"Jade," he brushed his hair with his fingers.
"I'm sorry." I thought I was too strong. Just one word from him made me feel like I was being beaten. In all words that’s not what I want to hear from him. I didn’t expect that.
"That was ..." I chuckled. "All right." With a smile on my face, my heart pained so bad. I never thought my heart could hurt so much.
"It's not your fault." I added.
His eyes lost expression. I waited for him to say something else but he just stared at me for a long time. Face of his fiancé flashed into my mind. Even before the tears finally welled up in my eyes I quickly said goodbye.
"All right. I'll just go home." I laughed raw again.
I turned my back on him and I felt nothing but the coldness. What aisles did I turn around just to find the way out, where I couldn't pass people. I bit my shaking lips so it will stop, but I hoped it's enough. Cause as soon as I did that tears started to fall like there's no tomorrow.
"Jade,"
I gasp when I heard him calling me again. I quickened my pace until I saw hope to get away. I walked into the open place and saw it was a lanai of the house. I was still walking slowly because I tripped over the elevated door. Because of that he had the chance to grab me by the hand.
"Jade please." I harshly faced him.
"Why? Do you have anything else to say? What other reason do you have for chasing me, huh?"
His eyes widened a bit when he saw me. I thought it will be the right time to burst. I woke myself up to a reality. I breathed heavily and turned my back to him but my foot is not helping me at all.
"Your foot." He said sounding exhausted.
With an uncontrollable frown I stopped and faced him again. He halted and looked into my face.
"What else do you not understand? I'm okay! I'm fine! I'm injured but I can walk." Tears flowed like crazy. It was very clear that even if that was what I said, the reason for my crying was different.
"I didn't know you were here." he said softly.
One slight movement, my ankle pained like hell. I bit my lip and reached my heels. Now I'm barefoot.
"That girl is-"
"Savannah. I know. Savannah Li." I said.
"Can you listen to me first-"
"Bullshit!" I grunted. I stoned my heels to where.
"Of course! I didn't ask for any explanation from you. Why are you chasing me and making the situation worse?"
He didn't say anything.
"I get it. I get it all, Erato. You don't owe me an explanation." I sniffed. "You know it's okay." I emphasized every word. "I'm happy. I'm happy for a little while that you fulfilled my dream. I'm not asking for anything from you. In fact I should be thankful." I laughed.
His jaw moved in a harsh way.
"But I would have been more receptive if you hadn't followed me here now!" My sobs grew louder. I touched my lip, hoping those sobs wouldn’t escape but I was disappointed.
"Because I will never understand this, Erato! We are nothing but a plain hook up but here you are chasing me as if you're guilty of being with her! Why? Do you feel sorry for me? What? Are you afraid to find out. daddy and brother? What? "
"That's not the-"
“Then what else !?" I felt my throat hurt from that scream.
"What if it's not that? Because I'm in a mess, Erato! I'm so confused by your actions and I will never understand that!" I wiped my face with my palms.
"I never asked for anything, Erato. But please, don't get my hopes up." I uttered under my breath and faint sobs.
"If it’s not me, then don’t chase me like this ever again." Silence reigned for both of us.
My sobs had faded already but my tears won't stop. I sighed for the last time expecting him to say anything but he kept his mouth shut as he couldn't even look me in the eye. With a smile, I spoke again.
"Come back now. She’s probably sad that you left her."
He gave me a look before I finally turned my back on him. I don’t know how I got in the car unscathed due to foot pain and blurred eyes. I just know that my tears kept on flowing but my mind is too busy to even mind the pain that I'm feeling.
I texted Olivia that I'm going home. My message to Olivia was overshadowed when older brother Jax called me. I canceled it twice and answered it on the third time. I cleared my voice for him to not notice.
"Where are you? I've been calling you before." his usual frustrated tone.
"I-I'm on my way home."
"Don't. Go straight here to Saint Lukes and you don't belong there. "
"W-what? Saint Lukes? Why?" I glanced at my driver.
"Let's talk here. I'll text your driver."
That's all and he drops the call. It took us about half an hour to drive to Manila. For the whole trip, I cried silently so that my driver won't hear me. Less foolishness, less explanations.
That night was one of the worst. For lots of reasons I've cried for him this must be the most extreme pain that had caused me. The way he looked me in the eye with so much pity hurts me the most. On the many occasions I have allowed myself to be fooled by him I never thought on this occasion I would be miserable. If 'worst' can do any justice for this night, then it might be it.
When we arrived, I didn't expect that I would be seeing my father at the emergency. Kuya Jax looks so miserable while he embraces me and whispers that it will all be alright.
He suffered from a heart attack, they say.