Viviane
I barely managed to nail my eye and woke up feeling like a rag. Despite this, I had to work as my commitment to the foundation was of great importance and could not be missed just because I did not get a proper night's sleep.
I didn't even have breakfast, as I had woken up later than I used to and with the little time I had before leaving, I chose to be with Sarinha.
The day was exhausting and once again I did not go to lunch at home, preferring to eat anything near the foundation even. Despite the rush during the day, I got home early and after resting a little before dinner, I felt renewed. She was ready to face whatever it was.
João Pedro did not answer my calls, however, he answered the messages in a cryptic way, saying only that soon I would understand and that at most in two days he would be in São Paulo.
Your answer didn't make me any less apprehensive, just more curious. I wanted to know what he and Jack had decided if they were going to take over their relationship and face everyone in the name of their love, if they were going to stay together but discreetly, or if the relationship had no chance of moving forward. There were so many possibilities!
The next day, when once again I opted to leave work just for a quick meal at the restaurant near the foundation, I was surprised again by the presence of João Felipe in front of the building, leaning against the state-of-the-art sports car.
"I see you've already returned from your sudden journey." I didn't hold back and let go of what was stuck in my throat.
He just nodded and gestured for me to get in the car. I didn't argue and sat on the hitchhiker's seat, after all, I couldn't stand being curious about whatever happened there in New York.
"Is everything okay around here?" he asked but seemed to be just pulling the subject.
"Yes," I replied only.
I noticed that he was heading toward the same restaurant where I had lunch with JP and that he arrived with a guest. The same one he took to New York, I made sure to put on record in my mind, so I wouldn't get caught up in whatever little conversation he decided to apply to me.
When we were already settled at the table and had made our request, he tried to touch my hand, but I pulled it in time to avoid contact.
"I know about my brother's relationship with Jack."
I immediately began to cough, in reaction to the words that Felipe spoke, without even preparing the ground before.
" How so?" I finally managed to ask.
" I have nothing against João Pedro's sexual option and I don't care who he relates to, " he said, surprising me even more. " The whole problem in this story and that I still could not understand, because João Pedro did not help me in any way in this sense, is: why did you get married? They even had a daughter!"
I was silent because the truth was much more complicated than he imagined and I was at a dead end now.
"Why, Vivi? I need to understand."
Again he tried to pull my hand, and this time I didn't stop him. I was feeling so lost now that the whole truth would come out.
"How did you know?"
"I arrived by surprise at the New York office and ended up overhearing a conversation between João Pedro and Jack. My brother tried to deny what I heard, but I made it very clear that nothing would change about what I thought of him or even about our relationship."
" I hope not even because João Pedro can deny it, but apparently he fears the reaction of people to learn of his homosexuality " I ended up confessing what I always insisted to JP.
"Although I believe I have a strong feeling for Jack, I really don't believe that, because if I really loved it, he would face everyone without even a second thought, as he always did about you, Vivi."
I looked at him puzzled by his quick assumption.
"Do you mean that the person João Pedro really loves is me?"
" Not in the sense that you understood " he corrected me. " He loves you as he loves me, a sister. But he doesn't really know what he feels for Jack, Vivi. And so he doesn't know what to do next, now that Jack is free to move on with the relationship, ready to take on for everyone what they're living through, while my brother is using you as an excuse, Vivi."
"It's nothing like that! You're jumping to conclusions, João Felipe "I protested because I knew that João Pedro was only trying to protect my secret, after all.
"Okay, then. We'll finish our meal and I'll drop you off at work."
I was at a loss to understand his sudden change of attitude, but at the same time, I thanked the heavens for not having to deal with this matter now.
When I was already at work, after Felipe left me there, I didn't stop thinking about it for a second, not even being able to concentrate on work.
I decided to go home because there was no point in being there without actually being able to do my job. I called Fabiano to come to pick me up, and I was waiting for him in front of the foundation when I have another surprise. Instead of Fabiano, I see João Pedro waiting for me.
" When Fabiano warned Mom that he was coming to pick you up, she was very worried and asked me to come," he explained.
"You didn't warn me you'd be back today!" I scolded him.
"We're going to look for a coffee shop so we can talk without interruptions."
Still in the car, he told me how João Felipe had found out about his affair with Jack and the conversation the two had after that. He was very happy to have his brother's support and assured me that he kept my secret protected. But that I already knew, after all.
After we were already in the cafeteria, I opted for tea, I was in need of a little calm after all the emotions of the day.
Listening to what JP said, a thousand justifications he gave to explain why he would not assume a relationship now with Jack, I began to realize that what Felipe said made perfect sense, since I always made it quite clear that it would never be a burden.
But I could do nothing if he wished to keep only one case secret, as before. For that was what it was looking like.
"Aren't you just using me as an excuse not to take on your relationship with Jack?" "We made a deal that one wasn't going to arrest the other and I don't want to be the reason you don't stay together."
"Felipe asked me to set you free, so you could understand each other. If I do that, you will accuse me of treason. So I'm in a dilemma."
"When did João Felipe ask you for that?"
"He went to New York to put me up against the wall."
"What about the woman who traveled with him?" I asked what was consuming me.
" She will work in our branch and he took advantage of the trip to take her," he explained. " So what? Is that what you want? Give Felipe a second chance?"
I really didn't know what I wanted now. I knew I didn't want to be a hindrance to JP's happiness, but if we broke up, Felipe might believe that I would go straight into his arms. What a mess!