#BTSEp36
"Asia, bakla mag-relax ka!" Sambit ni Jopay na ngayon ay mahigpit ang hawak sa kamay ko.
"Kaya nga! 'Wag mong dibdibin dahil wala ka n'on!" Pagak na tumawa si Hendrix na nasa kabilang tabi ko. Billie joined him. But what he said earned him a glare and a slap from Avryl na nasa kabilang tabi niya.
Right now, we are all sitting on my sofa. Nakaharap kami sa flat screen TV habang hinihintay ang late night show ni Tita Girlie. Sa show niya i-re-reveal ang katotohanan sa pagitan ng pekeng relasyon namin ni Liv.
At ang mga lokang ito, na-pagdesisyunan nilang damayan ako. Actually, gusto ko na lang talagang mapag-isa. Kaso pineste nila ako hanggang sa pumayag ako sa kanila.
"Ayan na!" Billie exclaimed. She is franctically pointing her index finger towards the television. "What the hell? Bakit ako kinakabahan?!"
I chose to stay silent as Tita Girlie started to appeared on the television. She is looking as if not happy with the news that she is about to spill. She is a massive supporter of our love team. Paniguradong isa siya sa naiinis patungkol sa nangyari sa amin ni Liv.
"Good morning, televiewers." Tita Girlie has this tone on her voice that screams proffesionalism. She is straightly looking at the camera. It's as if she is stabbing the viewers with the sharp news that will surely break our fans' heart.
"Kapapasok lamang po ng balitang ito. Ito ay patungkol sa biglaang issue ng LivAce love team." Tita Girlie said as she continues to stand up. Her hands are gesturing in the air as she speaks. "Hiwalay na po sina Grace Samonte at Liv Zoberano."
I can clearly hear the gasped from the audience on the studio. Ganoon na rin ang mga kaibigan ko. Pare-pareho silang napabuga ng hangin as if ngayon lang nila iyon nalaman.
"Ito po ang kanilang official statement."
From the screen, Tita Girlie started to get out of our sight. Napalitan iyon ng mga salita na mabagal na nag-i-scroll up.
These past few days, our relationship became the main issue from the different Philippine tabloids, showbiz websites and the social media. We are confirming the issue of our breakup. It was true that we chose to go our separate ways on a matured manner. It's for the reason we are still young and have a lot to achieve in life. We chose to focus on our careers first for which what we both wanted at the very beginning.
I look away. Then I heaved a sad sigh. Napalunok ako ng laway habang pilit na pinipigil ang luha sa mga mata ko. Letche kasing dibdib 'to, bakit bigla-bigla na lang kumikirot?
With this, words can't express how grateful we are for our LivAce Fans. Our journey together will never be vivid and surreal if it wasn't for you who shipped us up until we reached our hopeful end. We are assuring you that we are still going to work together. Our love team will stay.
Thank you.
When Tita Girlie started to show up again, the girls hugged me. We are having a group hug and that made me fail to avoid myself from crying. Before I knew it, I was letting out my tears as they continue embracing me.
"Nandito lang kami, babes." Jopay told me as she landed her lips on my temple.
Ganoon rin naman si Hendrix. "Bakla lalaki lang 'yan. Dami-dami diyang iba. Dyosa ka, girl! Hindi ka dapat umiiyak para sa isang gago!"
Mas lalo akong naluha dahil sa kanila. That moment, I was really grateful that they insisted to join me as I watch our revelation regarding my fake relationship with Liv. Kasi kung wala sila dito, baka umiyak na lang talaga ako nang umiyak hanggang umaga.
"Iinom na lang natin 'yan, gaga!" Hendrix continued. I was about to playfully slap him when the girls agreed with him.
"G kami!" Billie said as she helped me wipe my endless tears with her thumb.
"Ako rin!" Avryl cutely said while raising her hand. Katulad ko ay naluluha rin siya.
"Alam niyo kayo, humahanap lang talaga kayo ng paraan para uminom." Natatawa kong sambit. The pain on my heart is temporarily subsiding.
"G ka na rin ba, Asia? Tomorrow night, okay?" Billie insisted at kapag siya na iyong nagpumilit, oo at oo lang ang choice ko. I only nod at her while rolling my eyes playfully.
Then we group hug again. They were mumbling moving on words for me which I am trying hard to swallow but I just can't. My heart is still longing for Liv. My heart is still belong to him.
***
"Okay, naka-set na ba ang lahat?" Carlise told us as he motioned the DJ he hired on his unit. Iba talaga mag-pa-party ang lalaking ito. Kulang na lang ay gawing club itong unit niya.
"Yes, bro!" Gustov responded as he put some chips on the table that's situated near us.
"DJ Montano . . ." Carlise mumbled as he smiled at the DJ. The DJ has this long hair. He is wearing an eye glass which never ruin his good looks. For sure, lapitin siya ng mga babae, "hit it!"
Right away, DJ Montano started to play an upbeat music that he created. Sa tugtog noon ay hindi mo talaga maiiwasang i-galaw ang iyong katawan.
Hanggang sa mamalayan ko na lang si Ezra at Lechel. Hinila nila ako papunta sa dance floor kung saan parang baliw na nag-sasayaw sina Javi, Hendrix at Billie. Mga kaliwa ang paa, naknampochi. Si Dashmiel ay naiiling na pinapanood sila.
"Pa-sample nga ng sayaw ng isang Aisa Marupok!"
Naka-poker face ako kay Ezra habang siya ay tawa nang tawa habang ginagalaw-galaw ang mga kamay ko. Sa sinabi niya, wala akong gana para sumayaw. O baka na-bu-bwisit lang ako sa mukha niya? Ewan ko ba. Ang gusto ko na lang ay ang panoorin silang sumayaw na parang mga tanga.
"Inom ka muna, babes!" Jopay handed me the little shot glass.
Nag-aalangan ako noong una dahil ayoko talaga ng lasa ng alak. Pero dahil nga they insisted at pushover ako, wala akong nagawa. Nilagok ko ang alak. Halos masuka-suka talaga ako habang napapangiwi!
Ito namang halimaw na si Ezra! Hindi na nilubayan ang mga kamay ko. Patuloy akong sinasayaw! Sarap sukahan sa mukha!
A few minutes after, si Avryl naman ang nag-abot sa akin ng alak. And swear, nakakahalata na ako sa mga 'to! Plano ba nilang lasingin ako ngayong gabi?!
At ayon nga, dahil nga wala akong sariling desisyon, I started drinking the beer again. Sa pangalawang lagok ay tinamaan na ako agad. Ramdam na ramdam kong lumandas ang init ng alak sa lalamunan ko. Ganoon na rin ang init na dinulot nito sa katawan ko. I found myself starting to be active.
Bago ko pa ito ma-realize, nag-sasayaw na pala ako habang patuloy kong iniinom ang panibagong glass na inalok sa akin ni Carlise. Dashmiel is about to stop him but I insisted, iinom ako! Iinom ako para sumaya!
"Nakakarami ka na, Asia." Dashmiel told me as he watched me drink. Hindi ko siya pinansin.
I was in the middle of drinking the beer when I saw Lechel to open the door. At halos mabuga ko talaga iyong alak nang makitang pumasok sina Ysballe at Liv sa loob. My eyes automatically focused on their holding hands. That welcomed an unwelcomed pain on my chest. Uminom na lang ako ng alak, nagkukunwaring wala lang sa akin ang nakita.
"Who invited them?!" I can clearly hear Jopay. She is yelling at Carlise. "Tanga ka ba?! Alam mong sila ang ang dahilan kung bakit nasasaktan si Asia!"
But I chose to pretend that I am not hearing them. I am dancing with the upbeat music. My heart continued to sink with the thoughts of me and Liv in one unit. This is the first time after that moment when I caught him and Ysablle in the act.
"Hindi ko alam kung paano nila nalaman!" Carlise responded.
"Shit, mag nag-post ba sa socmed regarding this?!" Jopay asked again.
I mentally wince. Yes, may nag-post nga sa socmed. At ako iyon. This party is well documented on my IG stories. Ang gaga ko talaga. O baka . . . ginawa ko lang 'yon kasi gusto kong pumunta rin dito si Liv? Kasi miss ko na siya? At baka miss niya na rin ako?
"Hayaan na nga! Basta 'wag na lang nating pag-lapitin sina Ysabelle at Asia. Alright?!" Jopay sighed. Carlise only nod at her before he welcomed Liv and Ysabelle.
Tila bang napansin na nina Avryl at Hendrix sina Ysabelle at Liv. Iyon marahil ang dahilan kung bakit nila ako hinila papunta sa harap ng DJ. Doon, nagsimula silang igiya ang katawan ko para sumayaw. Maya't maya din nila akong binibigyan ng alak. Na hindi ko tinatanggihan. I want to distract myself. Hindi makakatulong sa akin kung patuloy kong ibabaling ang tingin kina Ysabelle at Liv.
Pero ang shit lang. Para bang nananadya pa iyong dalawa. Lumapit din sila sa DJ and from there, they hug each other as they dance with the music. Para bang nang-aasar pa noong tumingin sa akin si Ysabelle. She is smirking at me and I chose to be classy. My night is not deserving for a trash to ruin.
From there, with my broken heart, I started to drink a lot of beer. Nakikita ko pa nga kung paaanong parang gusto akong pigilan ni Liv. He is eyeing me with a neutral expression but his eyes is telling a ton of hesitations. Noong kami pa kasi, ayaw niyang umiinom ng alak.
"Inom pa!" Ezra told me as he continued pouring beer on my shot glass. Para akong tanga habang tumatawa kasabay ng pagsayaw ko sa ilalim ng musika. I am wasted as I tried to forget everything. And gladly, it was working.
Nagpakalasing ako.
Hanggang sa makalimutan kong malapit lang pala sa akin si Liv.
Hanggang sa para bang nakalimutan kong mahal ko pa pala siya.
Hanggang sa mawalan na lang ako ng malay.
***
When I woke up, pag-ngiwi ang una kong ginawa. Napasakit ng ulo ko! Pero hindi ko iyon ininda nang maramdaman kong naduduwal ako! Kahit na nahihilo pa ay nagmadali akong pumunta sa banyo.
From the sink, I puke my liver out. I am gagging for a long moment when I calmed myself. Noong matapos ako ay pinunasan ko ang bibig ko mula sa running water. Nag-tooth brush na rin ako at ginawa ang morning skin care routine ko.
Ewan pero hindi na rin bago sa akin ito. Para kasing araw-araw akong ganito. Nahihilo at nasusuka sa umaga. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit. Siguro, dahil sa pagod at stress.
Bumuga na lang ako ng malalim na hininga.
From the mirror, hindi ko na makilala ang sarili ko. Gulo-gulo ang buhok ko na para bang nakipagsabunutan! I was wincing as I comb my hair.
"Broken ka lang, Asia! Ma-bo-broken pero hindi papangit!" I told myself at the mirror. Para akong baliw. Noong marealize ko iyon ay naiiling na lang akong lumabas ng banyo.
Then I heard my door bell the moment I reached my mini-kitchen. I am yawning as I gravitated my feet towards the door. I was really bored as I decided to focus my gaze at the peephole first.
Pero natigilan ako noong ang bumungad doon ay si Mother Lizly.
Kasama si Ysabelle.