#BTSEp37
I was with quizzical look on my eyes when I opened the door. Agad na bumungad sa akin ang pag-aalala sa mukha ni Mother Lizly at ang iritasyon sa kilay ni Ysabelle. Nalilito akong tinignan lang sila. Naghihintay para kusa nilang sabihin ang sinasadya sa unit ko.
"Hija, how are you?" Mother Lizly finally mumbled as she hugged me.
"Always fine, Mother." I gave her a smile and then she hugged me. Bumeso siya sa akin bago bumitaw sa yakap namin.
Pinapasok ko sila sa loob. The two of them sat on my sofa, doon ako naupo sa couch. The last thing that I want is to sit next to a snake. Pride na lang ang mayroon ako ngayon, bakit ko pa ipagkakait sa sarili ko?
"So, ano pong sinadya mo dito?" And then I raised an eyebrow at Ysabelle. I was indirectly asking Mother why the hell did she bring the whore on my unit. Alam naman niya kung anong kasamaan ang dinulot sa akin ng pamangkin niya.
"Are you aware about the new issue that was circling on the internet?"
I blink. Magmula kasi noong breakup revelation namin ni Liv, hindi na ako nag-open pa ng social media. Maliban nga lang kagabi, nag-post lang ako sa IG stories ko pero hindi ako nagbasa ng kung ano-ano doon. Iwas sakit na rin kasi. Ayoko nang kawawain pa ang sarili ko. Kasi ewan ko ba, basta may breakup, iyong babae lagi ang kawawa sa mata ng mga tao. Ayoko ng ganoon. Ayokong magmukhang kawawa at iniwan. Kahit totoo naman.
"No po, Mother. Bakit po? Anong nangyari?"
Mother Lizly huffed irritatedly. Tapos ay napapamasahe siya ng noo habang tinatapunan ng kamay si Ysabelle. "Maraming lumabas na speculations na si Ysabelle ang dahilan ng break-up niyo. The whole Philippines is now fuming because of the alleged issue--"
I cut her off. "Ay, bakit Mother? Hindi po ba totoo 'yon? Totoo namang inagaw ni Ysabelle si Liv sa akin--"
It was Ysabelle's turn. "Wait? As far as I know, inagaw mo lang din si Liv kay Aless?" There was a smirk on her face and I want to slap her right now.
"I didn't stole him. He was the one who effin wooed me. He came for me without me doing anything. Unlike you," I threw her a smirk too, "mukhang kinailangan mo pang gamitin ang katawan mo para mang-agaw. Nakakadiri. Pokpok ka, teh?"
That made Ysabelle's face to turn red. If she was a cartoon character, paniguradong umuusok na ang ilong niya sa galit. Gusto ko na lang siyang pag-tawanan. Mukha siyang tanga.
"You, two--" Mother Lizly shook her head as she massaged her forehead more, "itigil niyo na muna iyang away na iyan. We need to resolve this issue first."
"I am not going to cooperate, Mother. That whore should resolve it herself. After all, deserve niya ito dahil mang-aagaw siya." I was firm on my words.
"Hija, malaki ang gulong magagawa nito sa love team niyo ni Liv kung hindi mo ako tutulungang ayusin ito ngayon. Lalo na sa iyo, ikaw ang babae." Mother Lizly sighed. "Liv can manage to fair up with any actress out there and people will still support him. Gwapo, eh. As toxic as it may seems, Philippine Showbiz is always unfair for the female."
Mother is aiming for my cooperation. I can sense it. "Hindi lang si Ysabelle ang pinoprotektahan ko dito, ikaw rin. Malaking gulo ang magagawa nito sa career mo. Pwede pang gawan ng ibang kwento ang issue na ito. And worst, baka ikaw pa ang masisi sa huli. Kaya katulad ng apoy, hangga't maliit pa ang alab nito, kailangan na agad natin itong solusyonan."
I looked away. I was kind of hesitated with what I heard. The last thing that I want right now is to not let my career to hit rock bottom. Ang pagiging artista lang ang tanging propesyon na nakapagbigay ng halaga ko. This has been my life lately. At kapag nasira ito, wala akong nakikitang plano sa future. I already cemented my future plans with the idea of me being a veteran actress.
"Please, hija. Kahit para sa akin na lang?" Mother Lizly's eyes are pleading. And I was really shocked when she walked near me. Then she kneel down infront of me. Her eyes are cascading a tear.
"Mother . . ." I sigh as I help her get up. But she kept on kneeling down. Which is a first for us. I never seen her to beg for me like this. Halatang gustong-gusto niyang matanggap ang pag-sang-ayon ko.
"Hija, naaalala mo iyong mga oras na nakita kitang umiiyak sa workshop?" Mother Lizly told me with her endless tears. "That was the moment I knew that I have to help you. That was that specific moment that I was sure, I will help you get that damn spotlight."
Mother Lizly's voice is breaking. Right now, para ba siyang nakikiusap sa kanyang paboritong anak. "So please, tulungan mo akong maiwasan ang pagkawala sa iyo ng spotlight na natatamasa mo ngayon."
Truth was, it was really Mother Lizly who gave me that specific spotlight for me to pave a name on Showbiz Industry.
That was probably, three years ago. Acting workshop iyon. At ang rason kung bakit ako umiiyak ay dahil sinigawan ako ng isang direktor doon na ngayon ay patay na. He told me that I was not good enough to be an actress. That I will never be an actress because my acting skills were horrible.
For a girl who finally unraveled what she really wanted in the future, that really crashed the starting empire that I made for myself. My dreams. My ambition. My plans. Those three are avalanching down my painful heart. I hit the rock bottom that moment.
Pero nagulat na lang talaga ako noong nilapitan ako ni Mother Lizly. She was a talent scout back then. Hindi pa siya manager. She only scouts for the manager na pinagtatrabahuan niya.
That day, sobrang naawa siya sa akin. She promised me that she will help me make myself big enough so that no one can ever hit me.
And she succeeded. As her first artist to manage, she helped me reach the paramount of my career noong naging artista niya rin si Liv. Naging mabilis ang pangyayari noon. The next thing I knew, I was one of the sought after actress of the Philippines. At ang LivAce love team ang siyang naging maingay sa lahat ng love team na umusbong noong taon na iyon.
For these, words are not enough for me to gratify Mother Lizly. She helped me find my purpose. She helped me reach my own bliss. Lahat ng natamo ko sa buhay ay dahil sa kanya.
At sino ba ako para hindi pagbigyan ang kanyang hiling?
Sa dami ng magandang nagawa niya sa akin, hindi sapat ang itatagal ng buhay ko para mapasalamatan siya
I swallowed hard. "Okay na po, Mother." I was letting out a tear as well. This view of a begging Mother Lizly pained my heart. I can't take it. "I will help you resolve this issue. Don't worry po."
"Thank you, hija." Mother sobbed as she pulled me for a hug. "Thank you."
I am wiping my tears on the back of my head. "Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?"
Pinupunasan na rin ni Mother ang luha sa kanyang mga mata. "I need you to post a picture of the two of you." She motioned her hand in between me and Ysabelle. "I need you to clarify that the issue is not true."
That made me bite my lower lips. Then I turned an irritated gaze at Ysabelle who only look away at me.
I sigh as I turned my gaze at Mother Lizly again. "Okay, Mother. I will." Those words are too painful for my tongue. Nakakainis. Pero wala akong magawa. Si Mother Lizly ito, eh. Hindi ko siya kayang tanggihan.
***

AsyaGrasya guys, your speculations are starting to give me whiplash. Ysabelle and I were best friends, she can never do such things to me. And most of all, Liv and I are still okay as of the moment. That was a happy breakup handled by matured persons. We are just here to support each other and I hope, you all join us too on this challenging separate journey of us.
Please. Stop spreading fake news. Let us all be matured enough to halt ourselves from our toxicity. Let us engage ourselves with positive demeanor towards each other. Okay? OKAY. 💋
Iritado kong pinindot ang post botton. Lahat ng nasa caption ay labas sa ilong ko. Nakakainis lang. Sobrang shit sa feeling habang tina-type ko ito.
Pero alam kong wala na akong magagawa pa kung hindi ang magpanggap na lang.
Kasi nga, hindi ako sapat. Hindi ako sapat sa lalaking hindi naging tapat sa akin.
Unfair man, kailangan ko nang tanggapin nang tanggapin ang sakit kasi kung hindi, lalamunin ako ng poot at galit. Bagay na ayokong mangyari. Ayokong maging toxic. As much as possible, I want to be a better version of myself.
"Ate, tawag ka na po ni Direk." Came by Czearine na kapapasok lang ng tent ko. Ngayon kasi, kahit na may hangover pa ako ay kinailangan kong mag-trabaho.
Last shoot na kasi ng upcoming movie namin ni Liv. Well, speaking of him, wala na siya. Umalis na nang hindi man lang nagpapaalam sa akin-- at bakit niya naman iyon gagawin?
Grace, wala nang kayo. Gising.
Napangiwi na lang ako sa biglang naisip.
About sa shoot ko ngayon, although na-shoot na namin iyon kanina, Direk Samsy wants everything to be perfect kaya heto, pang-limang take na kami. Natigil lang ako sa pag-su-shoot dahil biglang sumakit ang ulo ko. I beg for their ten minutes and they gladly let me.
Mabuti na lang talaga at si Grace Malakas ako. Charot.
Ngayon ay nakahiga ako sa folding bed. Bumangon ako pero bigla akong natigilan. Para ba akong nahilo nang biglaan.
"Oh, okay ka lang Ate?" Agad akong inalalayan ni Czearine.
I wince at her as I nod. "Yeah, baka pagod lang ako." I tried to ease the pain on my head by heaving a deep breath. "Hangover, you know."
Czearine nodded at me pero halata pa rin na hindi siya kuntento sa sinabi ko. Inalalayan niya ako hanggang sa makalabas na kami ng tent kahit na sinabi ko sa kanyang okay lang ako.
"Oh, okay ka na ba Grace?" Direk Samsy welcomed me with a smile.
I nod at her as I started to walk near her. Pero noong mabitawan na ako ni Grace ay para bang nanghina ang mga tuhod ko. Hanggang sa para bang nanghina rin ang buong katawan ko. At bigla na lang dumilim ang paligid . . .
***
Nagmulat ako ng mga mata. Bigla akong nasilaw dahil sa liwanag na bumungad sa mga mata ko. Kinusot ko muna ang mga mata ko bago tuluyang nagmulat.
I blink when I saw the white walls. Matapos ay iginiya ko ang paningin sa hinihigaan ko. I was lying on a hospital bed with Czearine lying his head on my side. She is holding my hand.
"Hey . . ." I called for her. Hinang-hina ako. Para ba akong nagbuhat ng ilang kilo ng kung ano man.
Agad na napabalikwas si Czearine. Ngiti ang bumungad sa kanyang mga mata noong makita na akong may malay. "Ate! Gising ka na!"
Bigla siyang napatayo. At para bang hindi niya ako inintindi, tumakbo siya papalabas ng kwarto. Hindi ko na lang siya inintindi, pumikit na lang muna uli ako.
Noong magmulat uli ako ng mga mata ay may kasama na si Czearine. Dalawang nurse at isang Doctor.
"Kamusta ka na po, Ms. Grace?" Maaliwalas na pagbati sa akin noong babaeng nurse na may magandang ngiti.
I smile at her weakly. "I am quite fine. Medyo napapagod lang."
After that, kinuha nila ang blood plessure ko. Tinanong din nila ako ng kung anong tungkol sa kalusugan ko. For which, I answered honestly. Sans the part na si Liv ang dahilan ng pagiging stressed ko lately. Hindi nila dapat malaman na pinoproblema ko ang breakup namin.
Moments after, pinalabas ng Doctor iyong mga Nurse. He was also about to demand Czearine to go out when I stop him. I told him na okay lang na marinig ni Czearine ang kung ano mang sasabihin niya. After all, Czearine's my only family right now.
"Ms. Samonte," the Doctor said with a tone on his voice that screams danger. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong kinabahan sa kung papaano naging mataman ang kanyang pagtingin sa akin, "noong wala ka pang malay kay isinailalim ka namin sa ilang mga tests. Ito ay para malaman ang sanhi ng iyong pag-collapse."
I nod at him politely.
That moment, hindi ko alam kung bakit ako kinakabahan. Sure ako na baka ang dahilan ng pag-collapse ko ay ang hangover at stress ko lately. Pero bakit . . . bakit parang may iba pa siyang nais ipahiwatig?
"And we found out that you are five weeks pregnant."