Iris is now 20 days old.
I spent most of yesterday looking at every last minute ticket to Virginia that isn’t over my budget, and can get me there the earliest and bring me home the latest. The ticket price wasn’t that bad but I definitely will not do this often. My credit card is lacking the ”Last minute surprises" option.
I don’t want to leave my daughter when she’s just a newborn, I wish I didn’t have to do this, and I wish I would’ve told Collin two weeks ago when the lawyer handed me the paper but I didn’t and I’m p**sed off I didn’t.
I was currently sitting in my car, the plane ticket in my hand, my bags in the trunk. My feet not allowing me to move, it was partially because I had to wake up at 2:30 this morning to get to this large airport, knowing I had to get going so I could get through security and get to the right terminal and gate before the plane takes off, I forced my feet to move.
I got out of the car, closed the door, grabbed my duffel bag, closed the trunk and locked the door, leaving the keys in the gas port of my Kia, texting -the still sleeping- couple who never received my text.
I walked inside to the check bagged line for my specific airline, the woman asked if I had any bags that needed to be checked and I just told he I had a carry on item, no checked bag.
I got my ticket and walked to the surprisingly short line through security, not getting beeped and my duffel bagged not alerting the airport security.
I remember when my parents would go on these vacation with me, Jason, and Nickolas to Hawaii, Alaska, and Oregon, we waited insane amounts of time to go through security, and just to get to Denver airport was a pain in the a$$.
One thing that surprises people when I tell them the “2 truth and a lie.” is that I actually hate vacations. I love being in my state, in my own town, and doing my own thing. But now I have a boyfriend who’s probably going to travel a lot. A baby who’ll want to go places when she’s older, and a freakin family court all the way in Colorado Springs, that’s almost two hours away for us to drive. My mom certainly loves to pic on my new family.
That’s actually really weird; being able to say “My family” I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to saying that.
**************
12:00 pm
ME: Hey Syd how is Iris
Sydney: The same as 2 minutes ago. Don’t worry about her we’ll let you know if something happens.
ME: Did you guys pick up my car from the airport?
Sydney: Nick just texted me, where are the keys?
ME: I told you early this morning, they should be in the gas tank thing.
I arrived at the airport in Virginia and was getting my rental car looking at the text Collin just texted me, almost like he knew I was here.
Hey, been super busy, I miss you two <3
ME: Miss you too. I really wish you were here Collin.
I do too. Catch you later.
Catch you later? Now I’m nervous, more than I was when the plane landed here.
“Ma’am?” I looked up from the desk, putting my phone in my purse looking at the man whos helping me.
“Yes?”
“We don’t have any SUVs but I could give you the deal on the-”
“I just need something that will get me from here to Stafford, at the price I wanted to pay for the SUV that’s somehow is being used when I reserved yesterday.”
“I understand ma’am, I will get you something that fits at your budget.”
About three minutes later, he came in a told me to follow him outside. Which I did. When we walked outside I saw my rental car then looked at Hayden.
“Is this my rental car?” I said smiling.
“Yep. We’re running low on cars this year and the only one that’s available.
“Thanks how much is it for two days?”
“$400 dollars for two days, some odd tax in it but it’s around $400.”
“That expensive huh?”
“It’s around the same price as the SUV would have costed ma’am, I can get you the smart fortwo car.”
“No. No. No. This will do, that car gives me anxiety when I see it in the streets back home.”
“So all we have to do is verify insurance, copying your drivers licence, filling out paperwork, and then giving you your keys.” he said with a smile.
************
I pulled into the parking lot, parking the Maserati all the way in the corner, the red hotness of a car, away from everyone and prodding eyes.
I walked over to the barbed wire fence when I see him running in the field with a bunch of other people, and Collin being Loyal as he his, staying away from the girls that come up and try to flirt with him. Which breaks my heart that I have to take him away from here because of our daughter.
I go up to the building and put my hand on the door which wouldn’t open, me being oblivious to the big red button behind me. When I pushed the button a voice popped out from the speaker under it, “Yes?”
“Hi, I’m here to visit a student of yours.”
“Name?”
“Tessa Reynolds.”
“I meant the name of the person you’re visiting, silly.” She chuckled.
“Oh Collin James.” I laughed.
The door buzzed open allowing me to walk in and my eyes were greeted with many tables and a few other items, assuming this is where they have lunch, it was definitely a spacious building, and fairly beautiful.
I walked up to the desk where there was two women, and a male answering phone calls, filing paperwork. They were wearing a green shirt with a FBI logo on it.
“Hello, welcome to the Academy, please sign in.” I took the clipboard and signed in my first name, last name, DOB, and who I was visiting, I handed her the clipboard with my left hand, she grabbed it with her hand and placed it down, writing the information in her computer.
“I love your ring, is it an engagement?” the woman said.
“No, definitely not, I don’t want to be for like 4 more years or something.” I laughed, putting my long hair on my left shoulder.
“Does he know you’re coming?” she asked.
“He doesn’t know I’m here. Or that I was coming. It was a last minute, urgent discussion that I have to say, kind of like, law abiding.” I said with a nervous smile.
“He’s only been here for one day, he’s been coming after each class he’s had, asking if he’s had any phone calls,”
She grabbed this old looking pager that was clipped to her belt and pages the director I’m only assuming, but my guess was completely wrong.
I saw Collin with some other students as he opened the door into the main building, his long sleeve shirt covered his muscles which need to be seen like all the time. I quickly hid in the waiting area, making sure he or the buddies he’s with don’t see me.
“So, Lilly, where is this package you called me for at?” My stomach was twisting almost like I had butterflies fluttering in my stomach. She pointed behind him, and he turned around, seeing me. smiled and ran to me, picking me up and spinning me around. I leaned my head down and kissed him, him kissing back. He put me down and I stared at him, smiling.
“What are you doing here!?”
“I just wanted to see you.” I somewhat lied.
“Are you finished with school?” I asked.
“Yeah, for a little bit.” I grabbed his hands and started walking out, when I remembered that I needed to thank Lilly. We walked out the door and I pushed the button. Her voice popped up.
“Thank you Lilly, I’ll bring back Collin before his next class I promise.”
“No problem.”
I walked Collin to the car and he stopped in his tracks. “You’re kidding me right? You got a freakin Maserati?”
“He said it’s all they had.” I threw him the keys, and he jumped like a little kid into the driver’s seat, this is his dream, and he can have his chance while he can.
“The location I want to go to is in the G.P.S, so drive Collin.” He pulled out of the driveway and started driving to the location I put in it.
***************
We got into back to his dorm, which was small but it didn’t stop me from immediately starting to kiss Collin. I missed his lips. I missed him. He moved me toward the bed then pushed me down.
We never had s*x that evening, but when he removed my shirt I made sure he couldn’t see my stretch marks, or the postpartum fatness I’m so determined to hide, everytime he tried to remove the blanket from over me, I shook my head no and he diverted to my bre*sts and necking me.
I don’t know why I can’t accept my body after birth, it’s not going to be like this forever... right?