Chapter Ciara

Ciara

Before I know it, I’m sitting in a diner with Alfred playing happily in a highchair— and my college crush, Luis, smiling at me from across the table. What a strange day this is turning out to be.

After he ran, quite literally, into me, we agreed to go grab a bite to eat and catch up. As we walked through the park towards Louis's favorite diner, we definitely got some approving smiles from old ladies with blue hair. I think they all thought we were a young married couple, out for a walk with our baby. The awkwardness continued when we got to the restaurant. The smiling hostess cooed at Alfred, then said ‘What a cute couple!’ to me and Luis as she led us to a table. I couldn’t bring myself to correct her, though I noticed Luis blushing slightly. It gave him a boyish, innocent vibe that made me smile.

The diner’s cute. It has an old school vibe, with red leather booths and a small jukebox at every table. It’s definitely nothing like that stuffy restaurant Rosa took me to, thank God. A place like this is much more my style.

As soon as the hostess leaves, Luis and I fall into an easy conversation. Even though it’s been the better part of a year since we’ve seen each other, it’s like no time has passed at all. He’s been doing really well since finishing school, putting in a lot of hours at a pediatric clinic. He tells me some funny stories about the cute kids he sees every day and it’s clear that he loves his job.

I forgot how down to earth Luis was. It’s so refreshing after having to deal with those women at the park. I can feel all of the tension leaving my shoulders as we order our food—pancakes for me and a BLT for Luis— and continue to talk.

I decide to tell him all about the mom group disaster. “They were just so snotty and rude,” I concluded with a sigh. It feels good to confide in someone about how awkward I felt. “Anyway, thanks for suggesting we get something to eat. I really needed this break.”

Luis rolls his eyes. “Yeah, those moms have let too many protein shakes and liquid lunches go to their heads. I see women like that all the time at the clinic. They never lift a finger for their kids. It’s all ‘Here’s the nanny. I’m off to get my manicure now. Bye.”

I shake my head. “Wow, that’s terrible.”

Luis leans forward conspiratorially. “Sometimes they hit on me and I think they think I’m like a personal trainer or something, instead of a medical professional.”

I try not to stare at his arms, or think about how good they look in that tank.

“They’re like ‘So how much do you bench at the gym again?’ I want to be like ‘Hey lady, aren’t you married? That rock on your finger is as big as my apartment.’ But I just laugh it off.” He shrugs. “What else can you do?”

“It’s nice to know you’ve got a sense of humor about them. I just felt humiliated.”

Luis gives me a comforting smile. “I figure they have to be really bored at home or whatever to chat me up, like we’re all still in high school or something.”

I swirl a bite of pancake in some syrup. “I can understand the boredom, though.” I tell Luis how excited I am to get back to work in a month and he asks me all about the hospital.

It’s so nice to hang out with someone who knew me before I became a mom. I did have a whole identity separate from Alfred, after all. If I can’t find a place with other moms, at least I feel comfortable with Luis,

“So, I was just wondering…” Luis turns toward Alfred in his highchair and smiles. “How’s this little guy doing? I thought you were being a surrogate? Are you a single mom instead? How did that happen?” His tone is casual, but I can tell that he’s been dying to ask for our entire meal.

I take another bite of food to give myself time to think of the best way to answer that minefield of a question.

“Well…” I hedge, taking a sip of Coke.

God Ciara, it’s not like it’s a secret, just spit it out. How do I explain what happened to me and Evans?

I shrug. “It got complicated. Alfred is mine and things just didn’t work out like I’d planned.” The moment the words are out of my mouth, I wish I could take them back.

What the hell? I basically just told Luis I’m single! Why did I just say that? Am I tricking myself into thinking this is a carefree date with Luis? Because it’s not. You’re in a relationship Ciara! You’re about to plan your huge wedding! You just had makeup sex with your almost-husband the other night for God’s sake.

Suddenly my phone rings, making me jump. I swear, the universe can hear our thoughts sometimes, because Evans' face shows up on the screen.

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