Julian gripped Alaric’s hand tighter, the warmth of his skin pulling him completely into the present.
His own heart was racing fast against his ribs. He looked down at their interlaced fingers, his mind spinning as he tried to figure out how to put eons of tragedy into simple words.
How could he tell his lover that they had found each other across different lifetimes, loved deeply, and then watched it all end in blood and tears? How could he explain that this current life was their very last chance simply because Lucius was finally here with them?
It was difficult. And he did not want to keep it to himself. He felt like his heart was going to burst just knowing these facts. He wanted Alaric to know.
Alaric noticed his slight trembling. He reached up with his other hand, his thumb gently catching a stray tear on Julian’s cheek.
"It’s okay," Alaric said, his deep voice incredibly quiet in the dim room. "I’m right here."
Julian leaned into his palm, closing his eyes as he soaked in the warmth of the man he loved. The gesture grounded him. The heavy, unyielding panic that usually brought on his violent headaches was completely gone, replaced by a smooth flow of pure power.
When he opened his eyes again, both of his pupils were a clear, vibrant blue, entirely wiped clean of Norx’s purple taint.
"I know everything now, Lucien," Julian whispered.
Alaric stayed still, watching Julian’s eyes and just sat on the edge of the bed and listened.
"I met the god of light, again," Julian began, his voice small and slightly trembling. "And I found out a lot of things. It’s... a lot."
"You can take your time," Alaric said and Julian nodded, pursing his lips.
"Lucien, this... isn’t our first time falling in love." He began, his heart racing, as if it would escape his chest any moment. "And us meeting in the North, and falling in love, none of that was a coincidence either. It was all planned out. Just as..." his gaze dropped down slightly, "it had been for a couple hundred more of our lives across a thousand years," he whispered.
Alaric did not react right away. He watched how Julian’s eyes slightly tilted down, and how he pursed his lips. This must be hard for him to say. So, before Alaric judged, he wanted to listen to everything.
"Tell me from the top," he said. He could never call his lover a liar. Hell, he had no single doubt about him to begin with. "How did all of it start? And... how did we come to get into such an orchestrated circle?"
Julian lifted his gaze, his eyes shaking and glossy as he looked into Alaric’s firm gaze. This man would believe him no matter what he said, and that was why he could not help but break it all down in front of him.
He nodded his head and began. Julian told him everything.
He started with the fact that was the beginning of it all. The god of light, Alias had been the architect of the world, keeping its structures balanced, and Norx, the now fallen god, was the creation god who made humans out of clay.
They were like that for a long time until Norx told Alias to go down and see the world for itself before he judged the structure.
And when Alias went down, he fell for a mortal, even altering the desert’s ecology just for his boy and his sister.
He came back, over the man, embraced the man, even accepted the man’s flaw and lies, and this got Norx upset.
"Norx was in love with Alias, you see," Julian muttered. "And he was jealous of the mortal so he sent different things to dry and broke them apart until his schemes could no longer work and he took the souls of the mortal, his sister and his son captive."
Julian explained that the Holy Empire was built to pray to the God of Light, which is Alias, to honor him because he helped their lands and gave them the power to fight against the demons Norx had summoned.
He shifted his weight slightly, his fingers trembling where they were locked with Alaric’s. He looked at their hands, then forced himself to meet those steady blue eyes again.
The words felt heavy in his throat, but the truth had to be laid bare.
"He saved the world," Julian whispered, a sudden, bitter edge cutting through his small voice. "But he couldn’t save his lover and his family. Norx had them trapped in a pocket void. And when Alias stripped away Norx’s authority to stop his tyranny, the void collapsed. It started suffocating them."
Alaric didn’t move a muscle, his chest rising and falling in a slow, tense rhythm, his focus entirely locked on Julian’s face.
"Alias had to make a choice," Julian continued, his glossy eyes shaking. "To save their souls from being trapped and tortured by Norx in the abyss forever, he had to take them out of the story himself. He kissed his lover one last time, told him he was keeping him safe, and extracted their souls."
A single golden tear gathered at the corner of Julian’s eye, catching the faint lamplight. As the memory of that raw, visceral grief surged through him, it was as if Alias possessed his body for a brief second.
"But Norx lunged in a frenzy," Julian choked out, the golden tear finally spilling over his cheek. "He swiped his hand and caught Maya’s soul. He shattered it right in front of Alias’s eyes. Snuffed it out completely from existence. I... He couldn’t save her, Lucien. Please... forgive me."
Alaric got confused at that moment. He did not know why Julian had asked him to forgive him.
But as he watched the seemingly golden tear rolled down from Julian’s eyes, a sudden realization hit him. Why does Julian know all of this? Why is it difficult for him to explain clearly? Why is he emotional?
And... Why were they the ones cursed when the fallen god had actually loved the god of light?
The answer clicked. It clicked so hard that he took a moment to close his eyes, and then open them, waiting for Julian to say the words with his own mouth. But no matter what, whether a god or a devil, whoever Julian was, it would not change the fact that he was the man he fell in love with.
The man who had brought him back into the light, warmth into his cold heart, and opened his eyes to actually look at his child.
Alias leaned forward, his hand moving to the back of Julian’s neck as he kissed the golden tear away from his cheek, then pressed his lips firmly against Julian’s eyes before catching his lips.