She likes to talk about anything. Whether happy or sad. You can clearly see that what she is saying is still fresh in her mind because it is accompanied by emotion. When her story is happy and she laughs. When she is sad, she tears and cries. But I'm not referring to what Aunt Mila said about Ade. He was just too advanced so he led me.
"You're laughing, aren't you?" he asked.
"It's just a little bit, because I want to know something else," I said.
"Do you know why I said that writers are liars?" Exactly, he pointed out as well as about his poems. That's what I want to know because Aunt Mila also mentioned that.
I shook my head at his question in response. "Because they make readers believe lies, including the impossible, the happy ending, and most of all they take away from the reality of real life," he said. What an abnormal thought. Just because of that he called us liars and cheaters?
“That is why there is a genre and there is something called fiction! There is a fantasy that makes the impossible possible, there is a slice of life or a nonfic that you can connect to reality. What's the use of fantasy, fanfic, general fiction, or the word fiction itself if writers write exclusively about reality? I wish they had just written a documentary.”
I'm just a little annoyed. I still thought the depth of what he pulled was just because of the happy ending so he acted to judge the writers and of course I was there with him.
"Mia, the reality I'm referring to is the happy ending, because the happy ending is not true in real life."
"You're saying, there is no happy ending?"
"Nothing,"
"You know you're abnormal," He laughed out loud because of what I said. What is he fighting for in life?
It’s not that they didn’t end up with the first woman he loved, that’s also what he wanted to happen around him. Even in books, he still likes it that way. He is the only one who will bitterly affect the whole Earth.
"Jr, not everyone is the same as you in lovelife. There are lovers who really love each other and stay together,” I said while rolling my eyes.
"Where's the happy ending?" he asked me frowning so I looked at him.
"They got married." I said angrily.
"And?" he added.
"They have formed a family that has had children and grandchildren."
"And?" what is he fighting for.
"And they grow old together," I replied.
"And one died and the other was left," he added then smiled. “It's still not happy because someone was left behind and mourned. Ok, let's re-phrase, they died together and left their mourning family.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “There is only an ending but no one is happy, that is the reality. But you can also be happy because they died together.”
Tss! That's what he's fighting for. So, he was bitter and he felt the whole Earth with his bitterness.
“You believe that and I believe differently. But, I respect yours.” I smiled at him to let him know I respected his point of view. It's not because we have different beliefs that I will oppose him. That's his point of view and I also have my own point of view.
I don’t have his position so I don’t see what he’s fighting for. So I'll just respect even if I don't understand. Only he knows his reason so I don't want to argue.
"Did you know that I learn that from Ade?" I looked at him and the butterflies in my stomach agreed again. But this time there was a twitter companion when I saw his smile.
"Learn from what?" I ask.
“The things I told you about happy ending. Ade used to tell me, ‘there is no such thing called happy ending’ because no matter how happy you are you will still cry when you lose someone. Like the people you will leave behind when you are gone.” The sadness in her eyes seemed to make her cry every time he mentioned Ade. "Whatever the joy of life, there are still people that cries when someone you love is gone and you can no longer be with them."
“I used to just laugh at Ade when she said that, but when she's gone it was only then that I realized she was right. The sad thing is that I still carry the pain.” Then he drank bubble tea.
I laughed and then repeated what he said.
"I thought I was the only negative here, why you too also." I changed the subject so that he would not be sad but he just laughed at me. "Or why are you laughing?"
“Negatives are different from accepting reality, Mia. The negative are those like you that no matter how happy life is you are still focused on the bad. While accepting the reality is like me that no matter how good life is and no matter how happy life is it is acceptable that it still has a limit when the day comes. So as long as that limit is not reached, be happy and learn to be happy. Love what is there because you don't know when you will be with them last. It can be tomorrow, later or it can be until now.”
Your a deep man, Jr. and the depth I don’t know if I’ll believe you. But I honestly understand you and I know you won’t believe me. When I tell you that even though I haven't experienced what you've been through, I can feel what you want to convey. I get your point but I just don't want to admit to you and myself that what you are saying is true.
Because for me, life still has a happy ending.
"So you want to fight with me?" I ask.
"Nothing, I just want to tell you that happiness does not end in marriage, because within marriage there are still trials and errors in marriage so there is still no happiness there."
"Fine, you won so please stopped." I know, but what we're talking about is that they ended up being married and that's the point of my happy ending. If there are any trials, it will be in another season of their lives. But I know he can't understand that.
"I know, just come with me to Ade's grave." I raised an eyebrow at him and immediately protested.
“Why and for what? Then we are not close. Later it came to our house.”
“Are you afraid of ghosts? He laughs.
"No, I just don't like others in the room."
"I'll just introduce you to him and don't worry she's loyal to her home."
"How you will me introduce me her?"
"That you are the one who gives her flowers."
"I do not want!" I disagree.
"Why?"
"I'm not in the mood to wander, then I don't want to leave," I said irritably.
Not that I'm not in the mood. I just really don’t want to go with him. I don’t want to see any emotion he has in front of the grave of the woman he loves.
"If you come with me, I will let you read one of the poems I made." I feel like all the stars in the sky are shining even though the sun is so straight because of what he said. “Hmp! Mama didn't mention to you that apart from making poetry, I also make short stories, is that called a short story? Ah flash fiction I think ------- and spoken poetry.”
Yeah I remeber aunt Mila told me that Jr. was writing when he locked himself in his room. But what he said was true so he would let me read the others.
“In writing I am escaping the pain of reality that I cannot face. All the cowardice and pain I put all out in my writing.” Now I gradually understand him there in what he said cowardly writers hide it in words and letters. Because it was his job to put in the writings the cowards he could not fight.
Apart from writing, I like to read poetry, whether in Tagalog or English. My favorite of all are Lang Leav’s poems. So it was as if my earthly body was suddenly excited by the pretentiousness. I really wanted to pull him when we left and went home immediately.
"Will you let me borrow what you wrote?" I ask in assurance.
"Yes, if you come with me." He winked, which melted my heart.
"Is that sure and you're not fooling me?"
“Yes, after cemetery we will go home and give you my books.”
“What are you waiting for? Let's just go to the cemetery.” He laughed when I took his hand. I'm not excited, just a little.
"Easy, don't be too excited," he said without stopping to laugh.