"Can't you just shut up and let me go?!"
Ramdam kong namumula na ako dahil sa inis mula sa ginagawa niya. Hindi ko naman kailangan pagselosan ang babaeng yun katulad ng sinasabi niya.
"Okay fine. I'm seriously going outside and find the girl."
Matapos niyon ay mabilis siyang tumalikod at dumaretso sa pinto. He looked like sad because of what I said. May be he really think I am not concern or something.
"Just call me if you two go outside too."
Hindi na niya ako pinatapos magsalita at isinarado na agad ang pinto.
Seriously?!
I couldn't help to think what will happened if he really saw that woman. Gusto ko na siyang sundan sa labas at pigilan pero alam kong magtatanong siya kung bakit ko siya pinipigilan.
"Where's Kuya?"
Ilang minuto pa lang ang lumipas ng lumabas si Calvin sa kwarto at si Rogen na agad ang hinahanap niya.
"I thought you two will going to talk?"
Inosente pang tanong niya bago umupo sa tabi ko.
"What about you ate? You look worried. Is there something that happened?"
Hindi ako kumibo kaya hindi na rin siya nagsalita pa. Kahit na manood siya ng tv ay di pa rin ako mapakali. This time I tried to call him.
"Let me guess ate, magkagalit pa rin kayo sa isa't isa?"
Pangatlong tawag na ngunit cannot be reach ang laging nangyayare. That's why I decided to stand and look to Calvin.
"I'm going to find him. Just stay here and don't you open the door if someone doorbell. Saglit lang ako, okay? Don't go outside."
Matagal ko pa siyang tinitigan bago nahpasyang lumabas upang tawagin siya. Saglit lang humupa ang galabog ng dibdib ko kanina at ngayon ay bumabalik na naman.
I should just have told him that I am concerned. Alam ko sa sarili ko na natakot ako ng muntikan na siyang masaksak pero ang pagseselos ay wala sa sistema ko dahil okyupado ako sa pagkakakilanlan ng babaeng nagligtas sa kaniya. I am hoping he won't see that woman.
I tried to find him on a beach where we saw the incident earlier but, she wasn't there. I even tried to look in a gazebo area but, he wasn't there also.
I am starting to feel tense because I couldn't find him!
Even we're here a few days ago, we could still know where to find each other not like this.
I calmed myself and sat on a swim in a playground around the back of the hotel. He's making me upset.
I'm sure to hit him if I find out where he is.
Ilang segundo pa akong tumigil sa swing bago muling naglakad patungo sa seaside.
"Where are you going?"
Napatigil ako sa paglalakad ng biglang sumulpot ang babaeng ito. I don't actually know her name.
"I don't want to approach you again because I know you got upset earlier but, I think I should help you now? You look anxious."
Hindi ko talaga maintindihan ang utak ng babeng ito. Noong una pa lamang ay iginapos niya ako sa loob ng isang lumang building tapos ngayon ay bigla siyang susulpot at ililigtas si Rogen. And here we go again dealing with her right now.
"If you're doing this because you want me to deal with you. Stop hoping. I find my ways. And please stop coming around. I am still friendly to you today. I am still not getting over you seeing my brother. Stay away, that's a warning."
I seriously said before I go. If she wants to play, I am not doing it anymore. This time, everything is enough. After we go back to Manila, I am going to find ways to stop that VIP from looking a more the highest position. I should have done this before but I could because I am still learning things about him.
"When you go back to Manila, and you need me. I will send you the details of where I am so, you can contact me early. I am not befriending you but to put him down isn't easy as you thought. Goodbye and see you soon!"
I never stopped walking until I reached the last part of the hotel. It was a small bar. I should find him on the other side but I have no more energy to do that. I thought this is a good vacation for us and, I should leave my thoughts in Manila. It just happened that woman suddenly showed up.
If he wants me to find him, his phone still is open. But maybe he felt sad because he notice that I am not jealous. He doesn't even know, tomorrow is his day. It is her birthday and this is the first time I would be here with him.
I ordered a glass of alcoholic drink while listening to music. My thoughts were lost. I don't know what I should do after this. Everything isn't easy. I could just have chosen him and us rather than that criminal but the idea of doing that is far away than choosing to end this fight.
Namalayan ko na lamang na nakakarami na ako ng makaramdam ako ng pagkahilo.
I ordered tequila for heaven's sake!
I stop drinking and paid before leaving. It was hilarious that I can still on a normal state of mind right now. I hate him!
"Where did you go?!"
Madilim na ng makalabas ako. Hindi pa man ako nakakapasok sa loob ng hotel ay sinalubong na agad ako ni Roge na animo'y kanina pa naghahanap sa akin. It's his fault for leaving and not answering his phone!
Mapungay na mga mata at malungkot na tinitigan ko siya.
"How about you? Where did you go?"
I am always lack of someone's love not until this man came and filled it all. I tried to find another man after him before but, we still ended up together.
Alam ko sa sarili kong tinamaan ako ng kaunti sa alak na ininom ko. I never be a fan of an alcohol. It's rear not to taste bitterness after drinking them.
"Are you drunk?!"
Hindi ko naiwasang tumingin sa malayo habang nag iisip ng isasagot sa kaniya. Nalulunod ako sa mga alalahanin at hindi sa alak na ininom ko.
"Let's go back."
Walang pasabing hinila niya ako papalapit sa kaniya at inalalayan akong maglakad.
Fucking alcohol. This is not good because I am always noisy whenever I get drunk.
"Ano bang iniisip mo at uminom ka?! You should told me. Paano kung nay nangyare sayo?!"
"I can't reach you," seryosong sabi ko habang patuloy kami sa paglalakad.
"This is the last I am going to be with you but, yet you choose to find that woman than to be with me."
That's it. I am jealous. I am not perfect but seeing how he got amazed by that woman, I felt anxious.
"I can walk."
I grab my hand back bago naun ng maglakad patungo sa hotel room. I even saw Calvin eating while watxhing tv.
"Hey, ate! Where did you go? Kuya's finding you."
I ignored him until I reached the door's room and washed up a little before I lied down on the bed.
I heard a knock but I didn't respond and close my eyes. I don't want to talk to him even if we need to talk about everything while we were still here.
The door opens and, I even heard footsteps until the side of my bed moved like someone lying down next to me.
"You are still awake. Let's talk."
"I am not going to talk while I am drunk. Let me sleep now."
I calmly said while my eyes, still closed.
"You should have eaten before sleeping."
I didn't respond and slept without talking again. I don't want to tell him that I killed people before. I am not ready to say goodbyes to him just because of the things that the woman said. I'm going to trust him until my time ends.
And with that everything got black and I slept while thinking everything.