What in the world was going on. A flowerpot grazed past my head. The flowerpot that hit the wall shattered into pieces, making a sound like a bomb exploding. Eve, her face bright red, was panting with rage, and Sieri beside her was looking back and forth between me and Eve with a dazed expression. I broke into a cold sweat, slightly terrified by the fact that my head had almost just burst open.
"What's wrong, Eve?"
"You, you, you, fuck, why did you send that dildo! To fuck with me? Huh?"
"Ah, that. Didn't the letter arrive? I sent a letter saying I was sending a gift, and to check it inside since it was a bit risqué."
"A letter?"
Eve frowned. It seemed it hadn't arrived. Those bastards at the Territory Post Office. I'd pestered them to send it quickly since it was an urgent letter, and they didn't send it? Are they crazy bastards? I asked.
"So what happened because of that gift?"
"Well... I thought it was sent by some suspicious guy, so... I told them to open it at the main gate?"
"......Fuck."
I clutched my head and sank into my seat. It was because I could roughly imagine the scene. Soya must have been explaining the dildo's performance in front of a Twerking Dance Machine while Eve screamed. Eve also had her head buried on the desk. Sieri awkwardly approached and patted my back.
"I-It'll be okay. It was handled somehow, right?"
It was not handled. As I was coming in, the territory residents were looking at me with very unpleasant gazes. It must have been the final nail in the coffin of my already fucking ruined image. I massaged my weak legs and fell into thought.
"So, what did you do with the dildo?"
"I gave it to Mom. She liked it. But she said it was too big to use."
Cellu didn't have a large build. I looked out the office window. Cellu was still swimming and playing in the swimming pool. At the corner of the pool, that dildo was rolling around. Is it okay for something like that to be rolling around in the yard of the High Priest's Mansion? I fell into such thoughts before shaking my head. Elsi was also exercising on the athletic field, but Soya was nowhere to be seen.
Don't tell me she killed her just for bringing the dildo? I asked about Soya's whereabouts.
"What about Soya?"
"What's that?"
"The mage who came here."
"Ah, she's in the reception room on the first floor."
"She's alive, right?"
"Yeah. I was thinking of killing her. But she seemed like a kid the groom brought, so I kept her alive for now."
"Good job."
"W-What?"
When I hugged her tightly, Eve made a flustered expression and awkwardly hugged me back. I patted Eve's back and looked at Sieri. Sieri was also fidgeting with her fingers, wishing for something, so I gave her a hug too.
Then I went back down to the first floor. When I opened the door to the reception room on the first floor, Soya was drinking tea with a languid expression. She had been sprawled out, leaning back in her chair, but upon seeing me, she was startled and shot up, shouting.
"H-High Priest! Welcome! You came back early."
"Yes. Sonia Yaivan. It's been a while. My work in the region took longer, so I'm late. Was everything all right?"
"Yes, yes! Everything was fine!"
Soya was answering me with a posture as sharp as the recruit I had seen at the outpost earlier. I had Soya sit down again and decided to discuss future matters. The dildo problem was already in the past.
"Sonia Yaivan. First of all, as you said, since you are not a Magic Tower Mage, it's a bit difficult to formally hire you as a Territory Mage. You've also been expelled from the Mercenary Guild, so I can't even use you as a mercenary."
It felt wrong to make her work for free, too. That would also strictly be a Territory Mage. Soya herself might be okay with it, but if rumors of this spread, it was bound to cause quarrels from the surroundings. To be prepared for the what-ifs, it was better not to create any elements that could cause noise.
"The best way would be for you to commit some crime in this territory, and the best excuse would be that you are working for free to atone for that crime...."
"A c-crime? A-Am I going to become a slave?"
Soya was startled and pulled her body back. I shook my head. A High Priest cannot have slaves. But it was possible to work a prisoner who had received a hard labor sentence. My plan was to pin a random crime on Soya, give her a hard labor sentence, and then use her as a Territory Mage. Originally, when a mage commits a crime, the Magic Tower intervenes to settle the case. But Soya is not affiliated with the Magic Tower.
Therefore, if Soya committed a crime, I could pass the verdict as I fucking pleased, and even if I sentenced her to hard labor to work her to the bone, the Magic Tower would have no justification to interfere. There was no law stating that a mage couldn't serve through magic when they've committed a crime. The moment the Magic Tower tried to infringe on the Lord's Authority, the case would get complicated.
"No. For now, your pay will be provided monthly in the form of a gratuity. I'll give you a house, too. You'll just be a prisoner only in name. If you happen to like the dungeon, I can let you stay there."
"No! I think I'd still prefer the ground!"
At my kind proposal, Soya frantically shook her head. The more I saw her, the more I realized Soya was timid and had big reactions, making her fun to tease. I confirmed with Soya again.
"Then you've given your consent, right?"
"Yes! I, I think I'm okay with it....."
Soya nodded but slightly shrunk back. She must be afraid, not knowing what I would make her do. But right now, Soya had no one to rely on but this mansion. Based on the original work, Soya's family had all died, and she had become a self-made success by studying magic alone, then entered the Magic Tower. After that, she'd lived in the Magic Tower until she was framed, becoming a wandering mage.
With no family or Mercenary Guild to rely on, she wouldn't want to miss this opportunity if things weren't too bad. I went back up to the office and summoned the girls. Aira, Elsi, Cellu, Eve, and Sieri gathered in one place. At first, they were very awkward when they gathered like this, but these days, they seemed to have gotten closer, engaging in chatter amongst themselves or teaming up to tease me.
To quiet them down as they started their miscellaneous talk as soon as we met, I cleared my throat to draw their attention. The women's gazes gathered on me again. I briefly explained about Soya and then told them the purpose of our meeting.
The purpose was simple. For Soya to stay and work at this mansion, prisoner status was the cleanest and would save money, but to do that, we needed to frame Soya with a suitable charge. Anyone have any ideas?
Cellu asked.
"Did that mage, Soya, agree to this?"
"That's right. Roughly."
"Does it matter what kind of crime?"
"It can't be a charge with too much damage or something ridiculous."
It seemed Cellu had an idea. Actually, rather than an idea, it seemed there was something she really wanted to do now that a mage had come. I couldn't ignore Cellu's sparkling eyes.
".....What do you want to do?"
"Can I talk to her? There's something I really want to try, and I think this would be enough to justify putting her to hard labor?"
"You know there can't be any property damage, right?"
"Heh... don't worry, there's none of that."
Cellu shook her head. But that smile was suspicious as hell. I think she had the same crazy eyes when I first met her on the ship, and seeing them after a long time sent a chill down my spine for no reason. Cellu said she would go talk to Soya for a moment and went down to the first floor.
The way she went downstairs, flopping about, was like a halibut escaping from a live fish restaurant, and I had to hold back my laughter.
The next day after that meeting ended. I was able to meet Cellu at the swimming pool again. She was wearing a very satisfied smile. I dipped my feet in the swimming pool and asked.
"How did it go?"
"Heh... she agreed to do everything."
"What is it? Can't you tell me?"
"Nope. I kept it a secret from Eve, too. You'll be surprised when you see it."
".....It's not something weird, is it?"
"Heh... it is."
The twerking still hadn't disappeared from my head. Even in my dream last night, I dreamed of a man in bright blue tights approaching me while shaking his hips. The sight I saw then would surely play infinitely even if I fell to hell.
But she said it was as weird as that, so I couldn't imagine what would come out.
"Fuck."
"Isn't it already over the moment you started fucking a mermaid? You should just accept it now. Right?"
"Well, I guess you're right."
Since she'd confirmed there would be no property damage, I didn't ask further. Just how much more could my image be ruined? I was a High Priest who fucked his wife with a Moving Bio Dildo + a Mermaid-lover; there was really no lower I could fall sexually.
For it to get any worse now, there was nothing left but for me to go somewhere and commit kidnapping of territory residents and rape. Thinking that, I felt my mind become at ease. Right. No matter what Cellu does, she can't lower my image any further. I'll let her do whatever foolish act she wants to her heart's content. Perhaps reading my expression, Cellu said.
"She said it'll take about three days. I hope you'll look forward to it. Heh....."
But the more Cellu smiled like that, the more I couldn't hide my rising anxiety. What is it? Is something beyond my imagination about to appear?
The next day. Cellu charged me for the employment cost of a live band. It wasn't much since it was just for one day, so I approved it on the spot. But the fact that she was even calling a band made me even more anxious. What is it? What kind of fucking awful thing is she preparing?
After spending several days trembling with anxiety, Eve called for me, saying everything was ready. But the expression on Eve's face as she called for me was not good. I felt another wave of anxiety at that expression. What is it? Did she make a Giant Dildo Rocket or something? I'd rather it be something like that. That would be idiotic, but at least it would end there.
I composed myself and went outside. And I couldn't help but immediately frown and look around my surroundings. The area around the swimming pool was littered with dildos. In the middle of the pool, Eve was swimming, and dildos were scattered everywhere from the pool to the athletic field.
"What is all this?"
"Heh... you'll know when you see it... I really wanted to try this."
In the distance, the live band was preparing their musical instruments. Next to them, Soya was standing with her hands up, her face flushed bright red. Elsi was also watching with an interested expression, and the Knight Order members had gathered next to me. Robin asked.
"My Lord. What is all this....."
"I don't know either. Cellu said there was something she really wanted to try now that a mage had visited, but I have no idea."
I really had no idea. What in the world is she trying to do? Is this art? Is it an installation art piece warning of the corruption of modern people's disordered sexual desire through the dildos scattered on the floor? Leaving my question behind, Cellu spoke to Soya.
"Music!"
With those words, Soya gave the band an eye signal, and the band began to play in a bizarre performance hall they had never seen before.
Dung, dung, dung, dung, dung
Doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit
Bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bba-bam
Lively music that one might hear at a club started to play, and Cellu dived into the water, then jumped high and said to Soya.
"Begin!"
With those words, Soya's whole body trembled. She looked back and forth between me and Cellu with a face full of anxiety, then squeezed her eyes shut and shouted.
"H-Hey! I-I don't know!!"
Simultaneously with that shout, a blue aura erupted from Soya's hands. The dildos scattered all around began to float, and the blue aura seeped into them, forming blue shapes.
"F-Fuck!"
I screamed, my whole body trembling as the nightmare from a few days ago revived. The band members, in the midst of it all, were playing very calmly. They were true pros among pros.
Dung, dung, dung, dung, dung
Doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit
Bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bba-bam
"W-What is this!"
Robin, his face flushed, was looking at the blue naked men wandering all around. I could tell what Cellu was trying to do. Soya's face was already flushed to its limit. She shouted at Eve.
"I-I can't do it! D-Do I really, really have to?"
"Hurry up and do it!"
Dung, dung, dung, dung, dung
Doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit
Bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bba-bam
Cellu was urging her on while swimming in the water. The surroundings were full of the blue ones, with dildos dangling from them. What a horrifying sight. Soya squeezed her eyes shut and waved her hand wide once more.
At the same time, the naked blue ones that had been wandering about disorderly all stopped at once. Then, they grabbed the dildos hanging from their crotch areas, made them stand firm, and...
"Ugh, fuck! My eyes!"
They began to twerk collectively. Both Eve and Robin were staring at the sight with dazed expressions. Everywhere I looked was filled with blue forms fucking the empty air. Robin, his face bright red, glared at these dildos before grabbing the back of his neck and collapsing. Eve shook her head and muttered.
"And I'm the daughter of a creature like that?"
The live band members were pros among pros. Even while watching this bizarre sight, they continued to play calmly.
Dung, dung, dung, dung, dung
Doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit
Bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bba-bam
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! That mermaid made me do it! Please spare my life!"
"My dream came true!"
Soya was on her knees on the ground, begging me. Cellu was laughing joyfully while swimming in the pool. The sight of dozens of bio dildos twerking in the air around the swimming pool. It was a truly astral, fucking awful, and dirty sight. What is this? What in the world am I looking at? Did I do so many bad deeds that I've come to hell?
This was truly hell. It was a demonic landscape one could only see at the bottom of hell. If even Evangeline had seen this, she would have become a mermaid hater and started by slaughtering the mermaids. I wanted to erase the situation I was seeing right now from my memory.
In the middle of the intense Twerking Dance Party scene, Cellu was observing the situation with a satisfied expression. I pushed aside the dangling dildos all around me, ran to Cellu, and shouted.
Dung, dung, dung, dung, dung
Doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit, doom-chit
Bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bam- bba-bba-bam
"Fucking hell! Cellu! What is this!"
"Heh... it was my dream to gather humans like this and make them do some foolish act."
"What the... fuck...!"
"Its name is Juji Yukrim!"
"I get it, so stop!"
My shouting and Cellu's laughter filled the swimming pool.