Chapter Thirteen
My nerves had calmed and I had somehow gathered my wits when Mike returned from buying our snacks. I saw him. He gave me a wink and then smiled as he made his way over me. He walked between the seats to come where I sat. Most people had taken their seats and now we're waiting for the lights to shut so the movie could start.
Walking amongst the seats seemed a little difficult for him. However, he did not show that he was having any problem walking between the people. Instead, he lifted his hands higher in the air and moved gracefully amongst the crowd and their feet, avoiding any tripping or falling. Finally, when he reached a seat near me, he gave me a big smile before he took a step toward me.
Bending down, he placed all the drinks and snacks on the arm rest, I helped them place it beside me and then I jerked my head to sit beside me. Silently telling him to take a seat. Still smiling, he bent down and slid into his seat but as he did, he brushed a soft kiss on my cheek, and all the lights went off as the movie started.
I was so shocked at what happened that I didn't even react when he sat down beside me and looked at me with a self satisfied grin. He picked up popcorn and ate a mouthful of it. Grinning, he extended it to me but I was still so shocked that I kept staring at him with a shocked expression. He saw my expression and let out a chuckle. In a flash, he grabbed my jaw and Kissed me. On the lips.
This time I did react. I gasped back, pressing more into my seat. I was not expecting him to do that. Oh no. Not expecting him. He just - he just - Did he just kiss me on the lips? My heart did a stutter and in an involuntary reaction, I slapped his arm. Instead of showing shame or anything, he let out a stomach laugh.
"Shuu ..." I heard someone hush us from behind us. I glanced behind me to find a girl frowning in our way. And that's when I realised that not only had he kissed me on the lips but he had also kissed me in a movie theatre with people all around. I wanted to die out of shame. Just wanted to dig a hole right where I was and crawl inside it.
My face was aflame with shame and shyness. God, this was so embarrassing. So, damn embarrassing. He kissed me in front of all these people and didn't even feel guilty. On the other side, here I was dying inside even though I knew that hardly any other person gave a damn about that kiss. I covered my face with my hand and tried to pretend that nothing happened here. Maybe, it will actually make a difference.
If we weren't in a public place, I would have said something to Mike. Something. I don't know what, but something. Perhaps, I would have told him off or just asked him to never repeat it again and that it was inappropriate. But, here with so many people surrounding us, I did not do anything. Instead, I tried to focus on calming my racing heart at once. Which was going out of control by the second.
Gosh, this was embarrassing. Even though I tried to deny it, deep inside me, I knew that I liked it. His kiss. The feeling of his warm lips on my lips. The way he just casually grabbed me and kissed me, not giving me time to think. Because if he had then this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have let him. There was no way. I would have told him no, even though I had a doubt in my heart. Even though my heart would have been screaming at me to just give it a try. Just wanting to know how it would feel. I would have suppressed all those feelings in a second because that's what I have been taught myself. That was what I was doing my whole life. It was easier this way. It was easier than facing the guilt of doing something that I wasn't allowed to. I would feel the fear of doing something forbidden. Of somehow, having my parents having to find out. But now, the guilt, the pressure, was taken off of me by Mike.
He did not give me time to think about my actions. He did not ask me, he just did it. And now, somehow, I felt like it was not my fault. Because, I had not been the one to take action. I had not been the one to make the decision. He had taken the burden of it all. If somebody asks me now, why I let him kiss me or did I give my permission, then I would simply tell them that he did not give me a chance to make a decision. That He kissed Me. Without ever asking me.
And that, putting the blame on him even though this kiss was something that I wanted to experience a million times, made me feel freer than ever. Not owning up to my actions and having an escape by putting the blame on him, made me feel freer. I knew how messed up it was, but for just a little while I wanted it to remain messed up. So, I could feel these moments without guilt. Without a burden.
A small bucket of popcorn appeared at the corner of my sight, and I glanced up to find Mike's head bent over to my side. "Sorry." He whispered in my ear, although he did not sound sorry at all. "But, I found your lips too irresistible to resist." He told me and handed me his popcorn. Silently, I took the popcorn out of his hand and ate some of it. Trying to ignore the flutter, his words had made me feel.
I didn't even realise that not only had the movie started but more than twenty minutes of the movie had already been done.
Forcing myself to avoid any more awkwardness or feeling the shame of just being kissed without my permission and not feeling guilty about it, I re - adjusted in my seat and tried to focus on the screen before me. I popped a bunch of mouthful popcorn and then took a sip from my soda before chewing and gulping down all of it.
And in more than a few minutes, I was totally immersed in the story. Every once in a while I felt someone's eyes were on me. Whenever I turned to my side, I saw that Mike was looking in front of me. Finally, when once again, it happened and I took a chance to glance at my side, I caught Mike watching me.
As soon as our eyes met, he looked away, taking a long sip of soda from his can. I turned to face the screen too, trying to focus on the screen but the thought that he was staring at me, kept bugging me. I did not know what he was thinking. Didn't know the reason for his staring. Why was he staring at me like that? Was something wrong on my face?
My mind went into overdrive. Still, I try to avoid myself from overthinking. Tried to rationalise to myself that it was nothing. Forced myself to focus on the movie and not think about it, when I saw from the corner of my eyes that his face was turned to my side.
Without turning my head, I glanced to my side using only my eyes and found out that my intuition was right and he was staring at me again. And this time, I could not stop myself from asking. My mind wasn't into the movie anyway.
Slightly bending to my side, I whispered to him. "Why do you keep staring at me?" I asked him, my eyes still glued to the screen. I did not see but I felt him mirror my posture before he whispered back to me. "Do you trust me?" He asked me, out of nowhere.
HIs question took me by surprise and turned my face to meet his eyes. He was already staring at me. With a still surprised expression, I questioned him. "What?"
"Do you trust me?" He repeated what he had asked me earlier. I was still so shocked and surprised that I did not answer him right away. With my mouth half open and my eyes still wide, I tried to understand what he was asking me. He closed my mouth with a finger under my chin and glided his finger over my cheek. "Do you trust me or not, Viri?" He asked, his voice smooth like butter and his eyes kind.
I tried to think if I trusted him or not. When nothing came to my mind, I asked the first question that came to my mind. "For what?"
"I'll show you."