing it you had already given Zoe everything she wanted. So don’t lose” abruptly, Mike held my shoulders and consoled me. Did I actually deserve his care???
Mike was strong enough to console be along with handling himself while I just whined like a lost child. When I wished to end thing, never for once I imagined it to lead to a state that someone else was struggling to stay alive because of me. My own conscience and guilt slowly drowned me and suddenly, Mike then noticed the bruise in my hands and grew worried for it. Well, that was a great distraction I could use for the time being!!!!
He dragged me inside the hospital and asked the nurse to dress up my wound. I robotically did as he made me to do by sitting there still as the nurse aided my wounds. He also bought him some water and even though I didn’t want anything, I did take it from him. When a drop of water hit my tongue, a sudden urge of thirst blew up inside me and in no time, I gulped down the whole bottle to his astonishment. Buddy, I myself had no idea what was happening to me so don’t be so surprised!!!!!
After gulping down the whole bottle, my whole heart and mind was filled with thoughts of Zoe. I just couldn’t care about anything else. didn’t care. I laid back on the seat covering my eyes with my hands to get a moment of peace which was very much needed to get my mind back to functional mode. Yet, heart didn’t let me do it because, I felt a deep pain in my heart.
More than a pain, it was a kind of ache that was a result of my guilt. My heart was urging me to accept something and when I finally let it win, it made me realize that I too wanted her. I wanted her back. It was not because of any gratitude towards her, but because my heart was yearning for it. And how would it????
She had saved me from the verge of death. She had indeed given me the chance that she never had. She had the courage to sacrifice herself for her love. And all that she did was for her unprofessed love for me which I never ever understood even when my heart always kept hinting it to me!!!!
Why did she love me so much??? Why did she do it all for me??? What had I given her that she never thought twice before acting so brave and dauntless by putting her own life at risk?? Above all, what divine karma had I done to deserve such a pure love from a pure hearted girl like her???
My devastation was getting so creepier that once again the thoughts of ending everything for once and for all began to play on my mind. But this time, I held myself together only for Zoe. All of a sudden, I didn’t at all want anything more in my life. I just wanted her back. I wanted my Zoe back, safe and sound!!!
With all these thoughts juggling in my head, Mike came back to me from the doctor’s cabin to inform me about Zoe’s condition. His arrival gave me very serious vibe that my heart raced beyond imagination.
“Her DVT had grown into what we had always feared, pulmonary embolism. She was very critical and there is no more hope left. It is miracle that she didn’t have an instant death however, the doctors have suggested an immediate surgery to get her back to life. If it doesn’t happen soon, they said that we might lose her” Mike informed me in a shattered tone and that was it, my heart stopped and I felt like sinking into oblivion....
This was not the end because there was more to it. I was somehow able to notice a distraught expression on Mike’s face which was more intense than what he already had. There was a bigger reason behind it and when I asked him about it, he revealed that how his family had spent almost all of their savings for her treatments till now. Even her medical insurance was almost full.
“All Zoe has left is a maximum of 24 to 48 hours, if in ventilator” Mike somehow muttered it to I.
Both of us were feeling the exact same messed up feeling together after he told me that. Only then I understood that maybe this was the news that the doctor had shared to her parents that ended them up in such a terrible state.
But whatever fate was going to make me walk through, I was not ready to give up on Zoe that easily. Now that I knew what the biggest problem and hurdle in her case was, all I needed to do was to find the best solution to get her back. I desperately wanted to give her back the chance she had given me and, It was time for me to help her back and prove my love for her!!!!
Acting upon the situation, I went to see the doctor to talk about Zoe’s condition. The doctor repeated to me what had to be done to save her or else what would happen. To do what he asked, the most important thing needed was money and I asked then the amount required for the surgery. Indeed, it was a huge amount for people like us.
I had done all that in the heat of the moment but after getting complete information, I had no plan in my mind. The only thing I had in my mind was wanting her back. That thought have me strength and hope with which, I went to Zoe’s dad.
“Sir, if you don’t mind, will you do as I say?” I asked him in a formal tone.
“What is it?” his distressed voice asked me back.
“Give the consent for her surgery and trust me in this process” with only hope in my words, I told him what to do.
“I’m ready to even beg in the streets to raise money for her son. But our fate won’t let us do that too because I had promised her, I won’t do that to keep her alive. If she gets to know it, she’ll only wish to die that living the rest of her life” he broke into his cried as he told me the consequences of his actions.
I was able to understand his situation and what he was going through. Hence, I kneeled down to him and promised him that I’ll will be back with money no matter what and asked him to get the formalities done for the surgery.
He was more than pleasured to hear my words and hugged me tight. I didn’t have any time to waste so before leaving the hospital, I went to see Zoe in the ICU. There, I was shattered to hell seeing her innocent face covered with the oxygen mask. Her legs were aided and hung on the stench. In the gist of time, my one mistake had completely turned down the life of the girl who loved me and the worst part was that I had never given her a chance to propose her love. Without a second thought of herself, she had dared to sacrifice herself for me. Had I ever deserved such a pure and selfless love?
Life had never been such a disaster for me than the moments I had been living through the past months. For everyone in the town and high school, I was the cold-hearted newcomer prince charm and their biggest competitor. But for her, I was the most special being. I had no Idea why I was so special to her. But I did know that the way she understood every single pain of mine was not even understood by my mother. Now that she was Inside the ICU because of me, I had no other reason to stay alive.
Time had flown by so fast and it was already midnight and the hospital was in pin-drop silence except for the beeping of the machines and doors sliding open and shut. There was no one other than us in the corridor. Mr. Harry was sitting on the seat blank and stupefied thinking about what the doctor had told us even after I had assured him and Mrs.Karen had wrapped her hand around her husband, crying profoundly.
My heart was aching witnessing their state and wished to sit next to and console them till they felt some better. Though I had the courage to assure them of saving her, my body and mind didn’t let me go to them to console them because I did not have a bit of courage to even look into their eyes. I didn't even dare to because I was the sole reason why they were on the verge of losing their everything. Not being able to control the guilty anymore I walked away from them and saw Mike who was busy impatiently calling some people and was constantly checking his phone. Well, he was the only person I could talk to for the time being so I went to him and held his shoulders.
“Any hope?” I asked him in a low tone.
He nodded a ‘no' and his facial expression clearly showed his hopelessness.
Chills of being terrified swept throughout my body and my legs became numb. Did it mean we had no way to save her? No, no, nooo…there’s no way that’s going to happen. She hasn’t got a chance to live her fantasy where her prince charm will come to claim her. She hadn’t got to experience her one-sided love being a two sided one. She hasn’t even seen my love. There was no way I was going to give up on her before fulfilling each of her crazy, stupid fantasies. It was time for me to be there for her and show her my worthiness, to own her as mine.
“What are you planning to do”? Mike was puzzled my reaction and saw a light of determination in me.
I had no answer for him. Looking at his face all I noticed was that it had swollen up due to the crying and stress he had in the situation. Gosh, what all have I caused unknowingly???