João Felipe
The view from my living room window, in the commercial building that housed the Mendes de Albuquerque branch in New York, was spectacular. From the time I was on the thirtieth floor of the building, I could see much of the magnificent city, known worldwide and the desired destination of many.
I was able to achieve all the goals I set for myself over the last few months and was very satisfied with myself and everything I had accomplished. But that was it.
I didn't feel happy and the work was no longer motivating me like before. The proof of this was that it had been a long time since I had a very important report on my desk and zero willingness to analyze it. Worrisome.
I needed to issue some opinions on various investor accounts of our company and had no desire to read the data placed in front of me by my secretary for a few hours.
I was discouraged, that was it, I needed to admit it, at least to myself, since my pride didn't allow me to let others know how restless I was.
I was seriously considering paying a visit to my parents in Brazil. I had never gone so long without seeing them, and even less so without talking to my brother. We didn't keep in touch after he decided to marry Viviane and I don't even know if this wedding happened or if it was just a "straw fire".
Things were very different between me and my family and I couldn't tell you how that happened. There just wasn't that spontaneous interaction between us anymore and the conversations boiled down to cordial dialogues, just to know if everything was okay. Even my mother, with whom I have always been very attached, was different.
I admitted that I had a certain share of blame in the current situation, since on a few occasions that my parents called me, I avoided them. But it had happened as soon as I arrived in New York and when I didn't want to know news about the couple in love. Even thinking about my brother and Viviane as a couple made me uncomfortable and I avoided it at all costs.
Faced with my discomfort with the situation, I even deleted my brother from my social networks, so as not to have to follow his constant updates on his personal life, when Viviane went from friend-sister to future wife. It hadn't made any sense to me at the time, and even after more than a year, I still couldn't swallow that story. I also excluded some mutual friends and made it clear to those who worked with me that I did not expect to receive news from home, since when the subject tended to go to that aspect of my life, I would change quickly and my expression would make it clear that this was not something to be discussed.
I got to a point where I dedicated myself so much to work, to making our branch a success and now responsible for almost fifty percent of the company's profits, that I had almost no personal life and my social contacts were boiled down to business events, except only when I went out to dinner with some woman, which I had usually met through business, but my intentions boiled down to just one night.
Now I wonder, looking at this time I spent outside the country in which I had been born and in the place where I considered my home, what I had built. If we were always in search of happiness and a full life, I would have achieved my professional goals, but my personal life was practically nil since not even my family was with me during all these years that I lived here.
" I wonder if you have already signed the report, " said my secretary, after knocking on the door and I released your entrance into my room. " Jack is requesting them in his living room. "
I settled into my chair, for I had been all this time making conjectures and analyzing the landscape, sitting indolently, and I could not even complete a simple task.
"Not yet, Natalie. But ask Jack to come to my office, please. "
"Of course, Mr. Felipe "
After Natalie left, I took the reports that should already be signed and began to read them quickly and superficially and sign them in the necessary places. I should forget the ramblings in my work schedule and focus on the obligations, after all, if we became a success in just one year, it was due to the commitment and dedication of all employees, especially on my part.
Soon Jack was in my office and we started discussing some more urgent matters that require a lot of time and attention. By the time I realized it, it was already seventeen o'clock and I had arranged a meeting with an old friend from college, we were going to a launch vernissage of an artist she was friends with and now I truly wished I hadn't scheduled anything for that night.
"Well, I see you're in a hurry today," Jack commented.
"Why do you think that?" I asked casually.
"It's already the second time in less than a minute that you've looked at the clock," he pointed out.
"Sorry, I didn't want to be rude," I said, already getting up and arranging the papers that were on my desk and putting them in my briefcase. I intended to read some of the pending reports when I returned from my meeting today.
"You're weird. Are there any problems with the company that I am not aware of? For personal problems will not be," he joked.
"Why couldn't it be some personal problem? "
"You have no personal life, Felipe. He lives dedicated exclusively to business. "
I was tense at Jack's statement and didn't like the way he was getting into a subject I had no desire to talk about, especially with him, who was a close friend of João Pedro.
"You know I have family, don't you?" I said, not holding back.
I began to walk towards the door of the office hurriedly, as the subject was not pleasant.
"Of course. But let's leave that matter aside. I've been working with you long enough to know that only work-related matters are welcome. "
We both left my room and I greeted my secretary with a nod as I passed her desk. I didn't need to warn her that I was leaving, because by that time, she already knew that I wouldn't be returning to the company that day, but I could still visualize her look of astonishment as I passed her desk.
"See you tomorrow, Natalie. Have a good night's rest," Jack said as we were leaving.
Jack headed down the hallway toward his office, which was on the same floor as mine, and headed for the elevator, from where Miguel left, as soon as he opened the doors.
"Are you gone?" he asked, with a questioning look.
"Yes. I have an appointment," I replied bored.
I didn't understand everyone's astonishment that I was leaving the office at that time.
"Got it. I had a few points to deal with, about a potential customer. A large construction company, multinational. It would be interesting for us. ''
"I'm leaving, Miguel. We'll talk about that tomorrow. ''
"Did something happen? You never leave so soon. ''
"I commit. ''
"But that wouldn't make you leave here anytime soon. ''
"It's not early and I don't need to be satisfied with my schedules. Have a good night" I wrapped up the matter and entered the elevator, which remained stationary during our brief dialogue, much to my relief.
As the elevator doors closed, I could still see Miguel standing there, staring at me in amazement. But I couldn't understand and I wouldn't waste time rambling on what others thought about me. The unproductive afternoon I spent contemplating the landscape of New York was enough.
Soon I was in my apartment and took a quick shower, put on a navy blue suit, my favorite watch, the one I had gotten from my mother, and after combing my hair, I was ready. I had shaved in the morning and didn't usually do it twice a day.
I looked in the mirror once more and after checking the time, I saw that it was still too early to go find Megan and decided to have a drink first.
I had arranged to meet her at twenty o'clock in the gallery where the vernissage was to take place. I thought then that there would be no problem in arriving sooner. I could take the opportunity to make some contacts, after all, I knew a lot of people in New York and would certainly meet with some associates.