I heard the sound of the slap echoing through the room before I felt the sharp pain lacing through my cheek. My head was ringing, but I had never felt more clear-headed than now, glaring at Cassian with undisguised hatred.
Meanwhile, Cassian was looking at his own hand with an expression of shock on his face, as though he was surprised that he had actually slapped me. I sneered with disdain; after all he had done to me, to think he’d have the audacity to be surprised at his own actions.
"Shut up about things you don’t understand!" Cassian roared, enraged. He was practically trembling with anger, and I stepped back to avoid being showered by his spit, an expression of disgust on my face. "If you don’t, I’ll―"
"What? Hit me again?" I interrupted him mercilessly, tilting my head in the other direction, offering my other cheek with a taunting expression. "Do it then, since you know nothing better than to use those meaty fists of yours to hurt. Come on," I patted my cheek mockingly. "Might as well make both sides of my face swell up evenly."
Cassian’s face twisted in anger, and he raised his hand again. I braced myself for the blow, looking at him straight in the eye. I wasn’t going to flinch― this stupid, cowardly man did not deserve to feel any satisfaction from causing me pain and suffering.
But the expected blow didn’t come― or more precisely, it did not land on me. Cassian clenched his hand into a fist, and swung it at the wall behind my head instead. I heard the sound of the wall cracking, and bits of plaster began to slowly fall on my hair and shoulders.
I jerked in surprise. I was prepared for his fist to land on me, but for him to have a change of mind and express his anger on the wall instead was something I had not expected.
Nevertheless, it only took me a brief second to straighten myself. This one punch wasn’t going to add much to his list of crimes against me and our supposed fated bond. But at the same time, just because he stopped himself this one time also wasn’t going to reduce the amount of hurt and damage he had done to me either.
"Are you short-sighted now?" I asked. "My cheek is right here," I said, pointing towards it. "Or is that one brain cell you have living in your skull working in overdrive to process my earlier words?"
Cassian snarled, his face so red that it was almost worrying. I hoped he would have a stroke.
"You should be grateful that I don’t have the time to entertain your nonsense," he finally spat out.
"Why? Do you have someplace better to be? I didn’t realize that you had an impossibly busy schedule out here in the middle of nowhere, than to be here with me," I retorted.
After all, this couldn’t possibly be Shadowclaw. I couldn’t think of a possible alternate location; no other pack would be willing to house us after having heard what had happened to Shadowclaw when the rogues attacked, only to take me as their loot.
However, it wasn’t as though I wanted him to be here. Out of the three, Cassian had the most talent in riling me up. He was also the most attached to Violet, and by extension of that, the one who was willing to hurt me the most.
At the thought of her, my lips curled venomously.
"Oh wait. Perhaps you decided to bring Violet here with you on this fun little adventure? Is this to make up for the lack of a honeymoon?"
I made a show of looking around, half-expecting Violet to pop her head through the door or smile sweetly at me through the window grills. She always did have an ability to appear at the worst possible timing. But there was no sign nor smell of her anywhere.
How strange. Did she not come along with the triplets? I thought she would be the person responsible for orchestrating my current circumstances. She did love to see me suffer. On top of that, it was unlikely she would allow the triplets a chance to be alone with me.
Violet worried so much that I would steal her chosen mates from under her nose, that she wasn’t even willing to allow me to leave quietly. She would rather have me dead to make sure there were no incidents or change of heart.
Then again, that also spoke of how little trust she had in the triplets and their affection towards her. I was also starting to see it a lot more clearly.
Rowan, Soren, and Cassian didn’t love Violet. They didn’t love me either. I wasn’t sure if they even properly liked Willow, considering how half-assed they were in her afterlife matters. They weren’t even willing to go look for her body to make sure she was really dead and not alive and suffering somewhere!
The truth was that Rowan, Soren, and Cassian loved only themselves. Violet was blinded by her thirst for power, while I, on the other hand, was a puppet of the Moon Goddess, forced to have some supernatural affection for them.
I hated how my feelings were still so attuned to theirs. There was never a mark. We were never truly bonded. But perhaps it was because they were triplets ― and maybe even quadruplets, with the addition of Lucien ― that every aspect of the mate bond seemed heightened between us.
They hated me with all their heart. But they were also unwilling to set me free.
Likewise, even if I did harbor any inkling of hope for them to return my love and want for them at the beginning, now, all I wanted was to leave them. A part of me loathed the idea of never seeing them again, while another part of me rejoiced, for I knew that this was the only way I could end my suffering.
"Violet’s place is with the pack," Cassian declared haughtily. "She’s not like you― willingly cavorting with rogues. She knows what’s important."
"So does she know the three of you are spending time with me... alone? In a secluded place in the middle of nowhere?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
Cassian turned silent for a moment. My lips curled into a smirk. I had hit the nail right on the head, it seemed. This entire operation was done without her knowledge.
"If you’re getting tired of her, you can just reject her. You shouldn’t be using me as an excuse," I pointed out nastily. "Then again, that might be asking too much out of you and your brothers― there are three bodies in total, but not a single spine to be found. You get the Luna you deserve."
This time, the punch landed firmly on my cheek. My head rang with dizziness, and I spat out a mouthful of blood. His blow had landed so firmly that it knocked out some of my teeth, and I spat them out too. They made a sharp, clattering sound as they landed on the floor of the room.
"You’d better think twice about using that smart mouth of yours," Cassian said threateningly. "We don’t need you to speak."
Case in point.
"You don’t need me at all," I retorted, swiping my tongue across my bleeding mouth. I hoped Lucian was feeling my pain through our bond, and I hoped my pain acted like a beacon for him, like a lighthouse next to the ocean, guiding him back to me.
He would find me. I had to believe in that, because the alternative was unthinkable. I knew, deep down in my bones, that he wasn’t dead, no matter what Cassian had spewed out earlier. I would feel it if he had left this world. There would be a cavernous hole in my heart.
Even just the mere act of the triplets’ marriage with Violet was enough to cause me so much pain and agony. I could only imagine what would happen if one of my found fated mates died.
If there was no pain, then it meant that Lucien was still alive. And if he was alive, he would come for me.
𝒇𝙧𝙚𝓮𝙬𝙚𝓫𝒏𝓸𝓿𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝙤𝓶
Until he did, I could endure any indignity, every bit of suffering and pain. I would pour it all into the bond, using them as breadcrumbs to lead Lucian to me.
Cassian took a deep breath, seemingly to calm himself. Once he was done, the golden glow of his eyes dimmed. He had kept his wolf in check. Sneering, he made his way to the door, turning the handle to pull it open. However, he didn’t immediately pass.
"I need you to stay here and stay put," he lowly said. "Don’t you dare think of going anywhere, because if you do, we will find you."
"What’s the point of keeping me here?" I shot back. "You don’t even want me around! If all you care about is whatever grievances you have with me, then just avenge it! There’s no need for us to be tethered like this forever when neither of us want it!"