"No..." Amethiel whispers, his eyes wide.
His hands were shaking.
It wasn’t the controlled kind of shaking he could hide.
It was obvious, small tremors running through his fingers as he stared at them, as something inside him had just been struck too hard.
"You knew you should’ve given it, right? The royal family has more advanced technology; they handle all the new monsters. If anything, what we’re doing is illegal." Hyacinthe says, crossing his arms against his chest.
"It’s..." Amethiel couldn’t speak now, for once, he was speechless.
His throat felt tight.
His thoughts were there, rushing, but none of them were forming into words.
"Tsk." Lilior clicked his tongue. "If Johnson hadn’t said anything, we wouldn’t have realized. You certainly have been playing us, Amie. You’re using your cleverness to treat us like fools."
’This can’t be happening.’ Amethiel thought, staring down at his hands resting on his lap.
His breathing started to grow heavier, uneven, like he was trying to keep up with something that was already out of his control.
"You can’t talk your way out of this one, Amie," Lilior says. "As soon as father gets home, we will tell him to inform the royal family and the research institute about this ’Kree’ monster so they can take it."
"No!" Amethiel looks up at them. "No... you can’t—"
"You can’t use pity on us anymore, Amie. This is for your own good. This isn’t healthy. Your obsession isn’t healthy." Hyacinthe scolds him. "Starting today, we will have the knights take that monster. You can keep the rest, but Johnson will have to put that strange monster in our cellar."
Amethiel’s breathing was getting heavier and heavier.
Each inhale felt too sharp. Each exhale is too short.
This was the first time he had ever felt this way.
"You can do that, right?" Hyacinthe asks Johnson, who nods.
"Yes, your grace. I will make sure the monster is kept until the—"
"NO!" Amethiel screams now, shocking all three men.
The sound tore out of him, raw and sudden, nothing like the composed tone he usually carried.
"Amie—"
"NO, NO, NO!" Amethiel felt it.
There was wetness on his cheeks.
It was a bit warm.
He blinked, and more slipped down.
He was... crying?
"He’s crying."
"When have we seen him cry last?"
"Little grace—"
"I’ve... I’ve worked so hard!" Amethiel cried out, his voice breaking as he wiped at his eyes again and again, only for more tears to replace them.
"I’ve suffered and sacrificed because I just want to prove myself as a researcher! Hya, you’re becoming the next duke, Lili. You have your job as Hya’s right-hand man. I have nothing but monster research!"
His chest hurt.
His voice shook.
And yet, he didn’t stop.
Amethiel was full on sobbing now, his breath coming in uneven pulls, his entire body trembling.
His brothers stood there, visibly thrown off, like they didn’t know what to do with this version of him.
"I just want to become a great researcher, but how can I when all the information about the existing monsters already is everywhere!" he continued, his voice rising again. "And the new things I find about them... nobody takes it seriously!"
Amethiel was... throwing a tantrum.
But there was something underneath it.
Something that didn’t feel entirely fake.
He stood up abruptly, his movements unsteady, and started stomping his feet against the ground, frustration spilling out of him in bursts he couldn’t contain.
"Amethiel, don’t cry... You have to understand we—"
"You never let me do what I want for my career!" he snapped, cutting them off. "You always think I’ll die, you always think I’m going to get hurt! It’s as if you just want me to stay here in this stupid manor, doing nothing but socialize with primpy, stupid, other nobles!"
Lilior looked genuinely panicked now, stepping forward instinctively, hand reaching out.
Amethiel slapped it away.
"I FINALLY have something I want to work hard for!" Amethiel screams out, his voice cracking completely now. "Why do you hate me so much?! Just because you think it’s weird, just because I’m not like the two of you!"
"We don’t hate you." Hyacinthe grabs Amethiel, trying to hug him, but Amethiel keeps pushing him away. "If anything, we love you too much, and we don’t want you to get hurt—"
Amethiel looks up at him, tears still streaking from his eyes, his vision slightly blurred from how much had already fallen.
"You can’t protect me from everything! Just because you think monsters killed our mother, doesn’t mean it’s true!"
There it was.
Something that just slipped out.
It wasn’t a secret.
It was mostly an open secret.
But still... saying it like that, throwing it at them, felt different.
When Amethiel had turned one, apparently, their mother had been asked by the royal family to look into a new species of monster after almost two years of maternity leave.
Amethiel’s mother, being the head researcher, of course,e couldn’t deny.
And apparently, she had died there.
It was an accident.
She fell off a cliff she didn’t see, running after a monster, trying to catch it.
Apparently, the monster had escaped when they caught it, but she knew how to disarm it.
"All you ever do... You two... father... everyone else in this house is comparing me to a woman I have NEVER met." Amethiel whispers, his voice trembling, but quieter now, heavier.
"The one thing that makes me feel close to her is following after her, and you want to take that away from me? I have HER blood in me. Her blood that the two of you COMPLETELY IGNORE."
He takes a step back.
Something in him shifts.
The sadness doesn’t disappear, but it hardens, sharpens into something else.
Anger.
"The reason father agrees to let me do what I want isn’t that I manipulate him, as you all ALWAYS think, it’s because HE KNOWS I’m like our mother. Why do you want to take that away?"
"We don’t..." Lilior couldn’t speak now, his earlier confidence gone, his voice faltering. Even Hyacinthe, who always seemed so sure of himself, looked like he didn’t know what to say.
Johnson stood awkwardly off to the side now, his earlier firmness gone, his expression clearly wishing he wasn’t part of this anymore.
"Amethiel..." Hyacinthe whispers. He glances at Lilior, and Lilior looks back at him, both of them silently searching for something to say.
Anything.
"Amethiel, I’m sorry. Don’t cry, we... we won’t take the monster anymore," Lilior says.
"What? But, Your grace—"
Hyacinthe immediately cuts Johnson off, stepping forward and grabbing Amethiel’s face gently, wiping away his tears with his thumb. "We’re sorry. We didn’t think it meant that much to you; we just thought it was a strange hobby."
His voice softened. "I... I think we’ve been trying to coddle you because you do remind us of mother, but we haven’t even thought about how you felt."
Amethiel sniffled.
He didn’t answer.
"We... we won’t take this from you," Hyacinthe continues, quieter now. "But you have to promise us you’ll at least show yourself to us once a day, just so we know you’re okay. We’re just concerned about you, Amie."
"That’s right," Lilior adds, reaching up to gently caress Amethiel’s hair. "We just... can’t lose you. We’re afraid this is something that will take you away from us, too."
"I’m sorry, brothers," Amethiel whispers, finally stepping forward and hugging them both. His grip was tight, almost desperate. "I’m sorry for worrying you."
"We’re sorry for making you cry," Lilior murmurs. "You should be more open with us like this, so we could understand you more."
"Yeah, we almost thought you didn’t have any real feelings inside you," Hyacinthe says, trying to lighten the mood, though his voice still carries a hint of guilt.
"Yeah... you’re right. I try to hide whatever feelings are inside me because I think I’m too smart for it."
And Amethiel was.
’Haha... hahaha... HAHAHA!’ Amethiel laughs inside his mind as he hugs his brothers, who were still comforting him, completely unaware.
He was losing.
Amethiel didn’t like losing.
Not even a little.
Which meant he had to do something he hadn’t tried before.
Cry.
And then, use the dead mother card.
And it worked.
It felt... a bit degrading, lowering himself like that, letting them see him like this.
But oh, sweet victory.
"Thank you, brothers," Amethiel whispers, trying his best not to smile. "I knew you both would understand."