“Cassian said you're free tomorrow.”
Natigilan ako sa pagsusuklay ng buhok ko at napatingin kay Zakarius mula sa salamin. He's sitting on my bed while hugging my pillow. I just rolled my eyes and continued combing my hair.
“Oo, pero may lakad ako bukas. Why? Do you need something?” I asked and put the hair brush on the table. Nilingon ko siya saka tinaasan siya ng kilay.
Zakarius just stared at me and didn't say anything. I groaned in frustration and stood up. Lumapit ako sa kanya at nakapamaywang na hinarap siya. He bit his lower lip and held my hand. He pulled me closer to him. Napasinghap na lang ako nang mapaupo sa kandungan niya. He hugged my waist and buried his face on my neck.
“Stay with me tomorrow after ng lakad mo, hmm?” he said and kissed my neck softly. I chuckled because of the tingling feeling it gave me.
“Why do I have to stay with you after ng lakad ko tomorrow? For what?” I asked... laughing, and pushed his face away from my neck and looked in his blue eyes directly.
“Nothing, I just want to,” he murmured and gripped my waist gently and caressed my arm.
Ito na naman siya sa mga gestures niya na ganyan. Marupok ako sa mga ganito niya, kusa akong bumibigay, parang hindi na nako-kontrol ng isip ko ang sarili ko sa tuwing ginagawa niya 'to.
“Para saan ba kasi?” tanong ko pa saka yumakap sa batok niya.
He just held my jaw and kissed my lips gently, I just closed my eyes and responded to his gentle kiss. His lips are like caressing mine with much care and passion. He hugged my waist tighter and planted soft kisses on my lips, to my cheeks, to my nose... he planted kisses all over my face. I just bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling. Nakikiliti ako nang kaunti sa malambot niyang labi.
“Zakarius...” I pushed his chest gently and looked in his eyes.
“Hmm?” he murmured and touched my cheeks. I glared at him when he starts pinching both of my cheeks. I slapped his hands but he's still pinching my cheeks.
“Stop it,” I commanded and slapped his hands again.
“Ano yung sasabihin mo?” tanong na lang niya saka binitiwan ang magkabilang pisngi ko.
“I want to sleep now, get out of my room now,” I said and lifted my eyebrow.
“Why? Am I still now allowed to sleep here beside you?” tila nagtatampong tanong niya.
“Oo, bumalik ka na ro'n. I'm going to sleep na,” sabi ko na lang at umalis sa kandungan niya.
Humiga na ako sa kama at nagkumot, nanatili namang nakaupo si Zakarius sa paanan ko. Lumingon siya sa 'kin saka gumapang papunta sa tabi ko at humiga.
I just rolled my eyes when he hugged my waist. Kinumutan niya rin ang sarili at nagsumiksik sa 'kin. He nuzzled on my neck and gripped my bossom gently. I slapped his hand and glared at him.
“Tigilan mo,” pananakot ko sa kanya.
He put his hand inside my night gown and caressed my waist. Hinayaan ko na lang siya at yumakap na lang din sa kanya. Hindi naman nagpapapigil ang lalaking 'to kapag gusto niyang tumabi sa 'kin, and besides, hindi ko rin siya natitiis.
I sighed and brushed his hair using my fingers. He let out a husky groan and inhaled the smell of my neck. Damn this man, I can't just say no to him.
“Angel, why do you smell so good?” he asked in a husky voice.
“Natural na mabango ako, Zakarius. Maswerte ka nga dahil hinahayaan kitang amuyin ako, e,” mayabang na sabi ko at napangisi pa.
“It's such an honor,” he mumbled and gently fondled my breast. I slapped his hand. Damn this man.
Inalis niya rin ang kamay sa loob ng nightgown ko at niyakap na lang ako nang mahigpit.
He's so clingy, but I don't know, I like the fact that he's clingy. I should be irritated but I'm not. What the hell is he doing to me? I think I'm not myself anymore.
* * *
“Angel.”
Natigilan ako sa paglalagay ng lipstick at saglit na napalingon kay Zakarius.
“Hmm?” tanong ko at muling tumingin sa salamin at tinapos ang paglalagay ng lipstick.
“Where are you going?” tanong niya at nagtungo sa likuran ko at hinawakan ang magkabilang balikat ko.
“Castor's party,” I answered and fixed my hair.
I'm just wearing a simple asymmetric ruffled floral pink chiffon dress, I matched it with beige wedge heels. I let my hair down because I don't put much effort on my hairstyle most of the time.
“Puwede bang umuwi ka kaagad?” tila bulong na na tanong niya saka marahang pinisil ang balikat ko.
Muli akong lumingon sa kanya. Tumayo ako at nakapamaywang na hinarap siya. He just bit his lower lip and hugged my waist. I just sighed and rolled my eyes but I still hugged him back.
Damn it, he smells so good.
“Why? You seem bothered. Ano ba'ng mayroon ngayon?” I asked.
“Nothing. I just want to hug you nang matagal. Umuwi ka kaagad,” he murmured and kissed my neck gently. I just but my lower lip to stop myself from giggling.
“Yeah, uuwi ako kaagad para you can hug me nang matagal,” panggagaya ko sa pagiging conyo niya. Hinigpitan na lang niya ang pagyakap sa 'kin at isinubsob ang mukha sa leeg ko.
Damn this clingy man.
It's already 5 pm, siguro makakauwi ako ng 6 or 7 pm. Alam naman ni Castor na hindi ako nagtatagal sa mga ganoong party, and besides, I'm kinda excited to go home because I want Zakarius to hug me nang matagal.
“Zak, I gotta go. Baka ma-late pa ako ro'n,” sabi ko na lang at bahagya siyang itinulak. Napabuntong hininga na lang siya at lumayo sa akin.
“Damn, I miss you already,” he murmured and avoided my gaze. I bit the insides of my cheeks to restrain myself from smiling like an idiot. Damn this man, he's making me kilig.
“Whatever, I'll go ahead. Bye!”
I took my car keys on the bedside table and immediately left the room. Hindi ko na binalingan ng tingin si Zak dahil baka hindi na lang ako tumuloy sa party ni Castor.
I can't take my mind off Zakarius while driving on the way to Castor's party. I miss him already. Nahahawa na yata ako ng pagiging clingy sa kanya.
Nakarating din kaagad ako sa party, as usual, there are actors and actresses like myself here in the party. Gusto ko na lang batiin si Castor, i-abot ang regalo saka umalis na lang kaagad. Hindi ko alam kung bakit atat na atat akong umuwi kaagad.
“Angel Mendoza! The queen of Castor's party!”
I just smiled awkwardly when a group of celebrities approached me. When did I become the queen of Castor's party? Fuck, I'm so done with these issues.
“Hey, Angel.”
Lumapit sa akin si Castor at bumeso. Napangiti na lang ako at agad na inabot sa kanya ang regalo ko... it's just a limited edition watch. Sa sobrang tamad ko nga ay si Chan pa ang inutusan kong bumili no'n.
“Happy birthday, Castor. By the way, I have to--”
Hindi ako natapos sa sasabihin ko nang basta na lang nitong hinawakan ang wrist ko at hinila ako papunta sa table nila saka pinaupo. I sighed and bit my lower lip. Fine, I'll just eat and go, I really want to go home.
Kaunti lang ang kinain ko, akmang aalis na ako nang matapos akong kumain pero agad akong niyaya ng mga artistang kasama ko na maki-inom sa kanila. Safe namang mag-inom dito dahil bawal ang reporters dito. Pero ayaw ko pa rin, gusto ko ng umuwi.
“Ahm, no thanks. I really have to go, and I can't drink because I'll drive on my own,” I said while fighting the urge to raise my eyebrow at them.
“Don't be a kill joy, Angel. Castor will drive you home. You're the queen of his party, you can't leave just like that!” Karina, my co-actress, exclaimed. I looked at Castor who's staring at me intently right now. I just rolled my eyes and drink with them.
Mataas naman ang tolerance ko sa alak, hindi ako nalalasing kaagad. Kaunting inom lang siguro at uuwi na rin ako kaagad.
MANY HOURS passed, hindi ko na rin namalayan ang oras dahil nawili ako sa pakikipag-kwentuhan at medyo may tama na rin ako.
Kinuha ko ang phone ko para tingnan ang oras. My eyes widened when I saw that it's already 11 pm. I sighed and massaged my temple. There are a lot of text messages from Zakarius too. Nagulat na lang ako nang makitang lagpas 100 na ang texts niya. Agad kong binasa ang mga 'yon.
Hey, what's taking you so long?
Are you alright?
Susunduin na ba kita?
Angel, I miss you so much, I want hugs.
I bit my lower lip and immediately stood up. Nagmamadaling lumabas ako ng hotel na pinagganapan ng party ni Castor. Agad akong nagtungo sa kotse ko at kinuha ang susi mula sa pouch ko.
“Angel!”
Napalingon ako sa tumawag sa 'kin. It was Castor. Agad siyang tumakbo papalapit sa 'kin.
“Hey, I really need to go home. Happy birthday ulit, I'll take my leave.” I was about to get inside the car but he immediately grabbed my wrist.
“I'll drive, you're kinda drunk. Baka mapa'no ka pa sa daan,” sabi niya saka kinuha mula sa 'kin ang susi.
Hindi na lang ako kumontra at hinayaan siya. May tiwala naman ako sa kanya dahil hindi siya nag-inom buong party.
Tahimik kaming pareho sa biyahe. I'm busy reading Zakarius' messages. I don't know but I'm kinda nervous. I lost track of time because those bitchy actresses and actors are so stubborn. Gusto ko tuloy pagsasampalin ang mga mukha nila.
“Mukhang hindi ka mapakali.”
Napatingin ako kay Castor. I just smiled faintly at him and scratched my nape. I lost for words, I just want to go home as soon as fucking possible.
“I'm just tired,” I said and looked at the window. Damn, I'm too obvious.
Nakarating din kami sa bahay makalipas ang ilang minuto. I hastily get off the car and was about to go inside but Castor stopped me and held my arm.
“Hey, here's your car key,” he said while chuckling and gave me my keys. I awkwardly smiled at him and took my keys from him. Damn it.
“Thank you, ahm... Paano ka uuwi?” nakakunot-noong tanong ko.
“I'll just take a cab. I'm fine, pumasok ka na,” he said and slightly pushed me. I just smiled at him and immediately get inside.
Madilim ang bahay pagkapasok ko, mas lalo tuloy akong kinabahan. Sinilip ko si Zakarius sa couch at sa kuwarto ko pero wala siya ro'n.
Where the hell is he?!
I took my phone and dialed his number. I thanked heavens when he immediately answered the call.
“Where are you, Zak?” I murmured and bit my lower lip.
“Kitchen,” he answered and ended the call.
How dare him end the call just like that?! At nasa kusina lang naman pala siya?! Pinakaba niya pa ako.
I bit my nails and took a deep breath, my system is in ruckus right now, my heart is pounding so hard. I'm still nervous, he's obviously mad at me.
Whatever, I didn't promise anything to him anyway. Yeah, right, wala akong kasalanan dito.
Nagtungo ako sa kusina, naabutan ko si Zak na nakaupo sa mesa habang nakatungo. Gusto kong matawa dahil inii-swing niya pa ang mga paa niya na parang bata.
“Zakarius.”
He looked at me, I almost shivered because of his cold eyes. Ganitong ganito amg tingin niya sa akin noong unang gabing nawala si Jaze.
Speaking of Jaze, kumusta na kaya siya? Kapag bumalik siya, siguradong hindi ko na siya magagawang harapin pa.
“Are you mad at me? I'm sorry, okay? Hindi ko naman alam na matatagalan nang gano'n, saka hindi ako basta puwedeng umalis dahil birthday ni Castor 'yon. Ang halay naman kung kakain lang ako at aalis,” agad na paliwanag ko nang makalapit ako kay Zak.
Tumingin siya sa 'kin. Napalunok na lang ako nang umalis siya sa pagkakaupo sa mesa at lumapit sa 'kin. I looked at his face and stared in his eyes to see his reaction. I can't see any emotions there, now I'm really nervous.
“Me too, but nevermind. I understand,” he murmured and immediately left the kitchen.
Napaawang na lang ang labi ko at sinundan siya. He took his leather jacket on the couch and wore it. Hindi ko na siya napigilan nang basta na lang siyang lumabas ng bahay at padabog na isinara ang pinto.
What the fuck is his problem?! Na-late lang ako ng uwi, galit na galit na siya.
“Bahala siya sa buhay niya!” naiinis na sabi ko at binuksan na lang ang ref para uminom ng tubig.
I was taken aback when I saw a chocolate cake inside the refrigerator. Napakunot na lang ang noo ko nang makitang may cupcakes din doon at fruit salad. What are all of these for? Did he cook these? But why? Ano ba'ng meron?
Napailing na lang ako, kahit mabigat ang pakiramdam ko, nagtungo na lang ako sa kuwarto ko upang magshower at magpalit ng pantulog. Hindi pa rin mawala sa isip ko si Zakarius. I want to know what's wrong with him or call him but my pride is not letting me do that.
I just opened my twitter to look for some tweets. My forehead creased when I saw a tweet from my co-actress, Savannah Miranda.
Happy birthday Castor Raven and Director Zakarius Cavalcante! <3
My lips parted and read the tweet again to make sure. Today is his birthday?!
Agad akong nag-search sa internet, I searched Zakarius Cavalcante and I gasped in shock when I saw his birthday there.
Director Zakarius Cavalcante
Birthday: April 20, 19**
Age: 38 years old
Nationality: Filipino-Italian
Oh my goodness. Birthday niya nga ngayon! And wait, he's a Filipino-Italian? Damn, I didn't know that.
Agad akong bumangon para bumalik sa kusina. Binuksan ko amg ref at tiningnan ang mga pagkain do'n. Kaya ba gusto niyang umuwi ako kaagad at makasama ako buong araw dahil birthday niya ngayon? Why didn't he tell me that? Kung alam ko lang edi sana hindi na ako nagpunta sa birthday ni Castor.
I bit my lower lip and tried to call Zakarius. I groaned in frustration because he didn't answer my call. Sinubukan ko ulit na tawagan siya ngunit hindi siya sumagot.
I know wala naman akong kasalanan dahil hindi ko naman alam na birthday niya, pero hindi ko alam kung bakit nako-konsensya pa rin ako. Hindi ako mapakali, parang may kung ano sa tiyan ko na hindi ko maipaliwanag.
I'm scared, I don't know why... What if tuluyan siyang magalit at hindi na bumalik?
Damn, that will be the death of me. I can't... I can't let him go yet. I still need him, I still want him by my side.
Fuck. Fine. I love him... I love him so much.