Sh*t.” I felt Collin basically jump out of bed, and hear him putting pants on, I opened my eyes slightly and he’s wearing his grey sweatpants, a blue FBI hoodie, and gloves.
“What’s wrong?” I rubbed my eyes, and slightly sat up, the light from his room blinding me.
“I’m late for training. They’ll be here any second to check if i’m here.”
I still wasn’t quite awake, it was actually one of the best night sleeps I’ lve had in like 10 months.
I didn’t think about what Collin was saying, and I was used to sleeping without a bra at home and not having to cover them. I think Collin was too busy getting ready to tell me what he meant by that.
I now regret my habits I have at home, because I didn’t expect someone to just barge into his room. “Mr. Jame-” A man walked in to his dorm room, and turned the corner looking straight at me. I tried covering myself as fast as I could.
“Oh my... Sorry”
“Get out Pete! I was coming down!” Collin said as he finished tying his shoes, the guy still staring at my boobs, which are pretty full of milk, and I need to pump soon or I’m going to start leaking.
“Ahem” Collin coughed. “Why didn’t you listen to me? I told you that someone would be here any second.”
“Excuse me? You’re the one that was all over me last night wanting more than what I was bargaining for! I just came to tell you about the f**king court case!” Collin stumbled back by my anger, and my accidental slip up; “It wasn’t supposed to come out like that, forget I said anything.”
I grabbed the shirt that was on the bed, putting it on and then getting out of bed, my leggings still on. I was going to pump but I don’t think it’s the greatest thing to do right now, his roommate might appear again and I don’t need that.
“What?” Collin said, coming back to life.
“I didn’t say anything, just forget it, I’m gonna get out of your hair and go home today, I’ll call you when I get home.” I grabbed my stuff and walked to the door, my hand on the knob.
“Tessa if you walk out of the g*d d*mn door without telling me what the f*ck you mean, I’ll chase you home and tear everything in our apartment to find out what you’re hiding!” he yelled, scaring me. I don’t think I have never seen him this angry and I never thought I would.
“Mom’s lawyer left the court papers at our door two weeks ago, you were doing something so I figured that I would open it. When I did I freaked out and I hid it in Iris’s closet.”
“You hid it from me?” His voice cracked, disappointment all over his face.
“It was my first reaction, Collin. I meant to tell you every day, the day before you left, the day you were leaving but I was scared and I wasn’t thinking, so I came here, I was supposed to tell you at dinner and I almost did but I got scared.”
“When is it?” his face was red, tears were in his eyes and there were veins forming on his neck. He was boiled, and frankly, I don’t blame him.
I looked at my feet and placed the duffel bag down, the black zip up travel case for my br**st pumps, and replied, “Tuesday. At 7:00 in the morning.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“I promise, I tried everytime I could, but, for some reason, I could just never get it out of my mouth.”
He sat down on the bed and looked down, his hands shaking, and his breath suddenly deep. I notice every time he’s upset or nervous he runs his hands through his hair. “They really are going to go through with it? They want to take our daughter from us.” he looked at me with tears falling from his eyes, his hands still shaking.
I put my arm around him, hugging him and comforting him, I’ve done my crying, and I think it’s time he releases some of it before he does something stupid with it. “It’s going to be okay, babe. They won’t take our daughter, they’ll be so far away that they won’t be able to look at her, and they’ll die knowing they will never watch their granddaughter grow up. I’ll make sure of it, Collin.” He wiped his tears and got up from his bed looking at the time on his watch, his pager beeping like crazy.
“I’m running late for breakfast but I still want to talk to you, are you going to be here when I get back?” He asked.
“I wish I could Collin, but I can’t, Iris needs me, she needs my nutrients, she needs her mom, she needs you too, but you have previous commitments. Plus, it’s almost three hours back to Norfolk and I have a flight to catch back home.”
“Well in that case they can wait fifteen minutes.”
We spoke about everything we could get off of our chest, things we’ve been hiding since my mother and father told us they’re filing for full custody, we yelled at each other a few times but we made up. There was a lot of pent up anger that we were hiding and it wasn’t healthy. I was only hoping he would calm down before he continued his day, maybe call in sick after I left, but he told me he couldn’t. He didn’t want to cause any suspicion, which I could understand.
I left about an hour after we talked, I needed time to pump in private, and store it properly so it wouldn’t go bad. Making sure it was properly packed so the flight attendants wouldn’t throw it away. I didn’t want to leave here, I wanted to stay with Collin like we used to; Iris is my focus now, preventing me in a good way to leave Collin until he comes back.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Collins P.O.V
“Dude who was that girl you were with, she was super hot, her boobs were huge. And good lookin too.”
This is what he’s been talking about all day, acting like I didn’t know who she was and I was just getting my due and moving along, I didn’t want to reply. I pretended to ignore him, but the more I ignored him the more he talked about her and I was getting really fed up.
“You have to give me her number, she might be a great f*ck.”
I stopped running, my fists were clenched, and my eyes were stone cold. He talking about my girlfriend -the mother of my child- like she’s some G*d d*amn slut, opening her legs for anyone. “That is my girlfriend, the mother of my daughter, she’s seventeen and if you ever f*cking talk about her like that again I’m gonna have you hanging from the barb wire, you understand me, Pippy long stocking?”
“Didn’t think she was yo’ girl.”
We started running again, it was silent, and Pete was running behind me, I was in my head about Tessa’s parents and our upcoming family court battle that could last years, when I hear pete behind me screamed “Has she ever done it with two guys before?”
“Thats it.”
I tackled him to the ground and started throwing punches at him left and right. I didn’t care if I killed him, if his face swelled up so bad he couldn’t recognize himself, or if I went to jail and got kicked out of this program. I was gonna beat the sh*t out of him and it doesn’t help I was already pissed before he had to jump in it. Pete hit me a few times, and I called him names so he would fight back, I had the advantage being that I was on the top, his weak body couldn’t amount to my strength. It took four people to get me off of him, the rest were chanting egging me on to keep going, and I wanted to, I really did.
When I finally got off of him, he was still on the ground, my breath was heavy. I wiped the blood from my lip and nose using my left hand. I could taste the blood in my mouth, allowing me to properly show him who has the upperhand, I spit on the right side of him just inches away.
“That will teach you to respect women, Pippy Long Stocking.” The leading officer of our unit walked me to the headmaster’s office. I felt more than great watching Pete, who had to be gurnied to the hospital before the headmaster could give him his verdict.
II didn’t care how much trouble I was in, no one, no one ever talks about my girl, or any girl in that way, and no one disrespects me like that. I would be proud to go home, fight the battle in my life then fighting the battle of a sexist.
The officer knocked on the door, opening it slightly before the headmaster accepted entry, and I followed behind.
“Mr. James, have a seat.” The headmaster said.
She looked right into my eyes from across her desk and said “It’s your second day here in the academy, you showed up at notice two days ago, and now your causing problems in my academy?”
“Look I’m not going to apologise for what I did to Pete. He was talking about my girlfriend who is young, and doing everything back in Denver to raise our daughter and he was doing it in a sexualized way. I asked him nicely like an adult to stop, I warned him--”
“With, a threat I might add.”
“He asked if she ever did it with two guys. She’s seventeen ma’am!” I got up from my seat, clinched fist, walking around the room.
She looked disgusted too. “Ma’am I know what I did was wrong, and I’m sorry, if I had the oppurtunity to take it back, I wouldn’t. Pete needed to be taught a lesson and hopefully if he comes back, he’ll again, never disrespect anyone.”
“I can’t just let you walk Mr. James without giving you some type consequence. So I have to suspend you for your action, and I also have to keep you under lock down. You can’t leave campus.”
“How long?”
“2 weeks.”
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
One week later.
Iris is now 28 days old.
Tessa’s point of view.
It was only 6:00 in the morning, but I’ve been up since 4:00 tossing and turning, thinking of endless things that could happen in court, it’s sunday, and it’s only two days away, and I don’t think it’s going to get any better, or easier.
Baby crying, alarm blaring, food burning, teacher talking, house smelling, boobs leaking. This is what my days are consisting of.
I’ve tried calling Collin everyday, like I said I was going to; to talk about the court date that was coming up. He hasn’t answered his phone, called me back, or even sent an email or text. I look on instagram and facebook to see if he has the green light but it says he hasn’t been active, or maybe he knows I’ll look so he isn’t going on there; I really don’t know but it’s driving me crazy.
Iris has been crying off and on all night long, preventing me from more sleep and I have tried everything to try and get Iris to stop crying; Boob, diaper change, pacifier, bounce, etc. I think she misses her dad maybe? I looked online and it told me it might be inconsolable, but it’s driving me a little bit nuts, I can’t even get my mind to think of the thing I started of, maybe it’s the beginning of ADD?
I was getting Iris dressed in the living room, I might have been rushing because I was also trying to do school, while also cooking---
“Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!” I got up from the couch running up the wide, short stairs, to the kirchen where my scrambled eggs are burnt, the other pan containing beef bacon, ruined.
I turned the stove off, grabbed the pans, and threw them in the trash. It wasn’t worth spending 20 minutes to try and save them. I rested my head on the counter, feeling like a failure.
I walked back into the living room, put her clothes on, grabbed her and put her back onto the office floor, as she rested on her stomach for tummy time.
I sat at my desk where my computer was; the online educator had noticed My away symbol was relieved, sending me a private chat;
Tessa you need to be active in My class or I’m going to have to get the principle involved. This is your last warning.
Ms. Ingram, with all do respect, I’m a new mother and her father is currently in Virginia. I have no help here. My daughter can’t stop crying, I haven’t eaten and sleep has become a foreign language. Please take it easy on me.
I understand Tessa but I can’t give special treatment because of your struggles.
When Iris was done crying, class was over, and post mates finally showed up, I just broke down and started crying. This isn’t hard for other moms, especially if they only have one child. Why is it so complicated for me? Why am I making it harder than it actually is?
I would ask for help but Sydney and Nick both have jobs, My mom and dad hate me, and I don’t even know Collin’s family.
I continued to catch up and get ahead of school, When Iris started getting fussy I flipped her over onto her back allowing her to relax and stare at herself on her baby mirror. “Don’t worry, daddy will be home soon. I miss him too Iris. I just hope everything is the same when he comes home.”