After Alpha got missing or after the thoughts that he was burned to ashes, life went on at the fortress. The werewolves dominated everything and no human was given a chance. The few humans around know they'll die if they come out in the open. They do things secretly going to the bower to have meetings with Catherine and her team.
Damien never came around. He continued visiting the pub. Drinking and sleeping on the streets. He kills anyone who laughs at him. He doesn't care if it's coming from a werewolf or not. He got himself some Baldwin and continued wallowing in his pages. One night he woke up from a nightmare. Alpha was in it. Catherine too was there and Sarah and Sam but still he couldn't remember them. He felt strange and slapped himself hard. He took out his gun and placed it in his mouth.
"It's better I blow myself out of this world. I am not aware of something and I couldn't remember it. I should die."
He raised the gun higher into his mouth nearly getting through his throat. He was about to pull the trigger when someone knocked on his door.
"Who is it?" He said.
"Open up. It's me."
"Boy?"
"Yes, sir. Didn't see you today at the pub. I bring you some gin."
"Oh, thank you."
"I want to ask you for something. Since we came here from Fifth Alley after my parents' death I have been working at the pub. I love books. I don't see many people reading around. Can we read together?"
"What do you want to read, boy?"
"Books."
"What kind of books?"
"Like that one." He pointed to the copy of Baldwin's collection on the table.
"That's Baldwin. He wrote great books. He's gay Iike me. Are you sure you want to read him?"
"Yes. I want to read great books and become a writer. Lots of stories around us. I see them so much in the pub."
"You should come tomorrow. I'll give you a book to read."
"Thank you, sir."
The boy left the room and Damien took back his gun. He glanced at it and thought for the first why he wanted to kill himself. He found no reason other than he couldn't remember things that seemed he'd done before. He dropped the gun and started laughing.
"Could have wasted me. What will that amount to?" What?"
He stood up and walk outside.
***
Catherine took to writing Damien letters. She wrote the first two about their love for books. How they started reading at the hospital when he was shot. How she read him the complete books of Tolkien and Richard Powers. She wrote him about their plays with Alpha and the others. He never wrote back. He just read the letters and threw them in his bin.
One day she wrote him about Baldwin and that was when he responded. He was happy the letter was about Baldwin and he wrote back by sending a page of all Baldwin's collections. He saw the area on the letters. He knew it was close by but he never visited. He wrote back again last night after discussing with the boy.
"Hello. Last night I nearly pulled the trigger but Baldwin saved me. He used the boy. Don't know why I'm writing this. But if you received it, I'll come to visit soon."
But he never visited. He never really get why he should visit. And they are still hunting humans then stay haunted at night.
He called his gang into the pub one night. They gathered around him and he climbed on the table. His muscular nature is tempting. The ladies in the circle smacked. He looked away from them. Not everyone knows he's gay.
"I have to address you tonight. All of you, we've come a long way. We started this revolution together. We ate humans together and at night we dined together. Today I'm no longer your Alpha. I know want to devote my time to reading. If you call me Alpha, you are dead."
He stepped down and walked toward the boy.
"Meet me in my room tomorrow."
"Alright, sir."
***
Catherine never stopped sending him letters. But he stopped responding and focused on reading with the boy. They read all of Baldwin's books and moved to others. Damien started thinking he'll become a writer. But still, he wants to find himself.
He needs to find himself. He knows something his missing.
***
Sam also never stopped working on solutions with Catherine and Sarah but daily they got tired and it seems they will end up dying without solving the problem. The werewolves got weaker. The humans got tired of waiting for things to get better. Time is slower.
***
"Which book are we reading next?"
"Let's do Yeats. I have seen some things in his works."
"Alright. I'll bring them from tomorrow."
"Great. And don't forget to bring your journal."
He took out his note and started writing a letter to Catherine. He quoted Baldwin first.
"You have to go the way your blood beats. If you don’t live the only life you have, you won’t live some other life, you won’t live any life at all.
Catherine, I don't know what to say to you. I know you are human but I can't relate to what you are saying in your letters. I don't that's me. I mean I don't know and I will love to know. But need read what Baldwin said here.”
***
"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”
***
"I'll see you tomorrow after dawn. I'll come with my friend. He's a writer and we have been reading amazing writers together. Also, I don't know where Smallsvile is going. I wish I know."
***
Catherine smiled when she received the letter. She ran to the others and told them Damien is coming to visit.
"Damien! Are you sure? Sam asked.
"Yeah. Look at his letter. He's coming.
"That's great," Sarah said and continued analyzing the molecules before her.
"Catherine whispered to Sam. " Get the sword ready. We need to make sure he's back to his real self."
"You sure about that?"
"Yes. We can't lose him too. Alpha is gone but Damien remains."
"Sure. I'll get ready."
***
The next day, Damien wore a nice shirt and jinns trousers. He walked out of his house and met the boy outside. They both smiled.
"Boy, we are going to see my friends. They've been writing me for a while now and they are humans."
"Alright, sir. Are we reading them a book?"
"Definitely. We need to. Writers don't go out without a book. I need to present them one or two books."
"That will be great."
"Let's get going."
***
Before they got to the bower, Catherine has prepared the ditch and the sword has been made ready for the cutting. They told the other humans to get to the bunker after an hour with their guests. That was the plan.
Damien and the boy walked into the bower. The hound was here as usual. He glanced up and somehow he felt he has been there before. Just that he couldn't remember. He walked to the door and knocked.
"Hello. We are here."
Catherine stood up and walked to the door. She opened it and smiled and hugged Damien. The boy stopped him. He is lanky and cuts his hair low.
"You're welcome. Come on in."
They entered and Damien glanced around again. It felt so real each time as he got closer to everything. Sam sat on a chair closer to Sarah and the others sat around them. They were discussing and smiling. He waves at them. Sam and Sarah came over.
"Welcome here."
"Thank you."
" You can have your seat. I'll be right back."
Damien examed the interior deco, he still feels connected but doesn't understand now. He told himself right there he'll listen to them to see if he'll find himself. Identity is a construct but it's hard when you forget or can't remember who you were.
"Here is tea and some pieces of bread. Please eat."
"Thank you."
"Sarah, please come join us. Sam too."
"Damien, what do you think about Yeats?"
He smiled. "Yeats is great. He's a god when it comes to words. You can't read his poems and not feel a tang."
"Yeah," the boy said smiling. "Yeats is great but I fell in love with Neruda later."
"You don't mean it," Damien exploded. "Neruda is on another planet. He wrote like he was possessed. But then we are all possessed at each point of our lives. Right now that's what is going on."
"Damien," Sarah said. "Do you remember us? Me, Catherine, and Sam?"
He glanced at them all and said, "It feels like I know you guys but then I don't know you. And I want to know you."
"That's a sign of neurological disease. I told my friends but they aren't listening. You know we could run you through an fMRI to see what's wrong. Will you be willing?"